"Well That Was Weird!" Exclaimed the Fish Out of Water.

Weird moods produces weird vibes, which makes the world make me look weird to them... So, when someone looks at me in a weird way, or they act differently around me, I automatically allow it to be my fault. for a long time (25 years or so... be it that I'm only 30, then it can't be that long in comparison), I have always thought that it was my fault that nothing works in my favor... Could it have been something I said? Done? Didn't do? Whatever the case is, I can honestly say that my luck with the human female, probably has run all the way the hell out. Yep. Not to mention, that its only Tuesday! I probably will never be able to find someone who will love me for me, and ya know, that's OK! So what is a single 30 year old to do now? Go out, and find some strange and not give a fuck about who I hurt, as they hurt me? Possibly... How about this... what if I just don't give a shit, and for real this time! I am sick of looking and hoping, and thinking I have found what could be something bigger and better, just to end up writing a blog about it... So, what do I do? How do I allow love to work its way back into my life? Now, what I mean by "love," in this since, I mean, man-woman. I am straight, and that's what I go for. I like women. If I was gay, it may be man-man love... but this is not the case... I guess, I am lacking something to actually make myself appear that attractive to the opposite sex. Maybe I give too much too soon? Maybe I scare them off with my faith? Maybe I check in/up too much/too little? I don't know what is the folly of me, but, it is there, and it has my head thinking about this song:

Yeah... The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it, because it describes PERFECTLY how I feel the world sees me. Be it friend, foe, or the random passer-by, I feel weird, and left out, and always outside of the norm. Not sure if you knew this or not, but I have never been able to take a compliment. Saying nice things to me just don't sit well with me! I feel like saying "Thank you" isn't enough, and then when people continue to go on and on, I just feel uncomfortable. I guess there are some things that I can work on... may be time to find someone to talk to right? Right. 

The celebration, and worship of bullshit.

Sorry I have been away for so long, but, that's what happens when you are doing nothing but working, and going to school... I have tried to make some posts lately, but could not formulate an idea that I that passionate about. I mean, I feel passionate about them still, but could not formulate enough of them, for a blog, for example: I do not want to have sex, ever... Reason why, because its not special anymore. it has no purpose in the times of today, as ridiculous as that sounds, that's how I feel... But we will see if that will last (probably not)... I also wanted to say something to the affect of how its like gays are being treated like those with autism. I have plenty of gay friends, and I love them to death. however, I'm not going to treat them any differently because of their sexual preferences... And its sad and embarrassing to see that they are being treated so differently because of that. I don't like it. that's just me personally, but that's not what this blog is all about... And the last subject that I was pretty passionate about, but could not formulate a blog around was (yet again) the gratuitous use of any variation of the word "nigger." Joke, serious, or for scene, its not a good look, and I will stand by my beliefs. I am not perfect, so I will not claim that I do not use the word, but I do my best not to for any reason... If I do end up being a screenwriter, all my movies will not have that word in them, that is how strongly I hate that word as a black man... talk to me 10-15 years ago, I would have felt differently, but, in that time, I have matured, and I don't like to use any word that brings down a group of people. That is how I operate, and If you don't like it, move along...

This blog is honestly about the treatment of people because of their mistakes. As we all know, the verdict came in for the boys involved in the Steubenville, Ohio rape, where a passed out drunk girl was taken advantage of sexually by 2 boys, during a party. The sad thing about this whole story is, that if it wasn't filmed, I can guarantee you that it would be a different story IF IT WAS NOT FILMED! Yeah! teenagers today, have technology, and because of technology, ANYTHING, anywhere can be filmed, or captured in that moment... So yeah, unfortunately for these boys, it was captured, and now they are in trouble... How much trouble? Well, after they were found guilty, they started to cry like scared little girls... then they were sentenced to 1 year in jail... 1 year... in jail... Really... 1 year in jail for rape. Not possession, not involuntary  manslaughter... no... 1 year in jail for rape. RAPE! You know, forcing yourself upon someone in a sexual manner, rape... Yeah. 2 17 year old boys are serving 1 year in jail for rape, while there are 14 year old kids who kill someone, get tried as an adult, and is then put in juvenile detention center, until they turn 18... Thats fucked up!

I don't know how the system works in Ohio, but, apparently, the athlete comes before the victim, and before academics...  According to CNN, these boys are the victims! Watch.

Well, we all know how CNN feels... And its a mutual feeling along the media front... That these boys are the victims... Not the girl who was drunk and got raped. No! She was passed out! How could she have been a victim, right? But no... These boys were "promising students!"  This verdict "laments a promising football career!" So sad (not really)... What about the girl? Did anyone tried to reach out to her? Did anyone try to ask her how she felt? How she feels? Nope! They were concerned about these boys, who knew better. You cant sit there and tell me that not one 16 year old don't know the difference between right and wrong. Even an autistic child at that age knows the difference between right and wrong!!! There is NO EXCUSE of why these boys are being looked at as "victim of circumstance." Fuck that noise! These boys need to be punished worse than 1 year in jail... they need to be in jail for 20 years, with no way of finishing their education, or trying to better themselves as athletes. They lost that privilege. So, I hope they rot... I would hope something else, but I DO believe that EVERYONE deserves a second chance, and I DO hope that they learn from this, and actually become productive in some way, in life, no matter how I may feel at this time...

But outside of these boys, who actually deserves the blame? The girl? nope... The party? nope... The blame should lie, solely, and honestly on the neglectful parents who didn't do anything to try to prevent these teens from doing what they did... I don't give a shit how country, or how far in the stick your town is, if you are breaking the law, YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW! Either way, this could have been prevented if parents were present, and actually kept some sort of control over all this... I could blame the movies, TV, and what have you, but, the fault of this whole thing lies on the parents, and their neglect to raise their kids... They were being kid owners, and not parents, as explained by this comedian.

Yeah... Those "KID OWNERS" allowed that bullshit to happen, and now lives are ruined, and the media sympathizes with the boys and not the girl... assholes... But, again, EVERYONE deserves a second chance, even the kid in Newtown, I think, deserved a second chance, if he was alive... That's how I feel. But right now, the punishment does not fit the crime, and I believe that everyone from the judge, to the media has fucked up royally! This is sad, and a travesty, and a mockery of the difference between right and wrong, and it NEEDS to be corrected. JMO.