I miss you, Ruby.

Yesterday, I missed my Grandmother... My Grandma Ruby passed away 4 years ago just before Thanksgiving, and it was not an easy day to say goodbye to her... But yesterday, while I was in a meeting at work, and also doing some stuff around the job, all I could think about is her laugh... Her laugh always put a smile on my face... My Grandma always had a way of letting you know that she was happy, which was more or less... always! The only time I saw my Grandmother cry was when we laid her final husband, known simply as Grandpa Charles, to rest some 20 or so years before. Other than that, she has always had a smile. She was a world traveler, and a joker. She was just the greatest...

For me to be in a family like that, just makes me happy to have been blessed by the love that is... Whats now becoming difficult is the way the family seems to be falling apart in some ways... One of my uncles isn't trying to sell the house, and seems to try to run us (my mom, aunt, and cousins that lives in GA) out/away, Another uncle selfishly died. Yeah. My Uncle Frank had all the means to be alive, but he didn't want to be, and kept the fact that he was really ill from the rest of the family... asshole. I do miss him. He was GREAT GREAT people, but to choose death over being there to walking your only daughter down the isle, or being there to dance with your only son's wife on their wedding day, or even be there to help raise your grand kids make it really hard for me to actually be willing to forgive the choice he made. My aunt, who I love, gave me such hell as a child that I lovingly stay away. Another aunt is just nuts... I mean, insane!! She speaks without thinking, and loves to make any good moment uncomfortable... And in all of that nutty stuff, only ones of us who actually try our damnedest to keep in touch is us cousins! Me, Kevin, Mike, Jenny, Kurtis, Kristen, McKenzie, and Mia all do a lot of talking between us. But other than that. nothing more... The family is falling apart it may seem, but, we are trying. A lot of unsuccessful attempts to actually get together and do some sort of vacation/weekend with just us. Hopefully really soon we can. But it is still difficult to see my family crumble.

Life has a funny way of making things come back to family... While thinking about my Grandma, I thought about the times at her house on Willow Street. The times me and my cousins would literally pile up on the floor and fight, or go out in the smallest back yard in the world, and play football, or cops and robbers, or kickball... It was always a good time. Every morning waking up and there is the scent of breakfast in the air, and plans to go shopping. My grandma LOVED to shop. After that, it was off to a restaurant. Then bed, then up on Sundays, and church where me and my mom LITERALLY would laugh at people and their hats and what not... :) Great times for sure. But, yeah... missing my grandma hasn't been this intense since after the funeral. Even in that day, we had a LOT of great laughs. I am pretty sure, that is exactly what Grandma wanted... for us to enjoy ourselves and out lives. :) Still missing you, Grandma. I will see you again, one day. 

Good Parents = Great Music Taste

When I become a parent, I will raise my kids right... 2 nights ago, a radio personality here in Atlanta, was telling the story about him going to Benihana here in Atlanta. And after he saw all the kids running around, he decided to go elsewhere... On Buzzfeed, there is an "article or something" that shows that "Tweens" don't know who the group Outkast is...  That right there is bad parenting... You should NEVER allow your kids to run around a restaurant, while yall get drunk... You should ALWAYS open your kids up to GREAT music from the past, so they too can appreciate GOOD, QUALITY music... But because of the way these kids are raised, they wanna listen to Drake... Kanye West... Lil Wayne... They always go to the shit, and will never discover Janelle Monae... The Coup... GEMS... Coheed And Cambria... Death... The Beatles... The White Stripes... TV On The Radio... GREAT bands like these are never going to get the mainstream attention that they deserve, because, parents do not know how to be parents...

My mom grew me up on Earth, Wind, and Fire, Issac Hayes, Aretha Franklin... Classic soul searching music... My mom for my first real Christmas gave me the gift that I still have to this day... An original pressing of Michael Jackson's Thriller... That same woman, about 8 or 9 years later took me to my very first concert... It was Paul McCartney. He came and played at Williams-Brice Stadium in Columbia, South Carolina, and that night changed my life... I realized the importance of good music. Good music does a hell of a lot more for you than the bullshit that they force feed you over the Radio... I do hope that people realize that "Royals" is a social commentary of the "privileged" lives of American Youth, and a girl who is HAPPY for the life that she has, and not trying to live a "dream." It's a great song! But, I do hope that people know that Lorde has more than one song, that is a hell of a lot better than "Royals." But of course, no one will ever try to look it up... Why? Parents.

