Friday, June 17, 2011
Next Step... GO!!!
Life has decided to throw, yet, another curveball, and again, I walk to the dugout that is, this LONG UNFORGIVING GAME, that we all know, love and hate equally... This week, I haven't made $30 bucks yet, and I'm slowly going into debt, and I feel that I'm backed in a corner... Life, this year, just sucks assholes and balls... the year isn't even half over, and I'm so ready for the next year... I know things will be a lot better by then. hopefully... So, what am I going to do with myself? I'm going to school... if I'm not going to make money, I need to do something with my time, that doesn't require me sitting on a computer all day, waiting for the work day to begin, and go through the motions, to where I wait around for 3 hours before the first table comes in. I need to do something that requires for me to do something all day, to expand, not only my mind, but my social life, and maybe drop a pound or 100... I have learned that God helps those who help themselves, and I'm going to help myself, with something other than dreams... Action! Gotta do something. I have been sitting around just getting fat, and even more unhappy the more I think about it... I have to break through this invisible wall of fear that I somehow built with laziness... and now, it's time to quit being me, and start becoming me. I guess this is what Ethan was talking about when he claimed that I have "too much potential for this place." Well, unfortunately for a lot of us... our potential comes later in life, and never within the crunch of the 18 years where we want to be what we dream, and never what we have to accept as reality... I think I know what I finally want to do with myself... took me 10 years, and wasting money to go to a small automotive school, but I think I got it... so, fuck the world, fuck my world, and Imma step out for a breath of fresh air... excuse me.