Wednesday, March 27, 2013

"Well That Was Weird!" Exclaimed the Fish Out of Water.

Weird moods produces weird vibes, which makes the world make me look weird to them... So, when someone looks at me in a weird way, or they act differently around me, I automatically allow it to be my fault. for a long time (25 years or so... be it that I'm only 30, then it can't be that long in comparison), I have always thought that it was my fault that nothing works in my favor... Could it have been something I said? Done? Didn't do? Whatever the case is, I can honestly say that my luck with the human female, probably has run all the way the hell out. Yep. Not to mention, that its only Tuesday! I probably will never be able to find someone who will love me for me, and ya know, that's OK! So what is a single 30 year old to do now? Go out, and find some strange and not give a fuck about who I hurt, as they hurt me? Possibly... How about this... what if I just don't give a shit, and for real this time! I am sick of looking and hoping, and thinking I have found what could be something bigger and better, just to end up writing a blog about it... So, what do I do? How do I allow love to work its way back into my life? Now, what I mean by "love," in this since, I mean, man-woman. I am straight, and that's what I go for. I like women. If I was gay, it may be man-man love... but this is not the case... I guess, I am lacking something to actually make myself appear that attractive to the opposite sex. Maybe I give too much too soon? Maybe I scare them off with my faith? Maybe I check in/up too much/too little? I don't know what is the folly of me, but, it is there, and it has my head thinking about this song:

Yeah... The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it, because it describes PERFECTLY how I feel the world sees me. Be it friend, foe, or the random passer-by, I feel weird, and left out, and always outside of the norm. Not sure if you knew this or not, but I have never been able to take a compliment. Saying nice things to me just don't sit well with me! I feel like saying "Thank you" isn't enough, and then when people continue to go on and on, I just feel uncomfortable. I guess there are some things that I can work on... may be time to find someone to talk to right? Right. 

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