Thursday, September 23, 2010

Always in a goddamned marathon...

This week had to be the longest week this side of the year for me... but not only that, this has been a long stretch of time... going back about 3 weeks now, there has been in my world, about 5 different deaths that hasn't affect me directly, but has really affected those in the world, outside of my world... just in 2 weeks, there were 3 deaths has directly affected members of the University of South Carolina football team, the biggest one coming on Monday, when the reception and yards leader, legend, and all around good guy, Kenny McKinley committed suicide... One of our linemen lost his father before Saturdays game against Furman University, and on Sunday Night, C.C. Witlock lost his brother due to gun violence at his hometown of Chester, South Carolina... So, a huge bug known as death has touched the university... a friend of mines went as far to call God an "asshole," When a good friend of his was found dead 2 weekends ago, when the friends parents went to his house... that's sad... But no death is more important than the other... everyone gets affected, who knows the people who are affected... never an easy pill to swallow... When you loose a close family member, or if someone you know looses a family member, its never easy to try to help, cause all you can do is console... last thing anyone who's grieving, is to be given the same day bullshit... what I mean by that, is by being a friend... you know, trying to joke, and be funny... not the time for it... But the best way to honor the dead, regardless of how they died, is to live your life. Just learn the lessons, that are left from there absence, and move on to make your life mean something in there honor... But, like I said, this has been a very long week... Outside of the loss of life, I saw the girl I had a crush on, and her super awesome boyfriend... blah... And I think I'M getting sick... but all in all, I'M still kicking, and life is grand... I still have a job, I still have my health, and I cant complain about anything, except for the fact, that there is nothing to complain about... The lesson I think I was to learn this week is this... Everything has its time and its place... and although you may not agree with God's decision, or whomevers choices, just go with the flow, and you will be surprised, at how big the blessing is at the end of the change... So, keep running... and your Marathon will have an end, when the Good Lord is ready for it to end. :) goodnight.

Friday, September 17, 2010


If anyone knows anything about GOOD music, then you should know the name "Howlin' Wolf." This is one of the many artists that has graced the Chicago Blues scene of the 40's and 50's, and early 60's... He was recorded at the famous Chess Records Studio, where we have gotten the greats, such as Etta James, Little Walter, and of course, Muddy Waters... But what makes Howlin' Wolf stand out, is the fact, that he sounded different... With such a voice, it was made to sing the blues, and This weeks song, doesn't disappoint. Its called "Spoonful," and it talks about how just a little bit of your love, can make the world a better place... its a great song, and, it needs no explanation about the emotion, cause, its the blues! :) So, I want you to feel, and enjoy this weeks song, by Howlin' Wolf, Spoonful. :) Enjoy!

Thursday, September 9, 2010


This weeks song, is the reason that, I should now listen to an ENTIRE album, instead of buying it for just one song... I finally listened to Fiona Apples' album "Extraordinary Machine," from beginning to end, and I found the most emotionally driven, yet subdue song of just taking time out, to think about what really means anything to you, and why things bother you, and what should, and shouldnt bother you... "Red Red Red," Is that song... Talking about how she dosent get complimentary colors, and the importants of diamonds... Its such an intresting, and beautiful song. What makes it the most beautiful, is how subdue, and mellow, she displays the rage. I cant believe that I have had this album for almost a year, and never heard it all the way through... I am glad that I did. Life lesson learned... if you buy it for one song, you will suprise yourself at how good the album is. So, with no further delay, I give you "Red Red Red," by Fiona Apple. enjoy.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


