Friday, December 31, 2010

5...4....3...2...1... Will it be?

Well shit... we are here, yet again... the end of yet another year, on the same river of shit, known as life... 2010 was one that was really an emotional ride... I lost a cousin, I'm loosing my Grandfather, and I've forced myself to end some, what I thought were, meaningful friendships... It is DEFINITELY a year, that I'm glad that is over. But, it wasn't all bad, in no particular order, I got to hang out with my homeboy in my hometown, I witnessed my Gamecocks make history, ( blog is named "first from laughs.") I rekindled old relationships, and even started blogging for my sanity! I'm thinking school cause of this year, and, trying to make my last hurrah on the face of the earth, I cant really complain about this year, and how it ended up, cause, I still have my job, I still have my friends, and I'm blessed to know that I am loved, and healthy. I did try working out, and it was working, but that shit got expensive! So, Imma try again next year, maybe, but cheaper for sure. I have learned a lot about myself as well this year. The biggest thing I learned is that, I have NO control over money... I tried to save it, and better manage my finances, but, to no avail, attempt after attempt... its so hard to try to establish something, KNOWING that something is going to happen to take away that money you were trying to save. One of my goals for 2011, is to be better manager of my money. Along with that, I hope to have found love, as i give it my once a year attempt to find it. But, all in all, 2010, I'm coming out of it pretty healthy! I have regrets of actions I did, I have my moments of laughter as well... But, one thing about 2010 that I will not miss, is 2010... Its time to say goodbye to you, and watch you burn in hell... 2011, you have 365 chances to make it worth it... hope you do! See you all in the new year. :)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Weight Of My World

Would you blame me if I went crazy? If instead of talking out my feelings, as dark as they may or may not be, I actually acted upon the saying "I gonna shoot you in the left eye?" Would you find it funny, or scary if I did actually do something? Would your view of me change, if I did actually decide to allow my emotions to overflow, and I do actually bring harm to someone or myself? I don't know what would happen, but I know that I NEVER want to ever be that guy. The last time, I actually allowed my emotions to get the best of me, I ended up saying something to someone that I should have never said, but, she had it coming at the time, and after the damage was done, I'm surprised, I still have friends. LOL But, what if I did decided that the day to go crazy was tomorrow? Would not be a good day. Would people still take advantage of me, if they saw me blow up? Would they rethink there love, or appreciation of me? What if I didn't bottle up all my emotions, would I be a better person? Would I be the same person? Would I smile a lot, to mask the war within? Would I laugh at everything like I do now? Would people respect me more? Would the ladies think of me of more than just a friend? Its all types of fucked up to think like this, but, this is what swims through my mind... EVERY THOUGHT MUST GO! Right? Well, I hope I never become that guy... I want to be the same guy that respects all, and is stubborn about my choices in life... I LOVE the pangs of life... I love the emotions that comes with the everyday. I love being frustrated, and not able to say a damn word at times... I love not being willing to allow anything to try to alter my views, thoughts, or social status... I am happy of who I am right now, and probably will be happy for the rest of my God given days. Although the science says that people who holds it in, die sooner, if that's the case, Ill take it. But, the world will know that I died young, but satisfied, that I lived my life, the way I wanted to live it, and not the way someone else wanted me to live it. So, in my worst days, I would still rather be me, than someone else. Hope you take time to see that misery to one, is pleasure for other, and however they make their life go as smooth as possible. Think about it.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

SONG OF THE WEEK... the end.

The "song of the week" blog thing that I did is coming to an end... it was a hard challenge trying to find a song for the week, that is different, but I managed to do it pretty well, I think, and I do hope y'all enjoyed. I do hope it opened you up to a lot of new sounds that you may now, or may not enjoy, but all the same, thanks for listening... :) And, unfortunately, I will not be doing this again next year... come 2011, I will just feature songs that I like. I'm not going to set a day or a time, I'm just going to put up the song, and hope you like. :) I will still give you a description of the band, and the song, but, I will not be doing this on a weekly basis... it could be every day, it could be once a month, who knows! :) I don't. It all depends on when the music hits me. :) So, with all that said, I thank you again, and I will finish out this series with 4, yes 4 different songs, from 2 different bands. The 2 bands that I'm talking about are 2 of my favorites. I say that because if you own all the albums by them, they are pretty much standing out as the favorites. lol

The Black Keys is a band based out of Akron, Ohio. A duo who was sick of mowing lawns, and decided to make music... It turned our pretty good for them, cause, there infectious blues rock sound has spread like wildfire, and has burned into souls for almost 10 years now. The 2 songs I picked from there are "When The Lights Go Out," and "Howlin' For You." Starting with "When The Lights Go Out," found on there album "Rubber Factory," This song is exactly what makes this band stands out... The blues in the rock, and the way the guitar notes hit, as the pain is pounded out through the drums. The lyrics sits on a heavy hearted voice (to me), and it completes the picture that this song paints me--pain no matter the time, cause she will hurt you and leave you dead in the sun, the moon or where ever. Like he says, "You know what the sun's all about, when the lights go out." Enjoy

The second song that I chose comes from there latest masterpiece called "Brothers." It's a song that has a familiar beat... Ever hear the song called "Rock and Roll part 2?" How about the "Hey!" song that they play at sporting venues around the world? Yeah! Same song. :) When you hear "Howlin' For You," You hear that song, but, its not copied, or even the same song... this isn't some sort of bullshit Vanilla Ice biting off of Queen. lol No, this song, is very good, and the show of a wolf on the prowl. Its a ballad saying, "I wish you would notice me, so I can attempt to make you love me." So, I hope you enjoy it... My favorite part is in the bridge of the song, where it just breaks down into this melodic heavenly moment, that takes away the pain. :) So I do hope you enjoy "Howlin' For You."

And now, to the second band. The Dead Weather. This band is the brain child of the legendary Jack White. They are a band based out of Nashville, Tennessee, and was founded on the last night of The Raconteurs tour back in 2008. It happened during the encore when Allison Mosshart, of The Kills, came out with the band and sung "Steady As She Goes," during the encore. And after waiting like 2 and a half hours after the show, the drunk band members came down, and gave autographs to us who waited, and it was well worth the wait. :) But anyways, Jack White, plays drums in this band, and I love it. I consider Jack White playing drums as "an angry and scared kid, beating out his demons." But, There are 2 songs from this band, that basically slows it all down, to give you something that your soul can find comfort in. Starting off with there song "Will There Be Enough Water," From there debut album "Horehound," This song, to me, is the perfect song to play at a funeral... because the song says it all. To me, it says what we all hope when we came to the end... Did I do enough? Did I say enough? "Will there be enough water, when my ship comes in?" I do hope you love this song like I do.

The final song that I chose is the song that broke them. Its called, "Die By The Drop." This song epitomizes my description of Jack White on drums. It's like, to me, that he is LITERALLY banging away the frustrations in this song alone. The way he wore his heart, the troubled times he went through, with relationships, friends, defending his bands, trying not to be the spotlight, ALL of that, sounds like it went into the drum parts of this song. The song, itself, is amazing, but what makes it, is, the drum parts. I do hope you enjoy. And again, Thank you so much for going through this journey with me. I do hope I've touched your ears, as I hope to have touched your soul with this blog. :) Enjoy

Like a diamond ring, lost at sea.

I think I know where I lost my Christmas spirit... It died somewhere between me leaving church, and working around people, who don't believe... And whatever floats your boat, is what keeps you awesome in my eyes... But, I'm cool with it all, but, its not me! I loved Christmas, and what it means to me, but with the times changing, the tides shifting, and the ones I love, slowly dying away, I don't know, if I will ever be able to recover to enjoy Christmas again. I don't even know, if I will enjoy it, when I have kids... I do love it when I celebrate Christmas with my co-workers, as we get drunk, and full on delicious alcohol, and food. Being together with the people that matter to me, is where my Christmas spirit lies... I will never find it in a store, on the news, or even in sports... Its not in a church, its not in Chattanooga, Tennessee, or Columbia, South Carolina, or Hoover, Alabama, Its lost. Lost into the people that I love with all my heart, which is my co-workers, friends, family, and faith. Nothing can touch those things in my heart, and my Christmas spirit is scattered throughout... I don't need gifts, or money, or anything for that matter, except for the knowledge that my friends and family knows that I love them and they love me. :) So, if that warrants an absence of Christmas Spirit, then, I'm ok with that. :) Merry Christmas, and although the day may not be such, glad that sweet baby Jesus was born for us to know freedom. :) Good night.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I looked in the mirror and smiled. :)

