Friday, March 26, 2010

The Mirror Is Unforgivingly Honest

Lately I have been coming to the grim reality that life never gives you anything you want... No matter how much you wanna deny yourself whatever it is, you will get stuck in the rut of life... It sucks that life gives you all these colors, but it never teaches you how to touch it. And lately, I have been trying to figure out how the fuck I am to make my color... I have, within a 48 hour spance, LITERALLY just went (for lack of a better term) dead. Seriously, its like I dont even have a reason to even dream anymore, for some reason. I never thought that I would be sitting here, still here.... This shit gets old very quick to be honest with you, this whole overthinking, this lack of some sort of self esteem, self love, self motivation, whatever you wanna call it... Its just feels like its the end... Now, before you start panicing and calling for an intervention, trust me, its not a suicide note. lol... So PLEASE, with all do respect, dont think that, just know that I am down. So dont worry. Back to the point, its just getting old that Im still here, and there is no way that I will move, and you know what? I dont want this anymore... But I dont know where to go first... I dont know what step one is... And being in the mood that im currently in, doesnt make it easier to say "fuck it" and jump to it. I knew, know, and understand that life is never easy... And right now its just another step to which, I have to battle through again. But, being in this right now, begs the question... if I was on the other side of the tracks, to where, I did have life the way I wanted it, would I be in the same boat? Would I sit here mopeing around about how I wish I didnt do whatever before the time came to where I am? Its definitely an open-ended question, but its still no escape... Its said in the bible, that God cursed the ground to where man has to work hard for everything... And, I'm just wondering how much harder do I have to work to get my peace of mind ya know? Would it be wrong to take a break, just to figure out some things about who I am or am not? Isnt the sleepless nights, the lonely tears, and walking the fine edge of sanity not enough? Is faith even enough? its definately not, cause we gotta work at trying to make things better. Im not sure if I asked for this burden to, not only wear my heart on my sleeve, but to be different... Not different in the since that I purposely stand out, but in the since, that I do stand out, not by choice, but by genetics and training... Its definitely a blessing, but a weight. Sometimes, it fuckin SUCKS to be me, but at other times, its the greatest thing in the world... But the constant thing that I cant ever do, and its not in a matter of disrepect or anything, I just dont know how to take a compliment... Maybe if I learn how to, life may be easier when times like this comes around again... But, as of now, Ill just deal. Its time for a nap now. Be blessed guys...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Im rambling about how much I hate politics...

Anyone who knows me, KNOWS that I think that politics is the biggest crock of shit going in this country to date, even more so than the octo-mom, or whatever going on in the life of your favorite celeb, or "reality TV star." Politics in this country has turned for the worse, and is bringing the worse out of everyone. All of a sudden, people are SO passionate about the issues that matter to one extreme or the other, and no one wants to meet in the middle to try to, at least, agree to disagree. Politics has become the new church... it is a religion, and to some its a second religion, just like Scientology. And just like in politics, you have your many different beliefs to get what you want, and yet, when all sides meet, no ones really happy, cause no one wants to reach the ultimate goal, and that is whats important... whats in front of you. So, why am I sitting here turned off to politics? Easy! No one wants to allow me to find the issues for myself, in my time... it must be now, and you know, the further I'm away from giving a fuck about anything.

But interesting I say that, cause I just got finished watching this movie called "Swing Vote" Starring Kevin Costner. Its about this guy who literally the center of attention in America cause he is rewarded with a second chance to vote, cause of a system glitch... And because of this, he becomes the most popular man in America, in this no name town in New Mexico. But hes not up on the issues, and hes just clueless about anything... All the while the media is holding this guy to a high standard and is allowing him to self-destruct as hes bribed, and given a god-like status so that the candidates can get his 1 vote. And while hes riding the coat-tails to this instant fame, the person who cares is his daughter, who's passion got him passionate enough to have this one last debate, to see who he is going to choose to be the leader of the free world... These 2 men were so desperate for this 1 vote, that they actually change there beliefs to "appease" Bud, with whatever he says he believes in or not.... This movie is proof that politics, can be, and is abused just as easy as any religion...

