What Is The Right Hand Doing?

Tricks and illusions. We all fall for the lies presented to us every day... Last year, early fall, there was a woman standing on a street corner, with a baby in a stroller, and a sign that said "Homeless, hungry, and with child, please help, God bless." Now, I have lived in this city so long that I have seen the tricks from low lives, trying to capitalize off of hard working 9 to 5'ers. However, this one, I was willing to fall for. Do I know how it ended up for that young lady? Nope. I do hope that it worked out for her, even if it wasn't true.

Tonight, while at dinner with my friend Rachel, she was in the mood for war. Behind her in the next booth, there were some mid-20 somethings that were being really loud for no apparent reason. Watching her face would have been the price of admission for your favorite concert. It was amazing! But she was visibly uncomfortable with all their loudness behind her. They ended up leaving a short time later, but then her attention went to the bar, and she was watching your a-typical doucher talk to some girl who was drunk... She was telling me what was going on, because my angle was blocked by a few heads at the end of the bar we were sitting. Apparently Doucher McAsshole was groping Suzzie Loosepanties. He then put something down her shirt, and that is where Rachel really got uncomfortable. She was already ready to fight, but I talked her off the ledge. It was entertaining to watch. 

So after the encounter she witnessed, she asked: "Why do we fall for the assholes?" Talking about girls, clearly. I said, its because y'all fall for their tricks! The bad guy always gets the pretty girl, because they just know how to play the game, and you are willing to play it. Simple. The reason why guys like Doucher McAsshole gets the pretty, tall, big titted, big ass girl with the great smile and hair is because, she fell for the tricks. The same can happen to guys as well... Girls are just as big of a player than guys. Girls are just as heartless when it comes to things like getting what you want for the night.Girls can flirt relentlessly for just a drink. And as soon as you go in for a kiss, or something, said girl suddenly sobers up, and leaves with her bitch friends...  It is not all men, and its not all women, but the majority of the minority makes it so entertaining, and maddening to watch them take advantage of each other. But, this is why we fall in love with magicians.

To keep from falling for the tricks, the easiest thing to do is to just know where you are, know who you are with, and its ok to say no, and its for damn sure ok to walk away. You know what else is ok? Literally going out to have a good time. No one will ever fault you for hanging out with no one but yourself. Speaking of, I was pleasantly surprised on Saturday to see as many friends as I did at the Classixx show. It was amazing, and I saw one of my favorite up and coming bands "GEMS." I had such a good time. As long as my week has been (Going off subject and just bullshitting right now... bear with me), my body had my back... My body said to me "Dude... cut loose, and drink the night away... you earned it, and you deserve it." I put them down!!! It was AWESOME, and I left with new friends, and respect for musicians. GREAT time was had... I said all of that to say this... Go out and have a great time by yourself every now and then. You'd be surprised who will show up. So, instead of trying to get someone to sleep with you, or dance with your friend to get attention from a guy... just have fun! Life is too short to do so much  peacocking to get 5 mins of attention. 

Night

That One Moment...

For someone who does not believe in love, why is sex something he cherishes? Not too sure of why, but What happened last night was nothing short of a miracle... Last night, I went to a concert. I saw the band, "St. Vincent" play at The Tabernacle. It was amazing! I wish I saw her more than once when she came through town, but, I am glad that I finally got to see such an amazing guitarist, a very funny young lady, and someone who just has talent oozing out of those dreamy eyes of hers. Probably the hottest woman in music. Seriously! But I digress... At the end of the show, and with a fight with the asshole sound guy to get the set list, to which the light lady, give me hers, I was heading to the exit when a 5 foot something, brunette girl started talking to me. She needed my help to find her friend Natasha.

She described Natasha as a "Jamaican girl, with Jamaican hair, black skin, wearing a brown shirt, and black boots, and has Chinese eyes." And as we stood there... I actually stood there, and she wobbled... She was 5772 sheets to the wind... I was told that the earlier expression that I heard/said was wrong, so now I just make it up! But yeah... anyways, after she called for Natasha, we walked down to the front of the building. She grabbed my arm, and we waited out front for a second. She then said: "Can you walk me to my hotel, its right there, and Natasha would probably be into you, blah blah blah." Mind you, I am more sober than a pole. I did not have any alcohol. "We have champagne, and weed, and you could have your way with me, or her... I don't know what you're into." Yeah, shes giving me all the signs that she was willing to get any she could... She's a very attractive young lady as well.

Anyways, we walk pass the building and I offer her a ride to the hotel, but, she wanted to walk. and just before we got to the car, we witnessed an accident in the parking lot... she was trying to run away by climbing over the fence where the buses were. I talked her down and saved the security guy a lot of walking. We waited for a little while, when her bladder started to give her problems, so we walked to the hotel. I carried her a little bit, threshold style, but, she wanted a piggy back ride... That wouldn't have worked, because she was wearing a little black dress, and she was stumbling in heels. We missed a turn, but after we got her back, we finally made it to the hotel, and after a little fight with the technology, she got into the bathroom with no more issues... Or at least I thought...