Its hard to stop smiling after the day that I had yesterday. I ended up going to South Carolina, to see my Grandfather, who's said to have 3 months left to live. On Sunday, I thought I wasn't going to be able to go, but, luckily my mom was willing to switch cars with me for the day, and I had a blast on the way, and on the way back. When I got to SC, I went to see my Grandfather, and when I got there, luckily they just got back from the hospital. And, my Aunt Theodora was fixing a plate of spaghetti for Granddad, and I sat and ate with him. It was good to catch up a bit, and just be there and to see him. Its always fun to listen to old men talk, as Uncle Gunn was there with us, enjoying a "peanut and jelly dog." lol No, there was no hot dogs in it, it was just a peanut and jelly sandwich in a hot dog bun. And just listening at how times were, it made me smile, and appreciative of what life was like. So, after a few hours of hanging out, and just being around familiar surroundings, remembering the times me and my cousins would run around the house, and the yard, back when Columbia was a safe city, The funny moments shared with family as we laughed and talked, and yelled at each other for no reason. Oh, the good times. After that, I met up with my Twin. :) That was a good reason why, I smile today... Meeting up with my mirror image was what my soul needed. :) Seeing her and catching up just made me feel... complete! Seeing her smile, and just us catching up from 10 years, just made my trip for the day, even better. To sit there, and talk out the last 10 years in our lives as they went separate directions. But, it felt good to just allow God to have us get it out, and fall in love as twins. :) Don't go on thinking that I have a 2nd sibling, I don't... its just me, and my little sister Elise, but my Twin is Lindsay. The way we became twins, was one day in the weight room at the high school we were attending at the time, I was working out, she was too, and this guy named Peter, looked at her, and saw me, and realized that she wasn't me, and was still having a deja vu moment... since that time 13 years ago, we've been linked. :) Since moving here to Georgia, we've seen each other one other time, and that was 10 years ago. Since then, as she told me her life, I told her mines, and all we did was just smile, laugh, and played darts. It was so good and fulfilling, to let her know who I was, and I can imagine that it was the same for her when she told me who she was. Shes a survivor, a fighter, and a beautiful soul, and I love her to death. :) It took us 10 years to catch up, but doing so made me not want to go back home to Decatur, but not allow the night to end like this. But it had to... and now life is good. To see my Grandfather, and my Twin, in the same day, and enjoy both companies, and them enjoy me, was worth it all. :) I am truly blessed. No, seriously... TRULY blessed.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

That Little Bit Of Light

This summer, I thought I was going to die. Seriously! I thought that, I was going to drown in the Ocoee River the day that we, as a company, went to go whitewater rafting. I thought I was going to fall in, my leg was going to get caught under a rock, and I was going to end my life right there... And, the moment that I for sure thought it was going to happen, was when we did this thing called "surfing." We hit this one rapid, and somehow, I lost control, fell in, went under the raft, and in a mode to where, I didn't panic, cause, I had to remember the things to do to keep me alive. Head up, feet in front of you, and just remain calm... well, it would have been easier to do, if I just didn't have a nose full of water, but I managed to keep my cool, have a laugh, with my team, and get pulled in, and continue the fun... It was my fourth time whitewater rafting and the 2nd time falling in... I was pushed in as well, but that doesn't count.

But, I tell you that story to get to the real subject of this blog. As some of you may or may not know, I have bouts with depression. Its not clinical or anything, but I know what I feel... and when I get deep into it, I eat a lot, and I think about "my buddy." "My buddy," is a gun... I don't have a gun, but, I know, that I'm there when I see him. And depression is just like what I thought was going to happen to me this summer. When you think theres no way you re going to get out of this, you can, and you will... All you need to do is stay calm and force someone to pick your big ass up. When I say that,  not talking about someone physically picking you up in the case of being physically rescued, but if you need out, you have to force someone to listen to you... its easy to just go through life living in the lie that your head is telling you, but its even easier to ask someone that you can trust to just listen... When I get like that, I feel as if everyone hates me... Like, I pissing everyone off for something I did... and, I hate to do that. I hate to let my friends, and co-workers down. But if I let one down, I feel as if I let them all down, and no ones happy with me. And when I reach that point, I don't even want to drink. And as much as I like to drink, when I feel like it, when I'm depressed, I don't want to, ONLY because, I don't wanna be that type of drunk. lol I like being the happy drunk. Being a mean, and grumpy drunk and bitching about the world, is not who I am, or want to be.

But, its a feeling that I know the world cant understand, and I cant explain. its not an easy feeling, and not an easy spell to break... All you can do, is pray, and try to convince yourself that its better than what it is... Ive been sitting on this subject for about 2 months now, because of the situation that has happened back in October, when The Gamecock Nation learned that South Carolina's All-time Leading Receiver, Kenny McKinley, shot himself in the head, and its because of depression, and gambling debt... He kept in touch with a lot of friends, and he was known for his smile... and to find out that a young man, like him, suffered, and thinking the easiest way out was killing himself, just shocks the world... That's the thing about Depression... its a ghost... No one will ever know who's walking around with thoughts of ending it, or thoughts of feeling alone, or just thoughts of sadness. Everyone deals with it differently, but, those of us who suffers has to over think the situation, and fight our way out of it... For the last 15+ years, I've manage to not kill myself, and to just know that its not going to be easier with me away from the world... I have a purpose, and I will go when God is ready for me to go...

Depression is heavy weight to carry, but, it can be manageable, with the right people, and importantly, the right hobbies... Things that help me out is writing and music. Cause with writing, you can allow the pen to bleed for you, and with music, it can just make you feel better... Before work one day, I was in a shitty mood, then I put on some Florence + The Machine, and I felt the anger melt away... Music is powerful against anything that makes you feel bad... So, I write that and end with this... If you do suffer as I, I urge you to find someone that you know you can talk to... they don't have to be the greatest of friends, but if you can trust and know, that that person can and will help you through the thickest and the thinnest, and if they aren't available, find something creative to do. Find a way to manifest that pain into something beautiful and that the world will feel. And if that doesn't help, find your favorite musician, and make him or her, or them melt the pain away. Can you do that for me? Please?

Monday, December 13, 2010

Songs Of The Week

Well, I got 2 more for ya.... One, Ive known for a while, about this artist... his name is Shawn Hewitt.. He's from Canada, and has one amazing song, that I will share with you today... The name of the song is "One On One." Its a song, that is basically an "I hate you" song. Its very heart-felt wonderfully sung, and just one of those songs that reach down into your soul, and let you know, that you did hurt me, and the world now knows how much of a bitch you are... so, here's this weeks first song by Shawn Hewitt "One On One" :) Enjoy!

The second song, this week is from a band that does not exist anymore... its a great song, from a band, that, unfortunately doesn't exist anymore... This band decided to call it quits, about 2 years ago, but, they are still entertaining... the name of the song is "Need Your Needs" by the band, Georgie James. Its a poppy tune about seeing a familiar face, everywhere... its very good, and the song that turned me on to them in the first place... so I hope you enjoy, "Need Your Needs" by Georgie James :) Enjoy!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

That Sounds Flat...

Nothing sickens me more, than this shit made pop music that has been spewed out, this decade... Since 2000, I could tell, that there was a slow decline of powerful music, cause, these, so called, "musicians," make all these songs, "for the clubs." Well, if they are all for the clubs, they fucking keep it in the clubs!!! I don't wanna hear this shit! But it wasn't until October, at Williams-Brice Stadium, in Columbia, South Carolina, that it hit me at how bad, and sad the music got, over the years... If you know me, you know I don't listen to the bullshit, that is on the radio today... And these "Artists" are still getting all this money, for... what, exactly? What impact has Will-I-Am made on music? What about Usher? How has he shaped my views of music? What about these other guys, that makes bullshit sounds, and music, and some of the most fucked up lyrics Ive ever heard?

"I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good good night..."

Are you shitting me... THIS, is whats hot?! THE WORST song ever... and yet, this bullshit, is more popular than anything that Jack White makes... Seriously, a retarded goat could have written the same lyrics... WOW! Moving on... Ive heard a lot of great pop songs, in my life, but lately, music has been on a decline... and like Ive mentioned before, Music is to be the influence to society, and not society influences music... But unfortunately, Society, has been the biggest influence in music, than anything else... Think about it, Rap, Hip-Hop, R&B, and even this thing called "Rock" has all fallen victim to the shit of what we want now... Its never anything that has to do with the past, or about what the future should be. Its about that "Crazy Bitch." or "Throwing some D's on that bitch," or even "When everybody hands go up..."

"All I Do is win win win no matter what
got money on mind i can never get enough
and everytime I step up in the building
everybody hands go up
and they stay there
and they say yeah
and they stay there
Up down, up down
cause all I do is win win win
and if you goin’ in put your hands in the air.."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! Its so bad... and I hate it all... Brian McCann came out to this everytime he went to bat... Auburn University has this as there come out song as well, its so fucked up... Music today, is always popular... because, its what sells.... Shit and sex sells easier than good, hard worked, valuable to soul and spirit music... Its sad, and it hurts my heart to know that music in America is declining to the ways of bullshit songs as the 2 that I have quoted... This is what America has reduced itself to... shitty music.... NO WONDER the world hates us... Change the radio station... find some good shit America... quit doing this to yourself... I make this blog after hearing a lot of the bullshit songs that were played tonight at work. Its fun to watch people have a good time, but not at the expense of shitty music. 8 notes destroyed cause, of these fucks, making "club bangers" and nothing that means something to someone, who made need to hear that lyric, that beautiful melody, or that arrangement... Music does more for culture, than people let on to believe. Its ok... change is inevitable. :) Goodnight.

