Monday, February 2, 2015

Addiction > Love/People < Compassion

Today is the second day of February, of the year 2015, and I can now say that I am VERY happy to have moved away from my home state of South Carolina. I am a DAMN PROUD South Carolinian, but, I refuse to be tied to a state where assholes run rampant. It is so embarrassing to call myself a Gamecock fan sometimes, because of some of the people and their ideologies of what is right, wrong, and accepted. It's more so embarrassing to be from a state where you are conditioned by the media to think and feel a certain way for a fellow man...

For those of you who don't know, and don't give a shit about sports, The quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, Johnny Manziel entered rehab. I got the news from Their Facebook status says "Manziel enters treatment, could be an opening for Connor Shaw next season." Now, to those same folks who don't care, Connor Shaw was a 3 year starter for The University of South Carolina's football squad. He won every game at home as a starter, and lost 4 on the road and 1 at a neutral site, I believe... He was an undrafted signee for The Browns and started the last game due to a bunch of injuries to the previous 3 play callers... With that said, I will talk about why I did not like that title of Facebook status. As happy as I am for anyone who has played for my favorite college team, who gets a better chance to prove themselves, I am not going to sit around and think that its OK to kick someone when they are down. made it clear that they, on the other hand, do find it OK. So, I say on their thread, "The title suggests that you are kicking someone who is down," and I also stated that "I am a human before I was even a Gamecock." I got several likes about it, but I wasn't looking for likes... I was just telling someone that their wording was not good, because of someones problem with addiction.

Now, I have mentioned it before, but I have my addictions, just like everyone else... Some people can handle theirs a lot better than most. But for the others of us, it's a lifetime battle . I have been fighting porn for a LONG time. I win sometimes, it wins others... but its a battle that will continue for a while... For some, they don't want to see it as such. But I know what I struggle with. It's not fun. It's a waste of my time, its a waste of my energy, its a waste of progress and creativity, but I struggle with it, and I do not take it lightly. The same can be said for any alcoholic or druggie who is trying to do right for themselves. Drugs and alcohol can give you a feeling like no other. It has properties to numb the pain of issues we are not ready to deal with, or we think no one wants to hear about. That is why addiction is so powerful, because the only one who is willing to listen to us, is the demon we are trying to fight. He's the only one who is willing to give us what we want right now, that good good feeling... People who don't want to hear us when we are screaming for help (R.I.P. Amy Winehouse) just tell us that they are going to pray for us, or encourage it, or just ignore all the warning signs that we are headed down the express lane to our downfall. So for Johnny Manziel or anyone to get help is a sign that they care more about themselves and their lives than the party. That is called self-preservation. He wants to live a long and healthy life, and I hope and pray that he has a GREAT support system.

A lot of people only see Johnny for what he is/was-- a spoiled rich kid getting away with everything. But no one wants to see him for what he is now-- a kid crying for help... But what some Gamecocks fans see is Connor Shaw's step towards being a full-time starting QB for The Cleveland Browns...  Now, one thing that has always worried me about the recent success of my Gamecocks was how the fans will act, and react to this new standard of success... Since Coach Steve Spurrier has graced Williams-Brice Stadium in Columbia, South Carolina, a new era of Carolina football became the new norm... now after 11 seasons there, The Gamecocks has done so much more in hist tenure as head coach than anyone else since Joe Morrison. But with consecutive 11 win seasons, 4 straight bowl wins, 1 SEC East title, beating Clemson 5 years in a row in the first time in a LONG time, big name recruits like Marcus Lattimore, Stephen Garcia, Stephon Gilmore, Jadeveon Clowney, Melvin Ingram to name a few, my Gamecocks have seen success like never before. With that success comes a change of mindset by the team, which is adapted by fans, and now makes them looks like arrogant assholes. I blogged one time about this one fan who was telling a GA fan how "classy" he is after a huge win. But that fan was all in the GA fans ear because it was a blow out... Credit to the GA fan for having class and biting his tongue, but still success has brought out the one thing I never wanted to see happen to my Gamecock faithful... It turned some of them into mean, snarky, unnecessary assholes. The same crowd that has been told that are "the best fans in the nation," are unforgiving, unprecedented, non-understanding assholes, and I am ashamed to be considered a Gamecock fan, because of these few.

