Call me crazy, but, I think I have passed the want/need for love. A guy like me will probably never fall in love. Love is something that is always wanted, but always rejected. Now a days, there are so many hoops that a man has to go through to just be able to talk to a young lady... You have to be tall, dark, and handsome, you have to have a big dick, muscular, have a job, a place of your own, you own car, and be drama free, disease free, and drug free. Gotta love kids, gotta be family oriented, believe in God, and most importantly, you gotta be willing to work for a relationship that will possibly lead to marriage.
There are so much limitations of what you are suppose to look like, and have, that no one wants to love, just because. I honestly wonder how many good young men are left out in the cold, because they aren't anything that superficial TV watching bitches wants. Well, I know that I could be the greatest thing going. I'm working on myself, and slowly trying to improve... I'm 31, and doing my best to finish school, and start my career as either an editor or writer. So, its just as impossible to just be a nice guy and try to get a nice girl. Some of these nice girls like to act as if they can control a bad boy, and before you know it, they are running back to you, crying about why "he" doesn't love them, or pays attention...
So, I just gave up! I know I have talked about it before, but now, I can honestly say, that I am done with the idea of dating. There are no women out there that knows what they want. Its nothing but girls out there with what they think is an idea of what they want in a "Boi." They don't want men, they want a boy that they can train... Perfect example: There is this young lady that I know from a seasonal gig I work... One night, the tour guide was always the last one through the door, a lot later than usual... Cause as a guide, you have to stay with the group. But this one kid, was always coming in, and going through the secret door to catch up with his group. Come to find out, the girl in the room before mines, was holding him up to just make out with him... The kid was 18, and she is 24... I confronted her and said "You gotta make him keep up with his group.... And she did this practically all night... We talked, of course as friends, and in the talks about it, she mentioned that you gotta find someone you can train... Makes since, I guess? But why are you allowing a group to fuck around, because you wanna make out with some... boy? Things I will NEVER get...
So, I just sit here gladly single... Do I believe in love? I do! Hell! We would not be here if it wasn't for either love or lust, right? Do I believe in love today? Well, with all the limitations that comes with what is considered for love... I can say, I don't. It can be hard to find someone. It can be even harder to put yourself out there for the D.A.P.S (dog and pony show). to make yourself available... But, all in all, the people who are out there that are looking for something real, are out there... The real question is, how willing am I to take myself out of my comfort zone and look for this person? I don't know if she is worth the search anymore... That's all. Sorry about the long pause... Life has been crazy!
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