Friday, December 10, 2010

It's always "what if" with me.

Today was a weird day to think about the hypothetical, I'm about to lay on ya... But, it's exactly what keeps my mind sharp. But, why such a weird subject? What in the hell would make me think about such a thing? I don't know... but, here... Ill share with you, what went through my mind today... So, while going back home from Target, I was, for some reason, thinking about how weird, the map of the United States would look, if the Confederates won... Not necessarily "won" per se, but if it was able to keep the southern states, as its own nation... What would that mean for me as a black man? Would I have to have a special licence to be able to shop? Would, work for nothing, as the "masters" gain everything? Would there be a leader to lead us out of the oppression, if the oppression was still a part of society? Would I be able to even learn how to read and write? Who knows! Its all hypothetical... On the other hand, would racism even exist in the Confederate State of America? Would black men, walk around in a better environment than, that of today's America, where, people are still holding on to what is plain out ignorance? Would black people, be looked at as gods? And not feared and oppressed? Who knows! We are here and now, and things are getting better, slowly but surely... I don't know how it would have been if history was different... But that's the beauty of imagination... It begs you to asks questions of what is, and isn't, and how, if ever, you can change the current situation. It could be beautiful, or it could be ugly, and you can make it as beautiful or as ugly as you want it to be.  Would I have the friends that I do now, if we were a confederacy? Would black on black crime exist in a confederacy? Would there be a drug or alcohol epidemic in a confederacy? I don't know... Most likely though, cause, there would never be such a thing as a utopia. But, if, I had control over the states, I would make sure that there was peace and understanding, amongst us all... I would make sure, that laws were in place, for equality, and make sure, that the arts would strive... That's what I would do, but, as it turns out, if the south was to rise, we all be fucked... oh well. Its beautiful to just think.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


The Atlanta Police Department has to be THE WORST in the entire world... worse than the corruption in Mexico and there police department, and probably worse than the Rio de Jinero police in Brazil, with all the "accidental killings, and beatings." Why do I think this? Because, on Saturday, while me, Frank, and Don, were trying to find Franks friends, who was at Mary McCloud Bathune Elementary School, off of Northside Dr. in Atlanta Georgia, Tailgating before the SEC Championship Game. So, after waiting for about 30 mins on Frank to show, he told me, where his friends were, and we started to head where he said, they were... it was pretty windy out, so we made a b-line to where he was. So, on the way, I run into Matt and Richie... 2 old friends from The Motherland (South Carolina). Then we made a cut through the grassy area between the parking lot stairs, and the Georgia Dome, and we walked on the outside of the Georgia World Congress Center, which was holding thousands of fans, for the SEC Fan Fare... well, we were about to get ready to cross the stree, when we asked a cop, where the school was... he told us that we were close... we have to go on the other side of the dome, and its straight ahead, with a black gate... well, we go up to where he said, and we dont see a black gate... AND, so, we see another cop... we asked her, where is the school, and she said "I dont know." What the fuck? How the FUCK are you an Atlanta Police Officer, and you dont know where the fuck an elementary school is? Seriously? Really? I bet you, if I asked where a liquor store was, youd tell me in a hot minute, bitch... So, we go to what we thought was the place, turns out we were a block and a half the wrong way... So, we ask YET ANOTHER COP... and his answer... "I dont know what youre talking about." My fear of the city actually grew. Who the fuck actually hired these dumbasses? How are you going to be a cop, and not know where the fuck an elementary school is?! That is very embarassing, and I dont know who I need to talk to, but, Imma find the person I need to talk to, and ask them why, are they hiring people who dont know where the fuck anything is in the city. If I wasn't so good with recognizing my surroundings, I would be fucked, If I ever got lost in this city. Anyways, The Atlanta Police Department, aint good for shit... Yeah, I said it... NO WONDER theres so much crime going on in this city... cause, while people are giving directions, these assholes, are going to the wrong places... SO fucked up... While, crackheads and meth heads, are out there, robbing people, and assholes, are kidnapping and raping people, and innocent people, who are trying to get home from work, are being held up at gun point, these fuckers are trying to finish up the next level of Grand Theft Auto 3... Thats my perseption of it of course, cause, who knows what they are doing... So, with all that said, I say, one last time... FUCK YOU ATLPD... GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

Friday, November 26, 2010

The true meaning of the Holidays?

Between Capitalism, and the media, I think that we, as a nation, all forgot, the true meaning of this season. We love to think about others, and ourselves at the same time. We always want, and we have to always get... We have to find a reason to make everyone happy, and not be happy with what we have, thats dear to us... If its a gift that makes our families, friends, signifcant others, dogs, and cats happy, then we dont know what this whole season means... Yes, we changed it all around to where, its a wintery thing, and no onger something that means something in the Spring, like it once was. and True, this is a season that has been turned around from something that was a time of free love, to a child being born miraculosly, in a small town called Bethlehem... The Maji knew of this event, and the world knows of this man who gave his life to save the world... But outside of that, what does this season means to us all? To some, it means making little Timmy, and little Sally, getting them there high tech toys, that we scratch and claw over people to get, to make sure, that they have a happy Chanukuh, a happy Kwannza, or happy Christmas. Its where we have forgotten what it all means... This time is for all of us to be with the ones that we love the most. Its a time to just be happy with the ones that agrivate us, and makes us smile, and laugh, and want to punch out, choke to death, and ultimately, cant get enough of... The family and the friends we've made and has been tested, and lasted, should be more important than any gift... Im not anti holidays... Im just not a fan of what the holidays does to us as a whole... In other countries, its not about the gifts, its about the meaning of christmas... To me, its always been that trip to Chattanooga, Tennessee, and bing around my cousins, and aunts, and uncles, and my Grandmother, who passed away a year ago, and laughing talking, and trying to beat each other in whatever the popular game is this time around... The food, and the clothes... I always got clothes, never anything cool like my cousins got, I alway got the clothes... thats bullshit... Anyways, now looking back, its always been that for me. As much as I would have liked to have those gifts back then, now, looking at it, I always got what I needed, and never what I wanted... or rarely got what I wanted. And along with the good people around me, that shaped me into the man that I am today. So, if I seem to be all "Scroogie" during the holidays, its not because I am, necessarily... its because, I dont believe in your holiday celebration. It just doesnt excite me the way it use to. Since Grandma's gone, and the family seems to be splitting up, in a way, I just have the memories to hold on to. :) Thats enough for me. I do hope one day that I will be able to have all the money to waste on my kids, but as it stands, I have not kids, no one to love, and nothing to really look forward to, other than the Beautiful day, that we celebrate with family, friends, and the ones we love. Thats enough for me. But dont get it twisted... I DO love getting and giving gifts... But I dont do it when the meaning is right. Hope that makes since.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it says "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." And on this thursday, I found a song that is excactly what this verse means... Its sad that we all have to take one day to be "thankful" for anything, and everything, but, that should change soon. We should always be thankful for the life we have, the people in our lives, and necessities, that that hels us maintain our lives. So, without family around, without friends, or anything but me and this computer, right now, I just want to list a couple of things that I am thankful for personally... 1st, Im thankful for simply, the people that I call family. My family is not only the blood relations, but the friends that Ive shared laughs, tears, good times, and bad times with... Without yall, life would be pointless, and lonlier than it is now. :) But Im content... and Im also very thankful for another year, where I can share and express that love. Its the small things that makes the biggest difference in life. :) Now, this weeks song is entitled Thank You Lord (For All You've Done For Me)" By Walter Hawkins.. This song holds a special place in my heart, because, Ive sung this song a lot of times when I was with the St. Martin de Porres School Gospel Chior... and even today, some 20+ years since singing it, it still holds true, and feels good to hear. :) So, I do encourage you to listen to the entire song, and must allow yourself to be taken away by the words... Cause when you focus, and youre thankful, worries melt, wounds heal, and that undescribable feeling of happiness overtakes you. :) But, anyways, no further delay, I give you "Thank You Lord (For All You've Done For Me)." HAPPY THANKSGIVING! :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010


To make up for last week, Im going to have 2 songs this week. A lot of new music has come out, and Ive been on the move to get it... So, out of the stable of new music that has come out, I am going to give you 2 songs from the 2 different bands/artists that I picked up... ok... So first off, everyone knows who Cee-Lo Green is, or should know who he is. His mucisal credibility is a long and deep as it comes... a member of the Atlanta hip-hop group Goodie Mob, an accomplished solo artist, and the voice of Gnarls Barkley... Heard of him? No? Well, have you heard his latest song called "Fuck You?" OH! YEAH! That guy! Yeah, but anyways, the one song off of that album, that has really stuck with me, is the first song on the album called "Bright Lights Bigger City." And honestly, to me, its probably a great way to honor 2 of musics biggest legends, Michael Jackson, and Prince... If you listen to it first off, thats all you can hear, is some Prince, and some Michael Jackson. lol... Its a great song off of his latest album called "The Lady Killer, and I do hope you like. :)

The Second song comes from a band I discoved from a HTC commercial. There was this song played, that got me searching who this band was... After looking and what not, I discovered that the band that Ive been looking for, is named "Fitz and The Tantrums." Its a great find. One of those albums that just rides on your soul. Its soulful, and amazing to listen to. Definitely a new favorite of mines... The song off the album "Pickin' Up The Pieces," that is used on the commercial is called "Winds of Change." Its a really good look into just how life will change all of a sudden, just like the wind... its a great song... Hope you like.