I bet you any amount of money that if that was George Rogers today, you wouldn't say the same thing about him, like you are about Manziel. But I'm not going to get into all of that. This next concentration of thought is dedicated to the my overall denial of the state of the people in South Carolina... Now, before I start, I will say this: This is not dedicated to ALL of the beautiful people of South Carolina. I don't care who you are affiliated with, when it comes to your college choice, I don't care who you think should be governor, or what you do for a living... This is my thoughts of how I have seen my state grow in the past 18 years since I have moved from her... Not everyone is this way, nor will I pin everyone this way... I mean no offense by what I say, and if you do get offended, that is on you... Every time I go back to visit, its either to see My Gamecocks, or its to see my family... And every time I have gone back, I have seen friends married, friends be successful, friends close doors to me, and even worse, friends not even want to see me when I'm in town... My hometown has changed a lot, and I am happy to not be apart of it. I have had friends come into town, that I didn't even know until I found out on Facebook. I have had friends just stop by and talk about how big and awesome Atlanta is, but wouldn't want me to go out and show them around so they know all the cool spots of this amazing city... But no one said anything except for a special and select few. That's just friends. I have seen old friends at bars, tried to catch up, but blow me off. I went home for a concert not one friend wanted to hang out. now, I understand. We are adults, having to do adult things. I get that... But its still cool just to let me know that you know that I am alive... But lately, it seems that its never fun to be in SC. The growth of popularity of the sports squads, has brought out the worse in the people of the state. But who's to say that I wouldn't be the same way if I was there? I just hope and pray that I never turn that way.


This all came about because of that Facebook Status... It seemed very "kick a guy while he's down." And some attacked me because I showed compassion for someone who is struggling. I can't thank God enough that a few can't speak for many. But one guy went as far to say that "He had it coming." Another was calling him all types of nasty stuff... I can't odd dealing with some people. Clearly there is an ignorance of people who are battling addiction. Obviously, these people think God put them in a special place in life to wear they can look upon strong people at their weakest point in life, and think that they never have to deal with any issues ever... But they are wrong... they have a better support system than most people do, or they just don't want to deal with themselves... Always make sure your ass is clean before you talk about other peoples shit.

Instead of being a fan of your team, or your players, let's put that aside and hope and pray that the struggle gets easier for those who are struggling to get their lives back in order. No matter how rich, poor, skinny, fat, short, tall, black, white, red, brown, yellow, purple, green, blue, democratic, independent, republican, you are, we all struggle. The last thing anyone needs to do is show hate and berate anyone for them choosing life over the party... There are many a celeb that I do not like. One being Cam Newton. I do not shy away from my feelings about him, but if he was dealing with an issue, I would hope and pray that he get the right help and surround himself with the right people as well... Being cold to those who are down brings nothing but small mindedness to who you already are, which is a piece of shit. Don't be a piece of shit. Be understanding that you and others are not immune to the temptations of what makes you feel good... Just know that you are BLESSED to have such a strong support system to not allow you to fall into the trap that is addiction. Some are not so lucky... some have to fight off more than just the addiction... They have to fight the media, and the opinionated... And just like the ALMIGHTY Gamecock fans, that has NOTHING really to brag about, because there isn't a title enclosed with the football squad, has no room to talk about anyone who is dealing with addiction.

I do hope Johnny finds a way to deal with his problem, and I wish the same for everyone dealing with whatever that they are dealing with... Its never easy to put ourselves into shoes of the affected, but its always easy to kick them while they are down with our shoes... NOT cool... South Carolina, and everyone who thinks they are above anyone needs to check themselves... Connor Shaw is probably showing more support to his TEAMMATE than any loyal Connor Shaw fan... Think about that. FOREVER TO THEE. And by all means, SC, quit being assholes. Be loving, accepting, and for the love of God, INVITE ME TO A WEDDING OR 2!

P.S. You NEVER bring politics into a conversation about sports... There was one asshole who did... Just... Just shut the fuck all the way up...

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