I will make sure that my kids will know music going back all the way to the days of the Symphony. You have ALWAYS gotta find out why you love certain music. But it is so wrong for parents not to give their kids the option to find or discover good music. The Hackney boys (The band named 'Death') had parents that exposed them to EVERY type of music, and they are punk LEGENDS!!! 3 black boys, living in the middle of Motown, playing punk rock... THAT is good parenting... They came from a blue collared 2 parent home, and they made sure that they had faith, music, and family. But, now a days, those kids in the 80s that were all about the hair bands (not saying that they were bad, or all bad), they will just allow their kids to listen to anything, and its obvious. I dont know the science behind it, but I am pretty sure that the statistics would show that the better parents have a great taste in music... Just saying... So yeah. Kids. Music. Important! But as a side note, the shitty songs are fun for a reason... And happiness can be a drug.

Just Because...

You may or may not have read any of my previous blogs when I talked about my good friend Christina. If you haven't read them, go back and find them. She's a pretty great person. Anyway, I wanted to do something nice for her for the coming Christmas season, but, the original plan kinda fell through. So, I am thinking of just celebrating her for her thoughtfulness, insight, and just sheer awesomeness through blog and something a little more me and her (like dinner or something). 2013 has been pretty great communicating with her over the year, and I am so grateful and blessed to call her my friend.

We met around this time last year at a going away party for a mutual friend of ours. We didn't have the deepest conversation, but the little talk that we did have had me intrigued to befriend such wisdom. It wasn't until later in that year or earlier this year when we finally decided to actually hang out. Another mutual friend of ours was moving to San Francisco, and we talked in that loud bar, and laughed and discussed, and I left there happy to know that there is someone who was willing to just listen to my side of things... Someone there who would listen to my ramblings about life, music, sports, politics, whatever. Sometimes, we all just need someone to listen to our bullshit, ya know? :) So, maybe a month or so after the party, I got a hold of her, and asked if she wanted to meet for dinner or coffee or something. We ended up meeting for coffee, and we just sat there and ran the gambit of topics, going from current events, all the way to future plans. We just sat there for hours just talking and going on, and it was enlightening. The thing that I learned in that whole first conversation is that I am not wrong for what I think, as long as I am willing to hear the other side of the story. The little things we learn, right?

So, throughout the rest of the year, we have gotten together and talked and shared life's little joys and horrors, and laughed and talked, and even squeezed in a dinner, a movie AND a listening "party" for the new Janelle Monae album that was soon to release at the time. And in all of that, I have gotten the pleasure of getting to know such a beautiful, intelligent, amazing, and quiet soul. Christina has been so awesome to me over the year or so we have known each other, and the 9 or so months that we have been friends, that, I am just content in just letting the world know that people like her exists... We all need friends out there that has nothing to do with our personal lives. We all just need someone who is there and ready for a conversation or two, just whenever, and because. Now, with that said, I do hope and pray that our friendship will develop more and more, but, in due time, that will happen. But for right now, I will say this in closing:

Christina, thank you, from the bottom of my soul, for simply being there. Thanks for taking me and all my small annoyances, and passions. I have learned how to be more patient, and be a better listener by simply sitting across the table from you. I am blessed to have people like you in my world, and I am beyond thankful for the color you bring to the canvas that makes up me. Not sure if you know this or not, but, I look forward to our gatherings, and I hope that we can continue this long after we find our special someones and marry them, and have kids, and move on from here, to one day we find time just to catch up. :) You are a treasure to me, and this blog doesn't even scratch the surface of what would be appropriate as a proper thank you to you. But this will have to do for now.

Thank you, just because,

Your friend.