Friday, November 12, 2010


So, what song should I pick this week... I know! Its one, from this band that came out of nowhere and is making a huge hit in the music scene today... Sleigh Bells, is another beautiful product out of New York, where it holds only a guy, a guitar, a girl, her voice, and computers ramped all the way beyond distorted. With simply sung, and written lyrics, with hard beats, a driving guitar, and a bassline that will blow your eardrums out, along with your speekers, this band is and will probably be very entertaining for years to come. There first album is called "Treats," And it is, just that... a treat. its not a long album, but it will definitely keep the party going. The song I picked, is one of the few singles I've heard on the album, before I bought it... As you know, I have a rule that I fallow strictly... It doesnt go on the blog, unless I own it. And I got it, and Imma play it. But the song is named "Infinity Guitars." The only thing I ask for you to do when you listen to this song, is to turn it up ALL the way to fuckin 14, and just allow the last 45 seconds of the song to blow your head off!!! I love this song, and I hope yall do too... So, without anything else to say, I give you, "Infinity Guitars," by Sleigh Bells. :) Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Be Still. Dont Move.

Sometimes in life, its just best, to shut everything off... No TV, no XBOX, no nothing... All that you can hear is your own beating heart, your breathing, and most importantly, your thoughts... its not an everyday thing, or even an every night thing, but I love to just turn it all off, and just concentrate on the darkness, as I finally allow my brain to have its say... I sleep with the TV on, and I dont sleep that much, if and when I do get to sleep... I still dont think, Im an insomniac, but, in those times, Im just trying to shut myself up... But, its beautiful to allow myself to clear shit out! Things I try to talk myself through is life, finances, taking care of the important things, and of course, trying to motivate myself to be better than who I am right now. You can also make beautiful music in those times... Using your imagination to make the songs you want to hear... make your own soundtracks... You can paint a pretty picture as well. Your imagination and creativity can flourish if you just allow yourself to shut up every now and then... You can even pray during those times... You can ask God to help your friends through difficulty, pretect family and friends, and allow the lessons that he has for you to manifest, and be taught... And after you've allowed yourself to actually come to peace with yourself, you can rest, and be satisfied... Sometimes we just need to vent it all... I may be the only one who experience moments like that, but I highly doubt that... But sometimes, just telling the world to SHUT THE FUCK UP, and allowing your brain to vent, is what we need... just sitting there quietly staring into the darkness, listening to you breathe, and create, and imagine, and love. :) So, just take a moment, or a night, and just allow yourself, every now and then, to just sit still... Hope yall have a great day.

Monday, November 8, 2010


This weeks song was a tough one to find. With such a weird week that this was, working an unusual schedule, Going through Election Day, Seeing a friend struggle through a shitty week at work, and the constant reminder that I am a Gamecock (fuck you Arkansas), it was appropriate for me, to play a song that's pretty sad... Although a great week, just one of those weeks, that can be soothed with a nice sad song... And which song would be better than the one that I picked for this weeks (sorry it was late, I had a lot of hate of politics to get off my chest.) song of the week. This is the second time I have used this band in this blog, I think... and its by one of my favorite bands... TV On The Radio. And its called "Blues From Down Here." Its the perfect song... It is a mix of sadness, anger, and depression, with ways to deal... its a powerful song, and one of my favorite to be seen played live. So, it was a good time to pull this song out. :) From TV On The Radio, I give you "Blues From Down Here." :) Enjoy

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Right or Left?

The First Amendment written in The Constitution of The United States of America states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

So, I know you are asking right now... "Why am I talking about the First Amendment, when you, of all people, JUST STATED that 'you would rather' do all these things, other than talking politics?" Well, Allow me to establish my train of thought behind my last blog talking about why I hate talking politics! Will you allow me?... A lot of people that likes to talk politics to me, are people who I work with, work around, work for (in the since of serving), and hang out with... It seems like everybody has a political agenda now a days, with everyone screaming "democracy" or "republic" or "fill in your party here." I don't have a political agenda, and I think its wrong, and a violation of my First Amendment rights, if ANYONE says to me "If you don't vote, you don't have a say in who's in office." So what, if I did or did not vote... As a natural born citizen of these United States of America, I was borned, with the right to run my mouth in any way I feel. If I do, or don't say anything about the asshole, looking off in the distance, with his right hand over his heart, and his left hand crossing his fingers, is no right for you to say that my rights to feel whatever about him, is not warranted, because, I didn't vote... So, who says that if I don't exercise my right to vote, I cant say, fuck this guy, or fuck that guy? And if you believe that by voting, there will be change, where is it? Obama has been in office for 2 years now... I'm still making it day to day... I'm still having to pay all these taxes... so, wheres this relief? Where was this "change" every white "N.W.A." fan, says was coming? All Ive seen was a lot of the same things... In this day and age of "the now." Nothing has changed... health care is still non-existent, the "African-Americans" of us, are still holding on to the fact that this motherfucker is black, and is not doing much to help there situations... So, wheres this change? Whats Congress going to do? Well, if there was ever a reason to not like Politics, this is it... Politics keeps me poor, them rich, and me afloat in the same river of shit... But DO NOT tell me, that I don't have a right to say anything EVER again... I have my rights, and fuck you for thinking that you can tell me that I don't have the right to say anything, cause I didn't vote... I have all the rights in the world, only because, the law says I do. So, if you want to live with this phantom belief, that all non-voting Americans can suck it and shut up, well, you suck it and shut up... Another thing, that I don't like is how everyone is all about this "GO OUT AND VOTE" kick... what if I measure all parties involved, did my research and see what they have planned, and I still don't like what I hear, see, and read, and I decide to hold my vote, Am I wrong? I mean, I did the research, and all I smelt was bullshit, so, am I wrong for not voting? I don't think I am, and next Election day, if I don't see something I don't like, Imma hold on to my vote... I don't care if that means that your guy wins or looses... I have the right, and fuck you for trying to take it away from me. All done.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


Today, while working, I was loving the day... it was cloudy outside, it was cool, a little bit of rain, and just the perfect way to begin the late fall... So, as I'm finishing up, I see the one thing, that pisses me off about his time of the year... The City of Decatur, decided that TODAY, was the best day to put of Christmas wreaths, on the light poles.... WHAT IN THE FATHER FUCK IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!?! Why is Christmas so fucking important to people, who rarely believes in the true beauty of Christmas... When did Christmas became more important than being thankful of everything? When did Christmas jump the importence of Thanksgiving? Not to take anything from Christmas and the fun that it holds, but, in my eyes, EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD HAS ITS TIME... Getting ready for Christmas in early November, to me, is like building your own coffin for your birthday, just to know that you're going to die on that day... prepping the wood, measuring it, cutting it, making it all nice, then all of a sudden, you climb in, and try to nail yourself in... at the same time, digging the ditch deeper... Its stupid... And nothing irks me more, than to see people get excited about, talking about, and advertising for Christmas before Thanksgiving... SHIT! Thanksgiving has a hell of a lot more food than Christmas ever will! Why in all that is good and right, would you want to skip on the food?! I didn't even mention football.... OH MY GOD! I'm in heaven on Thanksgiving Thursday... But lets not forget, before I completely destroy your happiness, Christmas is a great time to get excited... It reminds me a lot of family times, in Chattanooga, with the hint of burning wood in the air, in the cool quiet air, softly breezes across the mountain sides... And just the fun of being with the family... Its a great time Every Christmas in Chattanooga Tennessee, and although Grandma is gone now, its still a great enough reason to get together, and love the people that matters, and the people we have to remember. And more than anything, I would rather be thankful, than to be all happy about Christmas. Like I said in a facebook status comment... "Time and Place." I think the right time, anyone should be getting all excited about Christmas, is after thanksgiving... why is that? cause you have all your family there, and you can tell them all, what you want for Christmas, knowing that you're not going to get it... But the fact that the media, is already celebrating Christmas, while, screaming out to the world, about being politically correct, and calling this the holiday season, is another reason why I hate seeing all the lights, and wreaths, and shit before thanksgiving... They want you to spend money, and not spend time with the people that matter... society is all fucked up, and it can even lick my balls... I know I cant change the world, and Im not trying to, but in MY house, Christmas will be discussed, talked about and thought of, the day AFTER Thanksgiving... thats when the decorations go up, December 1st, the tree is going up, and January 1, EVERYTHING is taken down. Everything in its proper place and time... Thats what I believe... You dont go off and start bragging about how excited you are to die do ya? Well, why brag about how excited you are about a season, that will be here, well after you are gone? Think about it... thats how I feel, and IM done. Goodnight.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


There is nothing more, in this world, that I don't HATE more than Politics... And, in this blog, I am going to start a list of the things that I would rather do, than to talk politics... here we go.