So, as I write this, I think and say this... First impressions are EVERYTHING! Ive made many a mistake that made people think of me as what I'm not... And sometimes, you get that second chance, but its rare... This is all leading up to my first ever Georgia Tech Football Game... This past Saturday was probably THE MOST beautiful day Ive ever witnessed in a long while... It was just beautiful... Georgia Tech was playing The Bulldogs of South Carolina State University. Before the game, it was trying to meet up with family, and say hello, and exchange greetings, and all that good stuff... it was good to see John, Uncle Yank, and Lil Yank, Grandma, Al, Aunt Freida, and it sucks that I missed everyone else that was there, but oh well... Well, before the game, I went on to get into my seat, Section 129, Row 1 Seat 13. warm-ups just beginning, and I'm just sitting there, taking in the beauty of the day, and the stadium. And just before the end of warm-ups, I meet the cutest old couple in the world--The Richardson's... 2 alumni of SCSU, who has been married for years, and was there to cheer on there bulldogs... I was there to cheer on my cousin Yari King #13. So, ultimately, I was cheering for the bulldogs as well... But, in the splendor that is Gold and White, outlined with blue, playing the Garnet cladded, trimmed in Blue, the game wasnt what I was there to really observe... I was there to watch the crowd... Now for those of you who don't know... the majority of all HBCU schools fans are over the age of 60, and most of the time, they sit and watch the game, and dance when the band is playing... That's how its always been... Its not like the major universities of the SEC or the ACC, where you stand all game long... Well, The game started, and after the national anthem, Mr. and Mrs. Richardson sat down to enjoy the game... a little ways into the first quarter, this Asian lady came by to get her seat (section 129, row 1, seat 10), and she not only stood up, but leaned over the wall... to me, it didn't make no never mind... I could move around and make watch the game from either leaning over, OR, turning my head and watching the scoreboard located to my left... But, because, Mrs. Richardson couldn't see the game, she politely asked the Asian lady, if she could sit down so that her and her husband can watch the game, to which the lady said to her: "You know you can either stand up, or you can look at the scoreboard..." Mmhmm... OK, kinda assholish, but slide able... A little later, the same question was asked by Mr. Richardson, to which the lady responded with the same thing... So, after a little bit of game has gone by, the score by this time, I think, is 7-3 GT, the ladies husband comes to claim his seat (section 129, row 1, seat 9) and he commenced with the tradition of standing... Like Ive mentioned before, The Richardson's was well into there 70's and the nicest people in the world... Mrs. Richardson was pretty funny. Something about old people... they always have something funny to say, cause they've been there, and done that. lol And she was very knowledgeable of the game... it was fun. So, back to the story, Mrs. Richardson asked the man to sit down so they can see the game, to which he tried to get big with Mr. Richardson, talking some noise... now, I'm watching this, just making sure that this guy wasn't going to do an asshole move, cause, although I may not know Mr. and Mrs. Richardson, I wasn't going to allow anyone to try to make themselves feel big, by picking on the elderly... luckily, Mr. Richardson, didn't flinch in the slightest... This little man was trying to show that he wasn't scare, but, as the old saying goes "Don't start what you cant finish." And so after this thing, that claimed to be a man, tried to get in Mr. Richardson's face, he had his wife, who was obviously stronger than him, hold him back, and switch seats, so an incident wont go down... after that, it was over... People finally got tired, and started to sit down, and Everyone was able to enjoy the game... All of this should have been avoided... but it wasn't, cause Georgia Tech has made an effort to have fans that will respect there team, and the opponent, and make it a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone, friend or foe... The Gold Standard states:

I pledge to honor and uphold The Gold Standard. I will strive to create a positive environment for my team and fellow fans. I will cheer for Georgia Tech, rather than against the opponent. I will conduct myself in a positive manner, showing respect, responsibility and leadership to Georgia Tech. It's up with the White & Gold...Georgia Tech is out for a victory!

This comes from the official GT athletic website... And, with this being played at the beginning of the game, and on the website, as fans, cheer on there team, regardless, should know what this is, these 2 shit suckers, did not show that initiative at all... So, that did not leave a good impression with me. Another thing that I noticed, that I didn't like, was the way the fans showed there displeasure with the resound that was and is The Marching 101 (SCSUs' marching band)... Because, the fans on the far side of the stadium could not hear there band play, they decided to boo the visiting band, because, they were the only thing that they could really hear... And The Marching 101 was very entertaining in all aspects, from the shiny silver sousaphones, to the passion that they played every note, I enjoyed what I heard... even the same nerds that were pissed off that they decided to go to a blow out and not to the True Blood Q&A at Dragon*Con, doesn't give them the right, to boo a band that clearly outplayed there own band... They are the same ones who was cheering them and applauding them after they played there portion of the halftime show... pretty classless I think. But the kicker was the douche bag frat fags that tried to sneak alcohol into the game, and got caught by there friend, who is campus police officer, were being dicks... the man, by himself, confiscated 8 flasks of alcohol from there fuck holes who wasn't willing to get drunk before, or after the game, and acting a damn fool, saying some pretty fucked up shit to the cheerleaders in front of us... Those pretty ladies, I must say, did a great job, although I wasn't cheering, I was watching there skill, and it was awesome to see how much time, and work they put in. That is commendable for sure. After the game, I said goodbye to the Richardson's, and I hope nothing but happiness for them together, cause, they were so cute and amazing, taking the bullshit from strangers, and its fucked up, that they had to go through that, but, at the end, GT's weaknesses was exposed, and it shows that, regardless of the score, Georgia Tech showed why the ACC sucks, and why SCSU is 4 time MEAC champions. But with all that said, I say this... My first impression with the whole game at Bobby-Dodd Stadium at Historic Grant Field, was one that I wont forget, but hate that I will remember... I was not pleased with any aspect of the fans around me, outside of Kevin... a GT alum who actually had since enough to just enjoy the game. Cool guy... I was not happy at how the fans acted, and it was something that I have learned, to never be around again... I just know that I will not be in that section again, BUT, I will definitely go to another game... but I will be cautious of the people that are around me. Georgia Tech should live up to that Gold Standard... especially those who graduated from there... and goes there, but wants to be the everyday frat fuck... Its embarrassing, and sad, and should be addressed... but I'm just one observant person from one side of the stadium... I don't know how it was elsewhere, but my first time, as fun as it was, was not a good first impression... G.T. (GET your shit TOGETHER tech.). Not to mention the refs mic wasn't working all game... In a school full of engineers, you would think that 1 person, could have had that working properly... STEP YOUR GAME UP GT! So yeah... Saturday was a day that was awesome. Goodnight.

