Thursday, May 23, 2013

Love No More

So this is my life. Maybe six weeks ago, I threw in the towel. I gave up the search, I decided that being single was probably the best and greatest option for me. I have received the cold shoulder for the last time. From Beth Sandy to Whitney Russell, I have gone through my fair share of bullshit from the female species. But the last and final straw that broke the camels back was THE cold shoulder... I have had my fair share of cold shoulders, and I probably have given my fair share of them along the way, but this one was BEYOND cold... You couldn't even measure it in Kelvins, that's how cold this sucker was... Go about 100,000,000,000,000 miles past Pluto, and this is how cold this son-of-a-bitch was. No lie. But because of that, I have decided to call all possible relationships quits... I have grown tired of hoping, begging, pleading, wishing, praying, looking, wondering, ignoring, and abiding all in the name of love... When I talk about love, its all about the human attractiveness of love. I am talking about the Eros love-- the love of man and woman...

Before I continue, I will say that I love all of my friends, and my family. Some things will never change, but when it comes to the females, NO MORE! I still find women attractive, and I am not attracted to any man (except for Brad Pitt, but that's a fantasy that will never happen), But, I am off the market, and that places all my dreams in the trash... The hope of having kids and a family of my own-- in the trash. Proving myself to be the hopeless romantic that I know I am/was-- in the trash. Providing my family with the resources that is necessary for us to survive and be happy-- in the trash. Giving my mom at least one grandchild-- in the trash. The last one hurts more than anything, cause if anyone deserves a grandchild, its my mom. But, here I sit, content in my decision.

Last Friday, I went to the beautiful wedding of my friends McKenneth, and Tiffany Angulo. It was held at a winery in Dahlonega, Georgia, and it was outstanding. The weather was perfect, the food was immaculate, the wines were AWESOME, and the company was even better than it all. So, during the tossing of the girdle and bouquet, I took part, like always, because I'm single, and that's what you do at a wedding. It was tossed, and guess who caught it-- the single guy who gave up on love all together. Yep... just my luck, "love" is going to slap me in the face soon... I call bullshit. But could that mean that I really deep down in side HOPE that I dont feel this way about love for real? I don't know... I am so sick and tired of being looked at as "a friend," or my personal favorite, when they say "You are a good guy!" Whatever the reason or the bullshit, I am not falling for it anymore. So, no matter what I am, no matter who I see and find attractive, I am done... I am done and there are a number or reasons why...

I have been shut down by every type of woman in every type of situation because of my beliefs and my stance on things in life. The Christian girl has to pray about it. The art girl just forgets who the fuck I am. The athiest is an asshole, and I have tried everything within my power to be one of those guys that can date anyone... I have laid down a few of my morals just to try to date and develop something with someone, but that blew up right in my face... There's the one that "isn't ready for a relationship " but was a VERY good kiss... There was the one who had a boyfriend on my birthday. All of these girls basically told me go to fuck myself in their own unique ways. After years of that, and the constant saying of "Because of your faith...," I am just done. Garnish me with some lemon and serve me to the masses. I have grown so tired of the bullshit song and dance act that is AT LEAST making yourself attractive to the opposite sex, that I give up on love!

"Once you stop looking, that's when you will fall in love." Well, I can tell you honestly that if love does make its way towards me, I do not know if I will be able to take it... I don't know if I will ever WANT it. She could be the most beautiful, amazing, precious blessing that God has hand picked and delivered to me, but I may just fuck up a good thing because of the fear that I know that I will do something consciously or subconsciously to fuck it up. I don't want that, and so I rather be a hardened stubborn single man for the rest of my life, than to have my heart broken or left confused ever again. I know that is not something so easy to accept, but that is what you are going to have to do. You are going to have to accept me for me. And who am I? I am Jarrett Hayes, and I am happily single, and not looking for anything. Love, lust, and like does not live here anymore. Nice to meet you.

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