1. I would rather become a Clemson fan
2. I would rather cut my balls off
3. I would rather become a vegetarian
4. I would rather admit that I am an "African-American"
5. I would rather start smoking crack, meth, heroine, or any other drug out there
6. I would rather cut my tongue out
7. I would rather think that music sucks
8. I would rather be homeless
9. I would rather loose all the people that i consider, or consider me to be friends
10. I would rather set an entire city block on fire
11. I would rather kill my dog and my cats
12. I would rather be miserable
13. I would rather agree with the BCS
14. I would rather denounce my faith in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit
15. I would rather eat shit... literal human shit
16. I would rather kill my family ending with my mother
17. I would rather drink lava
18. I would rather drink bleach
19. I would rather accept stupidity as a genetic disorder
20. I would rather die in the worst possible way
21. I would rather have some bitch lie to me and break my heart
22. I would rather suck a dick
23. I would rather admit that Santa Claus isn't real
24. I would rather think that fake tits are awesome
25. I would rather punch and spit in the face of Pope Benedict
26. I would rather like Tim Tebow
27. I would rather think Jack White is the worse thing to happen to music
28. I would rather jump off of a building
29. I would rather shoot myself in the head
30. I would rather give Bob a hug at his smelliest
31. I would rather shake hands with Jesse Jackson
32. I would rather listen to pop music
33. I would rather never ask for help again
34. I would rather go blind
35. I would rather not walk again
36. I would rather give up on being a nice guy
37. I would rather give up watching sports
38. I would rather start reading for fun
39. I would rather give up the Internet
40. I would rather watch every Leonardo Di Caprio movie made 100 times over
41. I would rather watch the news
42. I would rather watch Jay Leno
43. I would rather give up eating
44. I would rather eat dog shit
45. I would rather to never learn anything at all
46. I would rather contract a STD
47. I would rather never try
48. I would rather have surgery with no anesthetics
49. I would rather eat mashed potatoes
50. I would rather be poor, starving, and cold

All these things I would rather do, or have, than to talk about politics... politics to me is the cornerstone that will continually keep our country in the place that it is... If there is ever a day, that this country can ACTUALLY work together to make outsourcing illegal, adoption outside of this country limited, do something about immigration, and actually try to clean up the fucking mess, that is this country, I might consider getting into politics, until then, Ill just watch from afar, and listen to everyones humbled opinion... and cast my ballot of the person less popular... And for those of you who thinks I didn't vote, I did. I let my voice be heard... but, am I a happy voter? Nope. Election Day is the worst day in the world to me... and the 50 reasons I have posted, are the things I would rather do on election day than to talk or hear or think politics... until there is someone worth a damn to run for an office, I don't wanna hear about what that piece of shit you are fallowing, is going to promise me, just to see 4 years later, we are still in the same river of shit, with less money in my pocket.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Brain Scratcher

As I sit here today, as a member of this world, full of thought, free will, danger, stupidity, beauty, ugliness and amazement, I cant bring myself to think or conceive the thought, that man doesn't have something to believe in... As it is, in most cases, a lot of people base there faiths on whats seen... A lot of people base there faith on whats heard. A lot, base there's on whats tried, and a few, regardless of religion, they base there faith on what they felt inside... People are MADE to believe in something... everyone has to have a god of there own... It could be drugs, money, power, sex, music, whatever... We will always be lower than whatever we feel like we need. I am the first to admit, that I definitely love music... I even hold musicians to a higher standard... I could care less about there personal lives, but, that's not my god... My God happens to be this guy named Joshua bar Joseph... Some kid, that came to the world in a very mysterious way, born to the world, that the Magi believed came to the world for a special reason... They read it in the stars... few years later, He claims to be the Son Of God... and to the displeasurement of his own people, wanted Him dead... and paid the price on the cross, that THERE books said, that one day, That that glorious day would happen... They tried to hide the truth, But, the truth was reviled, and He is real. To me, He is the truth... He is what I fallow... but like with anything, that we hold up, we don't do it every day, or listen to it, every day... Just like them, I don't pray every day... I don't go to church, I hate church... I hate hypocritical assholes that claims that they are going to the same place as I... I believe that I'm going to see my Grandma, my cousin, and everyone else that believes like I, again. But, I am flawed, and I accept my flaws... I cuss a lot, I watch porn, I drink a little too much every now and then, and yet, I know that my God still forgives me, he still loves me, and that's the beauty of my faith... he allows me to decide, even when I know whats right and whats wrong. Why would I want to fallow anything else? Music changes! I have so many different favorite sounds, more than one favorite band... Sometimes, the beer is cold, sometimes, its warm, it does the same thing to me, but its not what I need every day. First time this week since Friday, I haven't touched alcohol... Porn, is the same thing over and over and over again... yet, I still come back... different porn stars and wannabes doing the same basic human act, and doing it nastily... but it doesn't satisfy... And even though I cuss like a sailor at times, I can hold my tongue pretty well... But without faith, we are pointless... and to say that you are faithless, you are full of shit... everyone has to have something to believe it... something bigger than them... But, that's brings a question on which, I will close this blog... Whats bigger than you, to you?

Thursday, October 28, 2010


When I heard this band for the first time, it was almost like a day, like today... the rain was subsiding, and yet, another beautiful melody, and song, caught my attention... This weeks song comes from a band known as "The Antlers." I would describe this band, as a band who has a lot of visions through sound... Most of the songs on there album "Hospice," which this weeks song comes from, has lyrics that are very quiet but amazingly strong... All of the songs on the album is a one word title, with maybe 2 or 3 of them having more than one sylable... I was very impressed with this album... To me, its like listening to a dream that you had... something incredible, strange, and wild, yet exciting. Such an adventure... The song off this album, that I picked to be the "Song Of The Week," is the first song, this year, that made my jaw drop... It starts off with hummed vocal tracks holding melody and harmony, as a the song soothes you with a warm feeling, until the lyrics of hurt from relationships, comes into play... And then the instruments come in... But the beautiful part to this song comes after the lyrics "Letting people in." As you hear the beat take like a heart pounding affect, which fits the song so well, after you wake from a dream... Its a beautiful 8 1/2 minute journey, into learning what how to love the ones who claims to love you, and accepting it as well. :) This is DEFINITELY one of my favorite songs, and I am happy to share it with you today... without any further delays, I give you "Wake," Performed by "The Antlers," On there album entitled "Hospice." :) Enjoy

Monday, October 25, 2010

A hug a day...

It's nights like tonight, that makes me so happy that I am the person that I am today... Tonight, I had the blessing of sharing, not only many a laugh and funny moment with my brothers and sisters of the "Deadly Alliance," but I had the privilege to talk, and share, and get deep, with 3 of the most beautiful people, that God allowed me to fall in love with tonight... With a lot of laughs, and a lot of sexual tension there (normal for everyone in the service industry). But it was all in good fun. During the time with the 3 souls, I talked to them about the dichotomy of straight and gay guys, and how they act around, and with straight women... I don't agree that they should get away with touching them, with no penalty, as straight guys do... I don't care of your sexual nature, I don't agree with how certain people get away with doing things... We talked about respect, and we talked about some "what if" sexual things, and then, I dropped a bombshell. They didn't believe me when I told them, I was a virgin, but, its true, and I'M not ashamed... And then, we got into the subject of love for those who doesn't deserve it... like my dad. My relationship with my father, is very strange, and weird... The last time, I saw him, my cousin Valton got married. The relationship, as it is, has been and always, probably be strained, due to lies, dislike, misunderstandings, and just all around stubbornness... As much as I don't like the guy... I love him! He made me... He is the reason why I am alive... I cant deny that, I cant deny God of the blessing of me, being here, cause of him... but, that's how it is... That's where our relationship stands... and Im ok with that... I told my new friends that, and they were just wowed... I can understand there reaction. Who, in the world, would ever say, that they love there father, who, to them, is a dead beat? Thats what God calls me to do... No where in the bible does it says, that I have to like him, or even love him... I do have to honor him, and I ask you... Whats a better way to honor ones father, than just to be? I do honor him, but not embarassing the name that bears my blood, or the name that is given to me... I try not to at least. And as I looked into there eyes, and explained who I was, I can tell, that one of them, was really touched, cause, they were going through the same song and dance act as I was with my shitty sperm donor... The individual, who was absolutely beautiful, was touched, as I found out that they didnt even know there father... This person asked me after I came back from the bathroom "What should I do? Should I try to get to know my father?" And my answer was pretty simple... I told them "If you want to, then do it... but if you dont, its ok..." I can tell that they were touched, as the tears was fought off valiently... But I was trying to be honest with them... And I want to be honest with you as well! If you are looking to repair, mend, or just find a means for a relationship, then go and find them, and just give your peace... if you get emotional, make sure, that you have a cap on it... dont do anything, that will NEVER embarass the name of the one who made you who you are... Be proud of who raised you, and who helped allow you to be birth to this world... After the emotions, and the conversation... the alcohol started to take over, and I won 3 dance battles tonight... dont ask me how, but I did... I was awesome... and I did my thang... I ended up doing push-ups, and yes... I was slightly inibriated. lol And, before, during, and after, the person that was touched the most, was given a hug... not usually a huger, they are, but this person, in my eyes, needed it. And I think, they knew they needed it, although they arent the "touchy feely type." But, smiles, and alcohol can mask pain, but one, who can feel the actual pain, can DEFINITELY fix it... even if a bit. :) Tonight was fun... Tonight was necessary. And tonight, is the reason, I believe that God has me where I am, right now. I am blessed, and I am happy to be the man I am today. :) God knew what He was doing... especially when He had me, and an old friend and 4 new friends, talking about "The Build-A-Bear Male Escort Service." Jonathan, thinks IM playing when I say this, but I am going to make us all rich with that idea... lol Anyways, its time to sleep. Thanks for listening. :) Goodnight.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Take Your Time.