Just with like anything popular, I don't really have a want or need to be apart of it. It doesn't matter to me... So, I sit here and declare that politics don't matter to me. I don't care what you think about me, but this is how I operate, and I will not allow anyone or anything, to deter me from that... Do I realize how important politics are? HELL YEAH! I'm not dumb! but I am just not a fan of the dog and pony show that is politics, its pointless. Just give me the facts, and give me someone who is going to give me there best... not there word, there best to try to change the world... But you know whats the problem with politics? Its the politicians. Politicians are the ones whoes getting rich and people are supporting a cause that isn't worthy at all... and yet because politicians know how to play on the weakness of people, And collect there last penny for support... Its the greatest scam in the world I think.... But you know who got it right? The Colombians! How do they have it right? Well, let me tell you why. The country's' leader is not even a politician... he's a college professor, who allowed the country to strive and clean the images of its country in the late eighties and early nineties. Allowing the arts to strive, and for people to start businesses, and that allows the economy to grow and become strong, has given this country a face lift that it sorely needed. Its no longer a country in fear... its a country that is welcoming, and loving, and don't have a reason to hide anymore... and its all because the leader has not a damn thing to do with politics... not saying that hes not politically qualified, but he allows the people to be able to be creative, thrive, and prosper... and all politicians wanna do is get all the money, and try to control the world... Land of the free, home of the brave." Those words lost its meaning lately, for its fear that has driven all of us to where we don't question anything anymore... We just allow our opinions to be made, and for us to fallow the crowd. We love to watch the news and allow the media scare us into anger or joy or whatever for no apparent reason. but its OK I guess... cause we are a fee nation and free to have anyone and everyone do whatever they want for us... God bless America...


Thanks to a good friend of mines, I have discovered probably one of the most beautiful sounds ever... seriously! This weeks song of the week comes from a swedish band named "Little Dragon." The best way to discribe them is if you take Bjork, take out all the hollow soundings in her singing, add a band something, almost like Incubus, and simply keep the beauty of the sound and song with strong lyrics, you have "Little Dragon." Out of all the songs that I heard from them, this one is probably my favorite so far... So, this weeks song, that I present to you, is entitled "Twice." Twice has a slow melancoly beautiful yet haunting sound with strong and sombering lyrics... Hope you enjoy...

Thursday, March 18, 2010


So, this weeks song of the week, I just heard yesterday for the first time, and it blew my mind. I have known about this band for a little while now, and they are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands... They have a true sound that is classic, and soulful, definately one of those things that makes them stand out. This 3 piece band was formed in Brooklyn, and they have been making noise around the nation for quite some time now. The London Souls, is just on the brink of being a huge band, and I really enjoy there sound and there work ethic, cause you can tell they dont put just any song out, so, seek these guys out on youtube, or where ever... here are The London Souls, with my favorite song of this week, "The Sound." Enjoy yall :)

THE SOUND from Creative Control on Vimeo.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Fucked and Weird

So, I just found out today, that the piece of shit that stalked the beautiful Erin Andrews from ESPN, (Michael David Barrett) got 30 months in jail... Two and a half years, for interstate stalking, filming her nude, while in the privacy of her hotel room, with intent to sell, and just generally being the worst possible human being, possible, is getting 2 1/2 years in jail... Personally, I think that's bullshit. He went all around the country to be next to her, and yet, only 30 months in jail, which happens to be the maximum sentence for being a loser! Wow... So, ladies, it sucks to say this, but y'all gotta get ugly quick... cause its apparent that any loser can do what he wants, and virtually get away with it, cause that's what the law states... Its things like this, that makes it hard for the nice guys to get the pretty women... I don't know how it became a peacock race, but you have to have the biggest feathers (i.e. being a douche bag, or hefty bag, or any other fuck hole ass trap you can imagine), to get the girl... it needs to change to where if you are a hard worker, and you don't have to use any type of flash to get the girl, you get the girl. cause any man can flash how much they make, or what clothing designer they have on, or where they got there vintage kicks, or whatever... Seriously. Its disturbing to me, that this asshole is only getting 2 1/2 years in jail for going all out of the way just to film a pretty lady naked, so he can sell it for money, That's so fucked up.