So after she used the restroom, she bumped and banged around a bit in there... What do you expect with a drunk girl? She came out, and she got in the bed... I went and sat in the opposite bed... While I was there, she looked at me, and in that toothy grin of hers, she said, come closer... I switched from the opposite bed, to hers... she said, "closer!" To where I leaned in... She then asked me to "caress" her. If there was ever a more obvious sign that a girl wanted to have an added moment of bad judgement, this was it... So I obliged... I caressed her, by running my finger down her arm like I was turning off a switch. I knew that wasn't what she wanted, but I was not going to take advantage of someone who is from out of town, and drunk off her ass... So after a little about a minute or so, she says "I'll be back." She got up, walked to the bathroom, fell, and was lifeless... Right now, it doesn't look good, especially with her roommates coming in at any time... she passed out. so, I took her "77 lbs." body and moved it to the bed, talking to her to get some sort of response... I have dealt with something like this before... I finally got her to squeeze my hand, and she finally came back, with that look of death... You know, the look that things aren't staying where they are suppose to? Yeah, she was about to have a "reversal of fortune." I got her in the bathroom, and she decided to hang over the tub. I helped with her hair, and rubbed her back, as she was finishing up, I hear the door being played with. Thank GOD her friends showed up.

I open the door, and explained everything to the 3 friends that came in. They were grateful. Natasha is a very beautiful "Jamaican girl, with Jamaican hair, black skin, wearing a brown shirt, and black boots, and has Chinese eyes." So, after intros, and handshakes, and seeing that my new friend was in good hands, I was about to head out, when she asked me for a hug. to where I ended up threshold carrying her again and she kissed my cheek, I kissed hers, and she then said "Will you make out with me?" I politely declined. :) She was drinking water but, yeah, it was evident that she was beyond gone. I sat her down, and she started to lean back, and that floor would not make that headache in the morning feel any better if I did not catch her head, as she came down. Not only was I a gentleman, I saved a life, and the least I hope is that she appreciates me, even if she forgot that entire night. I said good-bye, and wished them all safe travels, and I went out, and had a few drinks to celebrate the fact that I am a mature man who knows right from wrong...

Things like that can test your ability to be a gentleman or an asshole... I can't say that the results would have been the same if I was drunk as well, but, I know that I didn't want to cause any more stress than she was probably feeling, due to a recent break-up. If I caressed her like she asked, that would have been a temporary solution to a bigger issue that she may have been facing. I do hope that she is ok, and will get better from this. Whoever said nice guys finished last, was CLEARLY thinking with their dick... Cause, I feel that I did something that may be paid forward one day. Not looking for a reward, just that I hope my actions goes far.

We Require A Blood Sample

Call me crazy, but, I think I have passed the want/need for love. A guy like me will probably never fall in love. Love is something that is always wanted, but always rejected. Now a days, there are so many hoops that a man has to go through to just be able to talk to a young lady... You have to be tall, dark, and handsome, you have to have a big dick, muscular, have a job, a place of your own, you own car, and be drama free, disease free, and drug free. Gotta love kids, gotta be family oriented, believe in God, and most importantly, you gotta be willing to work for a relationship that will possibly lead to marriage.

There are so much limitations of what you are suppose to look like, and have, that no one wants to love, just because. I honestly wonder how many good young men are left out in the cold, because they aren't anything that superficial TV watching bitches wants. Well, I know that I could be the greatest thing going. I'm working on myself, and slowly trying to improve... I'm 31, and doing my best to finish school, and start my career as either an editor or writer. So,  its just as impossible to just be a nice guy and try to get a nice girl. Some of these nice girls like to act as if they can control a bad boy, and before you know it, they are running back to you, crying about why "he" doesn't love them, or pays attention...

So, I just gave up! I know I have talked about it before, but now, I can honestly say, that I am done with the idea of dating. There are no women out there that knows what they want. Its nothing but girls out there with what they think is an idea of what they want in a "Boi." They don't want men, they want a boy that they can train... Perfect example: There is this young lady that I know from a seasonal gig I work... One night, the tour guide was always the last one through the door, a lot later than usual... Cause as a guide, you have to stay with the group. But this one kid, was always coming in, and going through the secret door to catch up with his group. Come to find out, the girl in the room before mines, was holding him up to just make out with him... The kid was 18, and she is 24... I confronted her and said "You gotta make him keep up with his group.... And she did this practically all night... We talked, of course as friends, and in the talks about it, she mentioned that you gotta find someone you can train... Makes since, I guess? But why are you allowing a group to fuck around, because you wanna make out with some... boy? Things I will NEVER get...

So, I just sit here gladly single... Do I believe in love? I do! Hell! We would not be here if it wasn't for either love or lust, right? Do I believe in love today? Well, with all the limitations that comes with what is considered for love... I can say, I don't. It can be hard to find someone. It can be even harder to put yourself out there for the D.A.P.S (dog and pony show). to make yourself available... But, all in all, the people who are out there that are looking for something real, are out there... The real question is, how willing am I to take myself out of my comfort zone and look for this person? I don't know if she is worth the search anymore... That's all. Sorry about the long pause... Life has been crazy!