My Uncle, Dr. Billie Ingram, who is a well respected pastor in the Los Angeles area, gave me some great words of encouragement this morning. It was exactly what I needed to hear... If you know me, you know that I never really show any emotions of frustration that often... I have also been told that I dont hide it very well either. lol... Anyways, I try my hardest to be the most patient person I can be... Patience is a virtue, a weight, a burden, a gift, a curse, a mountain, a flight of stairs, a reason to be happy, a reason to be mad, and most importantly, patience is a true emotion. Patience is not something that you can just dial up, and order, and have it at your doorstep in about 45 minutes... Its a life enhancer... As Dr. Ingram puts it:

"In the Bible, patience is not a passive acceptance of circumstances. It is a courageous perseverance in the face of suffering and difficulty; it is an unwillingness to cave in, give up, throw in the towel, surrender or say uncle while under pressure. Immature people are always impatient; mature people are patient and persistent. Impatience and unbelief usually go together, just as faith and patience do. Shalom!"

If there is ever a reason to start the day off great, to start a weekend off right, HELL! To finish out a month, what he says here, is it. Patience is the energy drink to hard work... Hard work gives way to rewards, and completions... if you do everything the right way, dont cut corners, and just wait, what you recieve will be bigger than what you expected... I have made a lot of choices in my life that I hope, and know that one day, will be worth it, and sometimes, it makes me nervous especially in todays society... Todays society is all about the right now, and being in the moment... No one is willing to wait for the ultimate goal of happiness. Everyone wants the persuit of happiness... Patience is the necessary necessity to get us through the day, cause, patience is also the oxygen of faith. Faith is practiced by everyone, every day, every minute... How? Easy... Do you really think about breathing? Do you think about the chair youre sitting in? No? well, thats because, you are practicing faith, that your lungs will function the way they are to, and that the engineer of that chair you are sitting in, know what the hell he was doing... Faith is ultimately, the by product of patience... faithfulness to your Supreme, faithfulness to the ones you love and adore, will give you all you need to be patient. Dealing with those different personalities, laughing at there stupidity, and there crappy ass jokes, helping them through whatever situation, and pain they are facing, telling them the truth about themselves of there current trends, if you can deal with that, you have faith that the friendship will always work... Patience is worth the wait, and that is true. Finding fulfillment in life is worth the wait. :)


this weeks song is a dozy! lol Ive heard this song for the first time at work, and was searching feverishly for who the artist was... So, after about 2 months, I found out who they were, put in a back order at my favorite CD store, and another 2 months later, picked up the album, which is pretty freaking good! The name of the song is called "My Car Is Haunted," performed by The Royal Bangs. Its a song that has a LOT going on with it... theres cowbells, tambourines, computers, keyboards, drums, double-tracked vocals, and a full band... this 5 piece masterpiece, is pretty awesome, and a great band to put on in a DJ set, if he wants to keep the party going. I really don't know what else to say about it, cause, this song speaks for itself. :) So, with no further delays, I give you "My Car Is Haunted." :) Enjoy

Sunday, October 17, 2010


I promise Imma get back to my to my regular thursday spot when it comes to my song of the week, but this week, I have the opportunity to share with you, 2 versions of the same song... I have always loved the blues, and I didnt realize how much the blues has influenced a lot of my favorite artists today... It wasnt until I saw the movie "Cadillac Records," that I started to appreciate the blues and its lasting imprint on music today. This weeks song comes from the original, and from the woman who played the legend in the movie... Etta James is the original bad girl of music... with a broken home, alcohol and drug abuse, and a mouth that will shock the devil himself, you can tell that the pain in every word was real... "I'd Rather Go Blind" is portrayed in the movie as the last song recorded in the presence of the founder of legendary "Chess Records," Lenard Chess, as he decided to give up the recording business, and lead a quiet life with his family... Wasnt able to do it, as he died of a heart attack as he left the studio... But, anyways, this song is song beautifully by both Ms. Etta James, and Beyonce'... You can never go wrong with the original, but the way Beyonce' sings the song, it just adds to what is already beautiful... so, heres what Imma do... I will post both versions of the song, and I hope you enjoy both as I do... Beautifully sung in pain... :) Without further delay, I give you, from Etta James, and Beyonce' Knowles, "I'd Rather Go Blind." Enjoy!

Thursday, October 14, 2010


The most fun I had this year, happened this past weekend. Why this one over any other weekend with friends, and family, and all that good stuff? Because, it was one, long in the making... Me and my friend Powell, have been, for the 2 years that I have worked at Twain's, talking about going to a football game together... and this past weekend, we did such a thing... it was a fun time for sure... we left midday Friday, and got to my grandmothers house that afternoon, in Sumter, South Carolina... After sitting, and talking, and a power nap, it was time to party with my boy, in my hometown... So, after a Friday night full of alcohol, seeing former friends, now current assholes, and laughing and talking, and understanding that I have the worlds most understanding, and loving Grandmother, I got some sleep. Getting up early to try to make it to College Gameday, was DEFINITELY out of the plans... I work up feeling like I got ran over by a push-powered lawnmower... NOT cool... but, I woke up, did everything that i could to satisfy my superstition, then it was off to Williams-Brice Stadium that Saturday... a quick stop by Bojangles, made all the different... although, the alcohol was still swirling around inside, I knew it was going to be a long day, but a great one... After the hours of taking in the sights and sounds of the game day atmosphere of Williams-Brice Stadium, and South Carolina, I just knew that October 9, 2010, was going to be a very special day... after taking Powell, all around Columbia, it was beyond an honor to tell him, "Welcome to Williams-Brice Stadium. Home of the South Carolina Gamecocks." after standing around trying to find a break from the sun, we worked our way--ALL the way up to our seats, where, it was staring to fill up with Alabama Fans... Some of them were cockier, than us Gamecocks about there team, and what not, but for the most part, it was a pleasure to share the say with them... It was a welcomed relief from that bitch back in 2005, who would have gotten me fired, if it wasn't my last week at the job, at the time... Fuck her, and everything she think she is... Anyways, The game was played, and it was magical! The atmosphere, the people, the sounds, everything about it was just what the doctor ordered, and what Emily gave us. :) I cant thank her enough for allowing me and my homeboy Powell to have the weekend to enjoy it all, but, I am truly in debt to her, and it was amazing... After the the game, it was back to Decatur... The ride back was fun, just like the ride up... full of music, and laughs, cause ultimately, its just a game, and I was there to enjoy a great game, with my best homeboy. :) Thanks Powell, for sharing it with me. You rule the world. But, the kicker of the weekend was my friend Davidyals wedding... It was interesting to say the least, cause, outside of what we individually believe, it was something to behold... I finally heard her sing, and it was mesmerizing... It was something I never witnessed, but, glad that I did... I love you Davidyal, although you don't believe, I hope and pray that God above holds you and Brandon together forever. :) It was the greatest weekend ever... Its going to be hard to top, but there are many more weekends for me to enjoy, and I cant wait. :) Moving on...

Sunday, October 10, 2010


This weeks song, comes from Coheed & Cambria... Imma make this short, cause, The song says it all. For those who don't know, I was in South Carolina this weekend, to see The Gamecocks, play The Alabama Crimson Tide, and the end-result was that my Gamecocks defeated the then #1 team in the nation, who has destroyed opponents dating back to the start of the 2008 season... Mark Ingram won The Heisman trophy cause of the rushing day he had against my Gamecocks last year... But between him and Trent Richardson, who's considered the best running back tandem in the nation, were stopped cold for only 64 yards... but with the 7 sacks that my gamecocks had on Greg McElroy that accumulated a loss of 28 yards, the net yardage for there running game, was 34 yards... Amazing... But enough of all the stats... "Here We Are, Juggernaut" was, literally, a song that has been stuck in my head, knowing that will were playing a team that had a 19 game win streak going, and 18 straight conference wins as well... so, this team was huge! Full of talent, full of potential, and there line of work was proof of why they were the #1 team in the nation... And my boys, came in, and took them down. All game long, we just systematically, and artfully took them down, and it was awesome to witness... This song, in the bands eyes, was there take on the fame they have gained over the years they have been together as a band, and how they have persevered through adversity... And to them, fame is the Juggernaut, that they aren't taking for granted... if you have met these guys, you can tell, they do not take fame for granted... very humble, very sweet, nicest guys ever. Honestly! But, just like my Gamecocks, we respected who was coming to our house... We knew who we had to stop, and for 3 hours on October 9th 2010, my Gamecocks took down the juggernaut, that was named, Crimson Tide... :) Here's a health, Carolina! Forever to Thee... Enjoy!