Jarrett Hayes a.k.a. Jolly Green

energy wasted poorly

Outside of everything that is happening in Miami with the whole "hazing/bullying" thing in sports, the next big story comes with the term and the name of a proud and historic franchise in Washington D.C. Apparently, their NAME is so racist, that the media, from your high school copier to your AJC and every newspaper in between, Saying "Redskin" is so so wrong... Even if it is wrong, why bring up this argument now? Why, all of a sudden should I be up in arms about a word that I associate with a football team? When I hear the word "Redskins, " I think about Doug Williams, George Rogers, The Hogettes, just simple football stuff, like the black man in full Indian headgear! Nothing screams racism when I hear the word "Redskins." But APPARENTLY its SO offensive that even Bob Costas himself will no longer refer to Washing as the mascot. To each his own. But, all of a sudden, this word is SO BAD! I mean, it is just wretched!!!And yet, ALL around suburbia, in every 12-32 year old white persons car, has your ::put name of your favorite bullshit rapper of today, including Kanye West::  CD, and NO ONE has any qualms about the word "nigger." Makes since...

Can't win for losing...

Ok. Hypothetically speaking... Say one random Saturday night, you are at home chilling... Maybe you are 3 more minutes away from sleeping peacefully and then you are awaken by a phone call... On the other end is your best/good buddy/friend/confidant/bro/bitch/person that you will always be there for, no matter what, and they are drunk as SHIT! I mean, they are on the wrong side of hammered and doing laps! That person on the other end asks you to come and get them from this party.

So, out of concern and love for this person, you get out of bed, put on your sweats, jump into your car, and you head to where ever this party is just to pick up your friend who is apparently in dire straits, because she decided to kick back a few beers and vodka shots at a party that there was under aged drinking... You pull up to the party, get out, and search for said friend, saying hi to everyone is there, and ignore the obvious questions of "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A DRINK!?" You finally find your friend, and they are on the couch/in the corner, passed out/blabbing on/rambling about whatever/making out or whatever. You grab them put them on your shoulder and lead them out back to the car... But before you step out of the door, the cops happened to show up and bust up the party and make life worse for all of those who are there, and are drunk... It's your turn to be asked by the cops  of your involvement in the party, you tell your peace, and you are checked out to be honest... you are sober! No alcohol has passed your lips that night... So the cops allow you to go, after they write up a ticket for your friend...

You take her home, and you make sure she is safe... You go home and you finally get some sleep... 2 weeks later,  you go to school, and you are in math class trying your damnedest to solve for x, and then over the PA system you hear your name being called to the Principals office. You walk there not sure what could be the reason of why you would need to be called to the office, just to find out that not only is the principal is there, your volleyball coach is there as well... They sit you down, and asked you about your involvement in whatever the party over the weekend... You tell your side of the story, and you are truthful about it... After that, the school decided to not only suspend you 5 games, they take away your captaincy on the volleyball squad... All for making sure that your friend would get home safe...

Well, this hypothetical actually happened to a young lady by the name of Erin Cox. A 17 year old girl who played savior to her drunk friend on a weekend night... She was punished for being a great example of a friend, and a great example of a human being. More times than not, anyone who drinks has the balls to admit that they can get home safely. Hell. I did many a time... but I know my limits, and if I went passed them, I made sure I was sober enough just to get to point B... I am not going to sit here and say that I am the smartest person in the world, but this is just wrong. The school claims to have a "Zero Tolerance" policy regarding drugs and alcohol, which is cool, but when the punishment is dished to the wrong individuals, that's when problems arises... Instead of punishing this young lady the way that the high school did, they should make her an example of how a teenager should be like.

I do not know who this young lady is, and I probably will never know who she is, but from just this, I can tell that she is an upstanding citizen who will go out on a limb for her friends and loved ones. She is... i mean, WAS the captain of her volleyball team... She is probably on the honor roll, and never gave her teachers any reason to doubt her standings in the world after high school. However, because of her big heart, she is seen as an every day trouble maker at her school. NOT fair and NOT cool. Out of all the teenagers to ostracize, you go ahead and pick on the one young lady who did all that she could to do the right thing and make her a villain? not only that, you take away her number 1 love for 5 games?! Are you fucking kidding me!?