So, to close this, I say this to you pretty ladies out there... Regardless of how tough you are, make sure that you protect yourself, even in private... Make sure that all of your blinds are facing to where if someone was to try to look into your house, that the will see only the ceiling... Also, get a gun, train yourself to use it, and make sure that you have it ready to go... Be yourself, be nice, be sexy, but if the asshole doesn't get the memo that you are not that into him, then make sure that you communicate your feelings with him. If you are out and about and planning on getting drunk, make sure that you have at least 1 girl friend that will be the DD, and at least one guy friend, just in case... If going to a hotel, make sure that your peep hole is covered. Cause with the advances of technology, you can practically do whatever, like Mr. Michael Barrett did to Mrs. Erin Andrews, who's now pretty much harassed by anybody with a penis between there legs, cause of the video that was leaked on the net, that was filmed by the fuck ass who is getting 2 1/2 years in jail for fallowing Mrs. Andrews to, at least 3 different states, made sure that he was staying in the room ADJACENT to hers, in whatever hotel she is staying for whatever football, basketball, or baseball game is going on the same, or next day. WHAT A FUCKING LOSER!!! Hats off for the dedication, but still, what a scumbag! its ok though. hes getting what the law requires, but he definitely deserves more and worse. So again ladies, PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!! Thank God, it wasn't worse than that for Erin Andrews, cause it definitely could have been worse.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


First off, I wanna apologize for not writing anything lately, but I have been in a weird space, where I wanted to write, but couldnt... but I am always a fan of music, and that will never change... there will always be a new song per week... and I honestly had a hard time picking this weeks song, cause, there are 3 great possibilities, and I think I will use the 2 that I want for later weeks, closer to when the album release... but seriously, You will be blown away, I think... Anyways, This weeks song comes from one of the bands that I have grown fond of over the past few months, They are pretty heavy, and the lyrics, and the way the songs are sung are just mindblowing to me... This song is 8 minutes and 24 seconds of mind altering heavy metal. I first was exposed to these guys back in October when they opened for Mastodon and Dethklok... And since that show, I have been nothing but blown away by the simplicity of the epic that is brought in song and lyric... High On Fire is definately growing into a favorite band for a lot of metal heads, and, although, Im not a metal head, I am definately developing a palate for it, and these guys are amazing! This weeks song is called "Snakes for the Devine," which is also the name of the album. So, if you can handle it, please give them a listen, and pick up any album with there name, cause you will be blown away. :) So, for your ears, "Snakes for the Devine." :) Enjoy!

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Hey guys, ive been fighting computer problems all week, and I hope they end sooner than later... its, more or less the connectivity that I have, I hope to have that problem figured out soon... anyways, This weeks song of the week, is one, that Ive been humming for almost 2 weeks now, and dont judge me for it... As we all know, The US Hockey team lost by 1 to the Canadian Hockey team for the gold medal this past sunday... and it was heart breaking for us who call the US home, or thrilling for those who calls Canada home... however, I know that my heart was broken, and I think Sidney Crosby should go back to Canada where he belongs, that big lip bastard... fuck him... anyways... moving on... the song that is this weeks song is one that I just needed to get off my chest and out of my head... this is no joke, this is the actual song of the week! its probably the worst one ever, but ya know, its ok... i can live with that... but my patriotism wont allow me to play anything else... so yeah. here ya go... from Lee Greenwood... "God Bless The USA." May God have mercy on us all... Im so sorry. LOL

Monday, March 1, 2010

Dear Ryan Miller,

You dont know me, and I dont know you, but I have been watching from a distance what you have done for the US Hockey team, and I must say, as a fan of hockey, there is NOTHING to be ashamed about. You were amazing in front of the net. You were virtually impenatrable, but with a few mistakes by the ones in front of you, we would have gotten the gold instead of the silver. Honestly, I, as a fan, is very happy about Silver. I know its not what you work for ultimately, but to show Canada that hockey is good and righteous and on the rise here in the states, and you, Mr. Miller, is the reason. This note, isnt me saying that your teammates hasnt been a huge part of the suceess, but you are a major part of why children, children in the country wants to play hockey. A lot of kids today, probably wanna be like you... And, that is something to be proud about. I know you dont know where it it, but I can tell you that here in Decatur, Georgia, at this little bar/resturant called Twain's, We were cheering yall on, and the place erupted when Parasie scored the game tieing goal... I wish that there was a camera around to capture the moment, cause, it was insane! :) And when you recieved your medal, the place started cheering for you, cause you are the reason why the nation has a silver medal in hockey. YOu are amazing, and you are one of my favorite player... I will always cheer for you, just not when you play my thrashers. lol But thank you for the hard work, and please dont hold your head down, cause there is nothing to be ashamed of... You are in an elite group of men who played the game for the country, and shocked the world. :) May God bless you through the rest of your career man. Be blessed always.


Jolly Green