Monday, October 25, 2010

A hug a day...

It's nights like tonight, that makes me so happy that I am the person that I am today... Tonight, I had the blessing of sharing, not only many a laugh and funny moment with my brothers and sisters of the "Deadly Alliance," but I had the privilege to talk, and share, and get deep, with 3 of the most beautiful people, that God allowed me to fall in love with tonight... With a lot of laughs, and a lot of sexual tension there (normal for everyone in the service industry). But it was all in good fun. During the time with the 3 souls, I talked to them about the dichotomy of straight and gay guys, and how they act around, and with straight women... I don't agree that they should get away with touching them, with no penalty, as straight guys do... I don't care of your sexual nature, I don't agree with how certain people get away with doing things... We talked about respect, and we talked about some "what if" sexual things, and then, I dropped a bombshell. They didn't believe me when I told them, I was a virgin, but, its true, and I'M not ashamed... And then, we got into the subject of love for those who doesn't deserve it... like my dad. My relationship with my father, is very strange, and weird... The last time, I saw him, my cousin Valton got married. The relationship, as it is, has been and always, probably be strained, due to lies, dislike, misunderstandings, and just all around stubbornness... As much as I don't like the guy... I love him! He made me... He is the reason why I am alive... I cant deny that, I cant deny God of the blessing of me, being here, cause of him... but, that's how it is... That's where our relationship stands... and Im ok with that... I told my new friends that, and they were just wowed... I can understand there reaction. Who, in the world, would ever say, that they love there father, who, to them, is a dead beat? Thats what God calls me to do... No where in the bible does it says, that I have to like him, or even love him... I do have to honor him, and I ask you... Whats a better way to honor ones father, than just to be? I do honor him, but not embarassing the name that bears my blood, or the name that is given to me... I try not to at least. And as I looked into there eyes, and explained who I was, I can tell, that one of them, was really touched, cause, they were going through the same song and dance act as I was with my shitty sperm donor... The individual, who was absolutely beautiful, was touched, as I found out that they didnt even know there father... This person asked me after I came back from the bathroom "What should I do? Should I try to get to know my father?" And my answer was pretty simple... I told them "If you want to, then do it... but if you dont, its ok..." I can tell that they were touched, as the tears was fought off valiently... But I was trying to be honest with them... And I want to be honest with you as well! If you are looking to repair, mend, or just find a means for a relationship, then go and find them, and just give your peace... if you get emotional, make sure, that you have a cap on it... dont do anything, that will NEVER embarass the name of the one who made you who you are... Be proud of who raised you, and who helped allow you to be birth to this world... After the emotions, and the conversation... the alcohol started to take over, and I won 3 dance battles tonight... dont ask me how, but I did... I was awesome... and I did my thang... I ended up doing push-ups, and yes... I was slightly inibriated. lol And, before, during, and after, the person that was touched the most, was given a hug... not usually a huger, they are, but this person, in my eyes, needed it. And I think, they knew they needed it, although they arent the "touchy feely type." But, smiles, and alcohol can mask pain, but one, who can feel the actual pain, can DEFINITELY fix it... even if a bit. :) Tonight was fun... Tonight was necessary. And tonight, is the reason, I believe that God has me where I am, right now. I am blessed, and I am happy to be the man I am today. :) God knew what He was doing... especially when He had me, and an old friend and 4 new friends, talking about "The Build-A-Bear Male Escort Service." Jonathan, thinks IM playing when I say this, but I am going to make us all rich with that idea... lol Anyways, its time to sleep. Thanks for listening. :) Goodnight.

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