P.S. I lied when I said it was going to be short... oh well, what ya gonna do?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

BIG FAN!: Through the eyes of a big fan Chapter 1.

Maybe I'm maturing beyond my years, maybe I just mellowed out, or maybe, I just don't give as much of a shit, as I use to, but, I think, that my maturity as a fan of sports, has shown itself in more ways than one... I use to allow a loss of my all-time favorite team, to ruin my weekend, or week... but, now, it doesn't even bother me... If they loss, Ill talk about why they did, how they did, or whatever, then, after that, its on to the next game, on to living life. Most fans here in the south, regardless of team they cheer for, allows there week or weekend be made by the actions on a field... All the fans can do is hope, and pray... its on the players if they wanna win or not... They are the ones out there, sweating, and working hard to try to defeat the opponent they are going to see, or coming to see them... They are the ones who determines the outcome of a sport... not God, not any superstitious ritual, regardless of how fun, or helpful, or sad they may be... Me and an older gentlemen, a week ago, had a nice conversation about fandom in all its glory... How, fans now a days, aren't really fans of the sport, but fans of trying to gain nerves and make a jackass of themselves, to appease themselves, there so-called, douche bag friends, and think that they are funny... What ever happened to going to the game, TO ENJOY THE FUCKING GAME?! What happened to just enjoying your team, as they win or loose accordingly... I don't mind people having fun, or drinking, but when they turn into mindless assholes, for the sake of being mindless, or an asshole, that's when, I don't believe or like the fans, or whatever team... Fans are to appreciate the teams they like, have few but semi-non hurtful words for the opponents, who are all fat with egos, cause THEY coached there teams to be that good... yeah... the fuck-tards sitting in the section right beside me, has all the right to cheer on there boys, cause they were there through it all... the recruiting, the home visits, the calls, the weight training, the film study, the meetings in the coaches offices, the checking of the grades... yeah. they were ALL there... that's bullshit... JUST CHEER FOR YOUR TEAM, AND I WILL CHEER FOR MINES, AND AT THE END, WE WILL LIVE LIFE... Until then, do me a favor, sit down, shut the fuck up, and don't touch me. ENJOY THE GAME SIR!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Where faith lies...

Its more evident, moreso now a days, that man, likes to have there faith lie in man, and on the words man says, and not on things that arent seen... With the aligations placed on Bishop Eddie Long, it just goes to show that man, isnt trust-worthy at all... Its easy to believe man, but, is it easy to believe what they try to teach you? Is it worth falling in faith because of one man? Is his teachings worth your soul? Trusting man, without questioning intentions, logic, or even if what they are teaching is vital to life... Man hates to be told what to do, but loves the names that do tell them how to live life. Instead of man just leading us, to do right, and to warn us if we continue to go down the path we are currently traveling, we allow them to rule us... although we may have the freedom in politics, religion, assembly, and what not, we can't break the spell, of our dependence on man, as if they are our best friend... Now, the nature of man, is simple... we want everything, and we dont care who we beat down to get what we want... we always want to do whats wrong, for our own gain, our pleasures, our desires, whatever... Sometimes, we fall for the "love of man" so hard, that we abandon everything that we have been tought from birth... When you sit back and think about it, how many lies did your family tell you? How many secrets have they kept from you? Do you know of the losses before or after you? Do you know the sacrifices that they have done for you? Have they been honest when they told you? Are you sure? So, that kinda puts a bend in the whole love condition dont it? A great speeker, and philosopher said it best when it comes to love. Paraphrased, he said, that, no one knows what true love is, because, we are all conditioned to like, and dislike, certain things... if we were to really love, we would love everything, and everyone equally and without bias... again... its paraphrased, but its an enlightening word from J. Krishnamurti... If man, gets you thinking, and wanting to dig deeper into whatever it is, that they are saying, then its definitely from the heart. The heart, is the last trusted muscle of the human body... And even that, is starting to turn black, just like the hearts of everyone whos been hurt by man, in the many different forms of pain given by mans fears... just keep an eye out for yourself, and question everything.

Friday, October 1, 2010

::incert head-shake here::

Oh Friday nights... The temperature changes for the cool, the kids are running all around the new metal bleachers, and you cant really pay attention to the game, cause, you watch every MTV show happen in front of you, at the game... Tonight, I decided to go and witness a high school football game, for the first time in over 5 years... last time, I did, I was coaching, and left with the feeling of killing a kid or 2... Thank God, I never acted on those feelings, but, the stress, the accidents, and tickets, were enough to allow me to move on from that profession... I love learning what will and will not work for me. :) Easiest way to grow... But tonight, seeing 2 familiar faces, and a bunch of the same things that make me thank God EVERY FUCKING SECOND I am not in high school anymore... But it wasn't all bad. I got to sit down, and enjoy a pretty decent game from 2 pretty decent teams, although the score says otherwise, it was a thoroughly enjoyable game... The Patriots of Mt. Pisgah Christian School, took on the Golden Bears of Holy Innocents High school, and it was good to just see pure football again... the bad calls, the great catches, the hits, the weather, all of it... amazing. But, while talking to the father of one of the kids that I coached at Mt. Pisgah, I was explaining to him, why I hate some of these rules set for high school football... One rule, that I know is prevalent in Georgia is that after the score is separated by 35 points, they allow the clock to run... so, you literally play 12 minutes... And, I don't agree with that... what is the lesson that the kids should learn? Cause that's not sportsmanship... that's bullshit! So, if the score is 35-0 they will just run the clock... I don't like it at all... how are those kids to learn how to tough it out when the world is beating you down? How are you to teach the kids, how to win with grace, and allow your teammates to have a chance to gain experience? I just don't like it at all when rules are made to keep kids from learning how to deal... Maybe about 7 years ago, Georgia made a rule that said, if the state championship game ends in a tie, then it ends in a tie... Reason why they made that rule, is because, as the story goes, a young man, who was a kicker for one of the teams in the championship game, (I don't have the details, but you can probably look it up), missed a game winning or tying field goal, and ended up loosing the game... later that night, committed suicide... so, they made a rule that said, that, if it ends in a tie, its a tie... over one kid who couldn't huff it... really? now, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but seriously!? That is crap... since then, the rule has been revised, but its just not pure football... like, if the ball goes out of the end zone on a kickoff, there is no return possible... its dead, and the ball goes on the 20. so, they cant return it or down it? They just stop the game so they can set it up? but, when its on the one, they can return it? WHAT?! I just don't get it... who are they trying to protect? I mean, they have on pads, and a helmet, totally upwards to 25lbs, not to mention, they a coached to play as safe as possible, so, why not allow the boys to fly around? KIDS ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!! Tell me, when you watch kids, as they run free, they don't get hurt... they bump there heads, get up, and laugh and run again... they fall down stairs, laugh, and get up, just to do it again... they jump off of roofs, with umbrellas, trying to slow there fall, not knowing it wont, and back at it... run into walls, and making breakfast the next morning... so, for these rules are not protecting the kids, they are soaking the mothers worn out vaginas... They are made so they can sleep easier at night... and I think its bullshit... LET THE BOYS PLAY!!! that's all I'M saying...


so yeah... last week, was too long to even think about the blog, but its a new week, and new music has been coming in and out of the record stores on my dime... this weeks song comes from Dave Sitek of TV on the Radio... He stands out in the group, cause, hes the only member that isn't black. HEH! but anyways, his side project is called Maximum Balloon, and its a GREAT album (self titled)! And it starts off strong with this seeks song, which is titled "Groove Me." This song, is exactly what is great about the overall band that is "TV on the Radio." Kyp Malone, has his side project called "Rain Machine." Tunde Adebimpe, is acting, and Dave is making the noise, and honestly, its amazing, that these 3, out of the 5 members of the band, can make such beautiful music together, and separately... With every song featuring a singer from either the band, or from another band... and it blends beautifully with there different talents... so, I highly recommend you picking up this album... but with no further delay, "Groove Me," by Maximum Balloon. Enjoy :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Always in a goddamned marathon...

