The problem with love is that its not clearly known what it is to the individual. We all think that its saying yes at the alter with God and witnesses, and going on trying to make the more as good as you can for you and yours... but is that all love is? Could it be more than that? Could it be less than what we are making it out to be? Why do we all end up hurting from what we think is love? Well, I have a few ideas... Let's explore them... shall we?
Our views of love are completely different from our parents and grandparents... Back in the days when there was still slavery all the way through the depression, and the fight to keep the nation (mostly the south) segregated, love was something that you needed to make it through the next day... Back in those days, strength was a foundation of true love... With love, the story still holds true--boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy, and they kiss, get married, have sex, and have a family... But in those days, it was that, plus the strength of our better half to get us through the promised hell of the day. So, if a woman stuck by you when you came home bruised, bloodied, and covered in everything under Gods sun, that was love... And plus, no one ran away in those days. No one knew what being irresponsible meant. Still, to this day, its not a word for a reason! Women who defended her children from unlawful treatment from cops, had to come home to a man that she had to hold back from being killed himself... love was more than it is now...
Now, because of my assessment of love then, doesn't mean that what it is now, or back in the 70's is any different... The only difference I can think of is the fact that people were on this new wave of thinking that love was free--as if our actions didn't have any consequences... More than one "lover," lots of drugs, and psychedelics was all the rage, was there anything as real love during this time? Definitely! Not everyone was full of chemicals, and the radical Jesus movements, the flower power, or the need to be "free." Even in those moments, love definitely existed... But was it with a sober mind that they made love what it was then? Or was it a fear of being like their parents that made them try the alternate avenue of love? What was the excuse of the love in the 80's and 90's?
It's evident that love has dissipated by the time the 80's and 90's rolled around... more times than not, a child born was fatherless... the father was not there to help raise the life of the baby that he helped make... Its just fact... Now, all dads that wasn't there, definitely helped out by any means, but for the most part, he didn't help... So, all these women had to play duel roles of mother and father, and it can definitely take a toll on anyone... Same goes for those fathers who has to play the mother role as well. It was not easy! But love is definitely not an issue... only issue is the thought of love... Was it really there? or was it just a passing fad to get something, and to pass up on the responsibilities? Where the hell did fear come into play? What I mean by fear is, the thing that was implanted into the generation who didn't know both parents at the same time. What are we fearing? Is is commitment Could it be that we are scared to love in order for it to fall away? Is it REALLY a commitment issue?
Well, is it? With technology the way it is today, its so hard to actually hold on to your word... I can't tell you how many times, I pressed that "join/going" button to an event on Facebook to not go... Why didn't I go? Money? Gas? Who knows! I got a catholic bible size novel of excuses... It just goes to show that we can't hold on to something as simple as our word. Also with the world as busy as it has gotten with this thing called "responsibility," it makes things so much more difficult to commit to anything. And in that, love factors itself in there in a different light. Now a days we love beer. We love animals. We love our friends. We love to tear down whatever is in our way be it good or bad. We love to give out the blame. We LOVE to brag about what we are doing or what he have. We LOVE to dream... But what about the girl or guy we met? Do we love them? I can't say for sure, because we LOVE to put ourselves in some sort of ringer when it comes to things like this. When we meet someone who we are attracted to, we don't try to get to know them. We try to get in their pants, and get what we want, and move on with our lives... Sex has become meaningless it appears, and no one wants kids... so many reasons, and fears behind why they don't want them, and so, love is evident that it needs to be pieced together like something from Ikea...
So... when it comes to love in the today and now... where is it? Does it still exist? It appears that once you do get someone, it takes SO long to commit to the "L" word, that its really hard to actually love anyone... So, there's that fear of commitment, and the fear of love... It's sad, and it sucks. Why do we always have to be about our individual selves, and not for the ones we think we like? You know what I mean? I haven't even gotten to those who are in love, but don't want to marry... We all have family or friends that we know, who are popping kids out left and right, and neither wants to actually be under 1 name... not saying that all married couples should be under his last name, but ya know what I mean... Its just so hard to believe in love when its so hard to find, although its right there. And for those of us who really want it, its so difficult to find it, because its been beaten to shit that we will settle for the next thing carrying the disease (seriously, this is the VERY FIRST TIME that I actually spelled "disease" correctly... I AM SO FUCKIN SMART!!!!)... Its just go to show that we all need to work on finding what love is. If not for us, then for our children... If we have any... If we want them... The cycle can end, and it will end, as soon as we collectively figure out that love is just so damn simple to get to know!
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