I miss you, Ruby.

Yesterday, I missed my Grandmother... My Grandma Ruby passed away 4 years ago just before Thanksgiving, and it was not an easy day to say goodbye to her... But yesterday, while I was in a meeting at work, and also doing some stuff around the job, all I could think about is her laugh... Her laugh always put a smile on my face... My Grandma always had a way of letting you know that she was happy, which was more or less... always! The only time I saw my Grandmother cry was when we laid her final husband, known simply as Grandpa Charles, to rest some 20 or so years before. Other than that, she has always had a smile. She was a world traveler, and a joker. She was just the greatest...

For me to be in a family like that, just makes me happy to have been blessed by the love that is... Whats now becoming difficult is the way the family seems to be falling apart in some ways... One of my uncles isn't trying to sell the house, and seems to try to run us (my mom, aunt, and cousins that lives in GA) out/away, Another uncle selfishly died. Yeah. My Uncle Frank had all the means to be alive, but he didn't want to be, and kept the fact that he was really ill from the rest of the family... asshole. I do miss him. He was GREAT GREAT people, but to choose death over being there to walking your only daughter down the isle, or being there to dance with your only son's wife on their wedding day, or even be there to help raise your grand kids make it really hard for me to actually be willing to forgive the choice he made. My aunt, who I love, gave me such hell as a child that I lovingly stay away. Another aunt is just nuts... I mean, insane!! She speaks without thinking, and loves to make any good moment uncomfortable... And in all of that nutty stuff, only ones of us who actually try our damnedest to keep in touch is us cousins! Me, Kevin, Mike, Jenny, Kurtis, Kristen, McKenzie, and Mia all do a lot of talking between us. But other than that. nothing more... The family is falling apart it may seem, but, we are trying. A lot of unsuccessful attempts to actually get together and do some sort of vacation/weekend with just us. Hopefully really soon we can. But it is still difficult to see my family crumble.

Life has a funny way of making things come back to family... While thinking about my Grandma, I thought about the times at her house on Willow Street. The times me and my cousins would literally pile up on the floor and fight, or go out in the smallest back yard in the world, and play football, or cops and robbers, or kickball... It was always a good time. Every morning waking up and there is the scent of breakfast in the air, and plans to go shopping. My grandma LOVED to shop. After that, it was off to a restaurant. Then bed, then up on Sundays, and church where me and my mom LITERALLY would laugh at people and their hats and what not... :) Great times for sure. But, yeah... missing my grandma hasn't been this intense since after the funeral. Even in that day, we had a LOT of great laughs. I am pretty sure, that is exactly what Grandma wanted... for us to enjoy ourselves and out lives. :) Still missing you, Grandma. I will see you again, one day.