This week had to be the longest week this side of the year for me... but not only that, this has been a long stretch of time... going back about 3 weeks now, there has been in my world, about 5 different deaths that hasn't affect me directly, but has really affected those in the world, outside of my world... just in 2 weeks, there were 3 deaths has directly affected members of the University of South Carolina football team, the biggest one coming on Monday, when the reception and yards leader, legend, and all around good guy, Kenny McKinley committed suicide... One of our linemen lost his father before Saturdays game against Furman University, and on Sunday Night, C.C. Witlock lost his brother due to gun violence at his hometown of Chester, South Carolina... So, a huge bug known as death has touched the university... a friend of mines went as far to call God an "asshole," When a good friend of his was found dead 2 weekends ago, when the friends parents went to his house... that's sad... But no death is more important than the other... everyone gets affected, who knows the people who are affected... never an easy pill to swallow... When you loose a close family member, or if someone you know looses a family member, its never easy to try to help, cause all you can do is console... last thing anyone who's grieving, is to be given the same day bullshit... what I mean by that, is by being a friend... you know, trying to joke, and be funny... not the time for it... But the best way to honor the dead, regardless of how they died, is to live your life. Just learn the lessons, that are left from there absence, and move on to make your life mean something in there honor... But, like I said, this has been a very long week... Outside of the loss of life, I saw the girl I had a crush on, and her super awesome boyfriend... blah... And I think I'M getting sick... but all in all, I'M still kicking, and life is grand... I still have a job, I still have my health, and I cant complain about anything, except for the fact, that there is nothing to complain about... The lesson I think I was to learn this week is this... Everything has its time and its place... and although you may not agree with God's decision, or whomevers choices, just go with the flow, and you will be surprised, at how big the blessing is at the end of the change... So, keep running... and your Marathon will have an end, when the Good Lord is ready for it to end. :) goodnight.

Friday, September 17, 2010


If anyone knows anything about GOOD music, then you should know the name "Howlin' Wolf." This is one of the many artists that has graced the Chicago Blues scene of the 40's and 50's, and early 60's... He was recorded at the famous Chess Records Studio, where we have gotten the greats, such as Etta James, Little Walter, and of course, Muddy Waters... But what makes Howlin' Wolf stand out, is the fact, that he sounded different... With such a voice, it was made to sing the blues, and This weeks song, doesn't disappoint. Its called "Spoonful," and it talks about how just a little bit of your love, can make the world a better place... its a great song, and, it needs no explanation about the emotion, cause, its the blues! :) So, I want you to feel, and enjoy this weeks song, by Howlin' Wolf, Spoonful. :) Enjoy!

Thursday, September 9, 2010


This weeks song, is the reason that, I should now listen to an ENTIRE album, instead of buying it for just one song... I finally listened to Fiona Apples' album "Extraordinary Machine," from beginning to end, and I found the most emotionally driven, yet subdue song of just taking time out, to think about what really means anything to you, and why things bother you, and what should, and shouldnt bother you... "Red Red Red," Is that song... Talking about how she dosent get complimentary colors, and the importants of diamonds... Its such an intresting, and beautiful song. What makes it the most beautiful, is how subdue, and mellow, she displays the rage. I cant believe that I have had this album for almost a year, and never heard it all the way through... I am glad that I did. Life lesson learned... if you buy it for one song, you will suprise yourself at how good the album is. So, with no further delay, I give you "Red Red Red," by Fiona Apple. enjoy.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


So, as I write this, I think and say this... First impressions are EVERYTHING! Ive made many a mistake that made people think of me as what I'm not... And sometimes, you get that second chance, but its rare... This is all leading up to my first ever Georgia Tech Football Game... This past Saturday was probably THE MOST beautiful day Ive ever witnessed in a long while... It was just beautiful... Georgia Tech was playing The Bulldogs of South Carolina State University. Before the game, it was trying to meet up with family, and say hello, and exchange greetings, and all that good stuff... it was good to see John, Uncle Yank, and Lil Yank, Grandma, Al, Aunt Freida, and it sucks that I missed everyone else that was there, but oh well... Well, before the game, I went on to get into my seat, Section 129, Row 1 Seat 13. warm-ups just beginning, and I'm just sitting there, taking in the beauty of the day, and the stadium. And just before the end of warm-ups, I meet the cutest old couple in the world--The Richardson's... 2 alumni of SCSU, who has been married for years, and was there to cheer on there bulldogs... I was there to cheer on my cousin Yari King #13. So, ultimately, I was cheering for the bulldogs as well... But, in the splendor that is Gold and White, outlined with blue, playing the Garnet cladded, trimmed in Blue, the game wasnt what I was there to really observe... I was there to watch the crowd... Now for those of you who don't know... the majority of all HBCU schools fans are over the age of 60, and most of the time, they sit and watch the game, and dance when the band is playing... That's how its always been... Its not like the major universities of the SEC or the ACC, where you stand all game long... Well, The game started, and after the national anthem, Mr. and Mrs. Richardson sat down to enjoy the game... a little ways into the first quarter, this Asian lady came by to get her seat (section 129, row 1, seat 10), and she not only stood up, but leaned over the wall... to me, it didn't make no never mind... I could move around and make watch the game from either leaning over, OR, turning my head and watching the scoreboard located to my left... But, because, Mrs. Richardson couldn't see the game, she politely asked the Asian lady, if she could sit down so that her and her husband can watch the game, to which the lady said to her: "You know you can either stand up, or you can look at the scoreboard..." Mmhmm... OK, kinda assholish, but slide able... A little later, the same question was asked by Mr. Richardson, to which the lady responded with the same thing... So, after a little bit of game has gone by, the score by this time, I think, is 7-3 GT, the ladies husband comes to claim his seat (section 129, row 1, seat 9) and he commenced with the tradition of standing... Like Ive mentioned before, The Richardson's was well into there 70's and the nicest people in the world... Mrs. Richardson was pretty funny. Something about old people... they always have something funny to say, cause they've been there, and done that. lol And she was very knowledgeable of the game... it was fun. So, back to the story, Mrs. Richardson asked the man to sit down so they can see the game, to which he tried to get big with Mr. Richardson, talking some noise... now, I'm watching this, just making sure that this guy wasn't going to do an asshole move, cause, although I may not know Mr. and Mrs. Richardson, I wasn't going to allow anyone to try to make themselves feel big, by picking on the elderly... luckily, Mr. Richardson, didn't flinch in the slightest... This little man was trying to show that he wasn't scare, but, as the old saying goes "Don't start what you cant finish." And so after this thing, that claimed to be a man, tried to get in Mr. Richardson's face, he had his wife, who was obviously stronger than him, hold him back, and switch seats, so an incident wont go down... after that, it was over... People finally got tired, and started to sit down, and Everyone was able to enjoy the game... All of this should have been avoided... but it wasn't, cause Georgia Tech has made an effort to have fans that will respect there team, and the opponent, and make it a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone, friend or foe... The Gold Standard states:

I pledge to honor and uphold The Gold Standard. I will strive to create a positive environment for my team and fellow fans. I will cheer for Georgia Tech, rather than against the opponent. I will conduct myself in a positive manner, showing respect, responsibility and leadership to Georgia Tech. It's up with the White & Gold...Georgia Tech is out for a victory!

This comes from the official GT athletic website... And, with this being played at the beginning of the game, and on the website, as fans, cheer on there team, regardless, should know what this is, these 2 shit suckers, did not show that initiative at all... So, that did not leave a good impression with me. Another thing that I noticed, that I didn't like, was the way the fans showed there displeasure with the resound that was and is The Marching 101 (SCSUs' marching band)... Because, the fans on the far side of the stadium could not hear there band play, they decided to boo the visiting band, because, they were the only thing that they could really hear... And The Marching 101 was very entertaining in all aspects, from the shiny silver sousaphones, to the passion that they played every note, I enjoyed what I heard... even the same nerds that were pissed off that they decided to go to a blow out and not to the True Blood Q&A at Dragon*Con, doesn't give them the right, to boo a band that clearly outplayed there own band... They are the same ones who was cheering them and applauding them after they played there portion of the halftime show... pretty classless I think. But the kicker was the douche bag frat fags that tried to sneak alcohol into the game, and got caught by there friend, who is campus police officer, were being dicks... the man, by himself, confiscated 8 flasks of alcohol from there fuck holes who wasn't willing to get drunk before, or after the game, and acting a damn fool, saying some pretty fucked up shit to the cheerleaders in front of us... Those pretty ladies, I must say, did a great job, although I wasn't cheering, I was watching there skill, and it was awesome to see how much time, and work they put in. That is commendable for sure. After the game, I said goodbye to the Richardson's, and I hope nothing but happiness for them together, cause, they were so cute and amazing, taking the bullshit from strangers, and its fucked up, that they had to go through that, but, at the end, GT's weaknesses was exposed, and it shows that, regardless of the score, Georgia Tech showed why the ACC sucks, and why SCSU is 4 time MEAC champions. But with all that said, I say this... My first impression with the whole game at Bobby-Dodd Stadium at Historic Grant Field, was one that I wont forget, but hate that I will remember... I was not pleased with any aspect of the fans around me, outside of Kevin... a GT alum who actually had since enough to just enjoy the game. Cool guy... I was not happy at how the fans acted, and it was something that I have learned, to never be around again... I just know that I will not be in that section again, BUT, I will definitely go to another game... but I will be cautious of the people that are around me. Georgia Tech should live up to that Gold Standard... especially those who graduated from there... and goes there, but wants to be the everyday frat fuck... Its embarrassing, and sad, and should be addressed... but I'm just one observant person from one side of the stadium... I don't know how it was elsewhere, but my first time, as fun as it was, was not a good first impression... G.T. (GET your shit TOGETHER tech.). Not to mention the refs mic wasn't working all game... In a school full of engineers, you would think that 1 person, could have had that working properly... STEP YOUR GAME UP GT! So yeah... Saturday was a day that was awesome. Goodnight.