North Andover High School should be embarrassed of itself... Instead of punishing the good kids for their actions, REWARD THEM! This is one of the many problems with the whole school system as it stands... The good gets treated like shit, while the bad is treated as a precious gem... Its a fucked up system, and things need to change REALLY soon. The family tried to sue the school, but it didn't work out... Its not right. But I love what Erin said: " I felt like going to get her was the right thing to do. Saving her from getting in the car when she was intoxicated and hurt herself or getting in the car with someone else who was drinking. I'd give her a ride home." A concerned friend gets punished... Fucked up...

GOD BLESS YOU, ERIN! THANK YOU FOR HAVING SUCH A BIG HEART AND A GREAT HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS. MANY BLESSINGS ARE COMING YOUR WAY! 

Now introducing "GEMS"

This is the best time find new music. Seriously! Think about it. You have to be dead to not know who Lorde is right now. You have to be trapped into the world of what the radio airwaves are feeding you if you have no idea who RDGLDGRN is... And with all of that said, I have another band to put on that list. Lately, I have found most of my musical sources from the website buzzfeed.com. Whoever is over there and have a good idea of what music is, is a genius, and I love him or her so much.

I discovered, yet, another sound. Like RDGLDGRN, they come from the D.C. area. But unlike RDGLDGRN (previously known as The Five One before Blue decided to go a different direction, creatively), the band known as "GEMS" do more of the dream cast sound. A lot of similarities to Massive Attack in their sound, but for toady's music crowd, they fit right in. They have a lot of songs on their Soundcloud page, and you REALLY REALLY have to listen to the first track "Medusa." If you want to be slapped into their black and white world of amazing, this is the track to make you go there. "GEMS" is coming out at the right time. The world needs this. It's a slower pace like Lorde, and just about as deep, but they have a GREAT since of enveloping you into the sound, along with the music. So PLEASE enjoy these guys. They are amazing.

For more info on this band, here is their official website: http://www.gems-band.com/

Lables

How do you define yourself?

I know that this 5 word question is loaded, but when you think about it... How do you choose what you like and what you hate, what you believe and what you vilify? What does your dress say about your statement to whatever is established for you to be the person that you are? What about your choices? What do they say about you? Can you answer that without coming up with a label? Is that even possible? I dont know!

I'm writing this blog because Janelle Monae stated in her song titled, Q.U.E.E.N., "Categorize me, I defy EVERY label." She said that because she's been battling the media to see if she is gay or not... Personally, it doesn't matter if she is or isn't. She's an amazing artist, and her talents should be what they are digging into, not her sexual preferences. Back to the point... if you aren't a fan of labels, that's cool! But who are you? How do I know what you are if you aren't, for lack of a better term--something?

Me, I'm a black, 30 something, who loves rock music, football, hockey, pineapples, good-bad food, and good good food, and everything that I discover. I am an introvert who poses as an extrovert! I am afro-punk, and I am myself. I am a rock at the bottom of the river, and that guy you don't want to get mad. I am a Christian, but I don't necessarily follow the same path of most under the same faith. I like to show my faith by letting it shine, and not by preaching... That's just me. I just labeled myself like 15 different things... These labels make me who I am today! What are your labels? I ask again... How do you define yourself?

When you try to be different, you just being the same as someone else. And guess what, more than one of the same thing gets categorized. Nature of the beast. Now, don't go off thinking that I'm saying that Janelle Monae is wrong in what she said, and what shes defending. That is not the case. I am simply saying that me personally, I think you should embrace your labels and who you are... Anyone and everyone who is living is going to be categorized. When you made, you are going to come out into this world a girl or a boy... When you come out, and depending on your parents, you may be black, white, or mixed. From there, you may be tall or short. You may have an illness, or you may lead a "perfect" life... So, again I ask... How do you define yourself?

What about your dreams? What about the way you keep your sanity? When you imagine your world, what's in it? When you look at the world around you, how you you see it? How can you change it? What colors would you paint your world? What would stand out in it? Can it be real? What strides are you taking to make it real? I cant wait to see it, dreamer!

Don't be afraid of labels! Embrace them if you have to, but be sure to embrace them for the right reasons. Don't be something that you are not, but do not allow something that someone says define you! If you have a label, make sure that it has all the positivity it can. DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE to define you, or your labels. So, I ask for the final time... How do you define yourself? Goodnight.