Getting it all out

Well, here I am again... up, awake, big day ahead tomorrow, and I am having, yet, another time in life, where I have to shut up the world around me, and figure up what the fuck do I want, and who the fuck am I... What I want is to be better than what I am not... I want to be bigger than what I am, but, I feel as if I am trapped, again... Im in my own prison, that I built for me... I dont think that I am made to be happy... I am to give happiness, but never to be happy... 27 years old, single, always putting dreams in the slow lane, abandoning promises, just nothing going the way I would have imagined it... All the hard work feels as if its all for nothing, but somehow super satisfying, cause, I worked HARD for it... But all in all, all the work I do, and all the happiness I give, leaves me here blogging about how unhappy I am... The title of this blogsite, that I created is "EVERY THOUGHT MUST GO!!!" I named it that, because, I wanted to get my thoughts out, without consiquence from anyone... I can say whatever the fuck I want, and I dont have to conform to anyones ideas, but mines... Anyways, What am I doing to make my world better? What am I doing to try to make myself happy? Not a lot unfortunately... Im just going through the motions, and living up to the expectations that people have given me, without my notice, all the while, trying to hold that position on top of the pedistal that Ive been placed... its weird... but it is what it is... Even in faith, Im not happy... I have abandoned the basics... I rarely pray, I dont read the bible, not only because I hate reading, but because, I just dont want to read it... I hate ANYTHING that contains the word "church," and Im content in my relationship with Jesus Christ, My Savior. But, this weight that has been given to me, is becoming a bit too much, and Im not sure, how much more of this shit, I can take... Is it worth abandoning, everything that everyone hopes of me? Is it worth scratching away the memories of the places, people, and times, that drew smiles across my face, just to start from right now, and make sure that shit is great for me, and my sanity, and myself? It may be... But unfortunately, yet fortunately, I will never be able to find that delete button in this life time, to start over... cause, although, Im in a bad spot now, tomorrow is a gift, that I HAVE to charish... regardless of how I may feel... cause, who knows if the next tomorrow is mines or not... So, although I bitch, I am happy to hvae the ability to feel... I am able to feel rejection, hesitation, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, lonliness, and to pass on the same... Things will change... even if I have to change it myself, so be it... until then, congratulations to you, and your persuits... May the nice guy never find joy...

Thursday, September 2, 2010


This weeks song comes from one of my favorite new bands... Ive known about these guys for nearly 2 years now, and oh my lord, I have been blessed again with there talents... I revealed a song a while ago from these guys called "Active." And I think they topped that with one of there latest release called "Mandatory." This song is warm. Yes, warm! Its a beautiful song, that basically talks about the work that it takes to maintain the love of those who we love. Its a great song with a melody that will make you smile. I recently saw the video, and I was just wowed... This song comes from The Five One. The Five One is a band based out of the D.C. area, and is the true definition of beauty, and uniqueness... There names are RED, BLUE, GREEN, and GOLD... If you ask them for there real names, they will tell you, RED, BLUE, GREEN, and GOLD! They are colors. They live, eat, breathe, there colors, and that's who they are, cause as BLUE says, "People die, but COLORS lasts forever." Pretty true. Good guys who loves to play, make, and create music. I am thoroughly amazed at what they have produced in the years they have been painting towns. And, last night, I got the blessing to share with you this beautiful made song. Again, I guarantee that you WILL smile. Such a great song, with a great message... work at what makes you love. That's what I take from it. And without further ado... From The Five One, "Mandatory." enjoy :)

Sometimes, all you can do is shake your head.

How does one find the means or the worth to respect a drug dealer? Why would someone want to celebrate the life of someone who has taken so many? I dont see the greatness in a low life that profits off of feeding someone there death mean, through whatever drug, that one may need to feel good... After hearing a song by "Rick Ross" called "BMF (Blowin' Money Fast)" And the first line of the chorus is "I think I'm Big Meech, Larry Hoover..." After hearing this, I had to look up who the fuck these people are... Turns out, both of them are, not only in jail for multiple crimes dealing with murder, drugs, and what not, but, they were the big names, in the American drug cartels that is killing people all over the southeast. And for someone to say, that they think they are Big Meech and Larry Hoover, has nothing to really strive for... Its easy to say, its only a song and lyrics, yeah... But is it just lyrics? Is it just a song? Does anyone really wanna end up behind bars or in a box, over trying to get money, from people who depends on there master to serve them there small portion to feel alive? I dont think so... I dont know whats the worth of finding favor in the lowest form of creation, but ya know? I am not one to judge... however, I think everyone can strive to find someone a little bit better than someone who is in jail. But whoever you look up to, make sure they are out of jail at least... I know it may seem im all over the place in this blog, but I dont care... its late, im tired, and excited, and my superstitons is turning me super nervous right now, so, if its all over the place, then im sorry, but i will close with this... any black man who finds it necessary to profit off the sickness of others, and wants to feed that sickness for the gain of money, is scum, and needs to be shot. Thats all. going to bed now.