Sunday, July 11, 2010

Part Me, Part Stupidity, Equals You Fucking Up...

Well, I did it again... I decided to be an ass, who thought he was funny, and then put something in my reputation that made me out to be a bad guy... Trying to be funny, is not the thing to do sometimes, and yet, I learned another hard lesson... Not only did I taint a good friendship, I cant trust myself anymore, and its all my fault... Things are cool now and what not, but for my protection, and for there happiness, Im just going to keep my distance from the one I offended the most... The one thing I hate doing more than anything, is hurting my friends, and what you think is innocent fun, it can really put a dent in any friendship... oh well, moving on from there... gues its time to do all the repairs possible from here on. Its crazy... I hate this feeling... but its done now... Just the moving on part is hard, cause Im the type of guy who dont forget shit... But yeah... what can ya do. I owned up to my wrongs, I apologized, I didnt bullshit anyone... And still, the cold. its fukced up... But what I did learn is this... Just dont fuck around anymore, and because, I have been in this hell before, over some bullshit in the past, I just stay away. I keep my distance, and my words. They gotta be the first to talk to me... I just dont wanna go through this ever again. Still learning... But I also learned something as well... THE GOOD GUYS NEVER HAVE THE ABILITY TO LOVE... even friendship is hard to come by, cause you can fuck up and mess up a good thing going. Relationships are fickle and can be difficult sometimes... but you just move on I guess... thats all you can do. burn the bridge, pop some popcorn in the fire, and just sit back and wave from a far. Its safer that way... Cause, with that method, there is no way, I can hurt anyone, there is no way I can tarnish my good name any further, and I refuse to continuously put myself out there... I just gotta use better judgement, and think ahead, even while under the fun of alcohol... Motivated, tought, learned, and now, GO!

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