Getting it all out

Well, here I am again... up, awake, big day ahead tomorrow, and I am having, yet, another time in life, where I have to shut up the world around me, and figure up what the fuck do I want, and who the fuck am I... What I want is to be better than what I am not... I want to be bigger than what I am, but, I feel as if I am trapped, again... Im in my own prison, that I built for me... I dont think that I am made to be happy... I am to give happiness, but never to be happy... 27 years old, single, always putting dreams in the slow lane, abandoning promises, just nothing going the way I would have imagined it... All the hard work feels as if its all for nothing, but somehow super satisfying, cause, I worked HARD for it... But all in all, all the work I do, and all the happiness I give, leaves me here blogging about how unhappy I am... The title of this blogsite, that I created is "EVERY THOUGHT MUST GO!!!" I named it that, because, I wanted to get my thoughts out, without consiquence from anyone... I can say whatever the fuck I want, and I dont have to conform to anyones ideas, but mines... Anyways, What am I doing to make my world better? What am I doing to try to make myself happy? Not a lot unfortunately... Im just going through the motions, and living up to the expectations that people have given me, without my notice, all the while, trying to hold that position on top of the pedistal that Ive been placed... its weird... but it is what it is... Even in faith, Im not happy... I have abandoned the basics... I rarely pray, I dont read the bible, not only because I hate reading, but because, I just dont want to read it... I hate ANYTHING that contains the word "church," and Im content in my relationship with Jesus Christ, My Savior. But, this weight that has been given to me, is becoming a bit too much, and Im not sure, how much more of this shit, I can take... Is it worth abandoning, everything that everyone hopes of me? Is it worth scratching away the memories of the places, people, and times, that drew smiles across my face, just to start from right now, and make sure that shit is great for me, and my sanity, and myself? It may be... But unfortunately, yet fortunately, I will never be able to find that delete button in this life time, to start over... cause, although, Im in a bad spot now, tomorrow is a gift, that I HAVE to charish... regardless of how I may feel... cause, who knows if the next tomorrow is mines or not... So, although I bitch, I am happy to hvae the ability to feel... I am able to feel rejection, hesitation, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, lonliness, and to pass on the same... Things will change... even if I have to change it myself, so be it... until then, congratulations to you, and your persuits... May the nice guy never find joy...

SONG OF THE WEEK

This weeks song comes from one of my favorite new bands... Ive known about these guys for nearly 2 years now, and oh my lord, I have been blessed again with there talents... I revealed a song a while ago from these guys called "Active." And I think they topped that with one of there latest release called "Mandatory." This song is warm. Yes, warm! Its a beautiful song, that basically talks about the work that it takes to maintain the love of those who we love. Its a great song with a melody that will make you smile. I recently saw the video, and I was just wowed... This song comes from The Five One. The Five One is a band based out of the D.C. area, and is the true definition of beauty, and uniqueness... There names are RED, BLUE, GREEN, and GOLD... If you ask them for there real names, they will tell you, RED, BLUE, GREEN, and GOLD! They are colors. They live, eat, breathe, there colors, and that's who they are, cause as BLUE says, "People die, but COLORS lasts forever." Pretty true. Good guys who loves to play, make, and create music. I am thoroughly amazed at what they have produced in the years they have been painting towns. And, last night, I got the blessing to share with you this beautiful made song. Again, I guarantee that you WILL smile. Such a great song, with a great message... work at what makes you love. That's what I take from it. And without further ado... From The Five One, "Mandatory." enjoy :)

Sometimes, all you can do is shake your head.

How does one find the means or the worth to respect a drug dealer? Why would someone want to celebrate the life of someone who has taken so many? I dont see the greatness in a low life that profits off of feeding someone there death mean, through whatever drug, that one may need to feel good... After hearing a song by "Rick Ross" called "BMF (Blowin' Money Fast)" And the first line of the chorus is "I think I'm Big Meech, Larry Hoover..." After hearing this, I had to look up who the fuck these people are... Turns out, both of them are, not only in jail for multiple crimes dealing with murder, drugs, and what not, but, they were the big names, in the American drug cartels that is killing people all over the southeast. And for someone to say, that they think they are Big Meech and Larry Hoover, has nothing to really strive for... Its easy to say, its only a song and lyrics, yeah... But is it just lyrics? Is it just a song? Does anyone really wanna end up behind bars or in a box, over trying to get money, from people who depends on there master to serve them there small portion to feel alive? I dont think so... I dont know whats the worth of finding favor in the lowest form of creation, but ya know? I am not one to judge... however, I think everyone can strive to find someone a little bit better than someone who is in jail. But whoever you look up to, make sure they are out of jail at least... I know it may seem im all over the place in this blog, but I dont care... its late, im tired, and excited, and my superstitons is turning me super nervous right now, so, if its all over the place, then im sorry, but i will close with this... any black man who finds it necessary to profit off the sickness of others, and wants to feed that sickness for the gain of money, is scum, and needs to be shot. Thats all. going to bed now.

For The Love Of The Game.

Aaah... this is the time of the year, where men become boys, and robots to the out of control, out of our hands, world of American football. With 6 grueling months between The Super Bowl, and Preseason, its just 1 week, that every southerner, who actually has a soul, and a faith that there team will finally do it this year, decides that football is more important than life itself. Football, in its own right, is just a game. its a game that teaches you how to control your actions, and emotions. It also teaches you the value of teamwork, and faith that the people around you, that you bled with, grind through the heat, and humidity with, and shared hugs, and tears with, will be there for you, regardless of the rights or wrongs in life. Football has such a power over the country, that people, such as myself, will go overboard in fandom and do everything except pray that there team will FINALLY have there day in the sun...

The beauty of football is that it allows you to show emotion, it allows you to be a fan of the drama that unfolds second by ticking second. Its a beautiful game with colors, sounds, and a feeling that will never be explained or described... Between tailgating, the pretty ladies decked out in the colors of there favorite team, the different fans in there different degrees of fandom, its the only time in all the nation where, for 12 to 14 hours a year, we have something in common... We all love the game of football. Not only do you see the comradery of the players, but the fans, of all colors, backgrounds, creeds, and differences of political, or religious opinions are all forgotten, as we ALL cheer on our teams and dance the opponents out of the stadiums. If football could cure cancer, it would. There is just something about this small escape from the trials of the week, just to allow 1 game... 1 60 minute period of time that's controlled by man, that spans 3 hours, to determine if the week was worth the hell, or if it was all Murphy's Law... I can attest to how crazy football makes me...

I am so thoroughly engulfed with the love of my University of South Carolina Gamecocks, that I allow superstitions get the best of me... the things that wouldn't normally bother me during the rest of the year, is something that I have to address every week, and I must do the same things, or else, I screwed my team... Now, lets get real. I know that its not all on me... I do not have the power to screw my team, myself... they are the only ones who prepare all week for the team on the schedule, and they are the ones who has to have the timing down pact. They are the ones who has to focus there minds, to create plays, and fight through fatigue, and the elements, and the opponent, AND the mind games they bring to throw your team off. So, its not my actions that determine the outcome of the game, but to me, the individual fan, it makes it all amazing, and that much more fun to be a fan. What makes me a fan, is the fact that I love the game from all aspects. From the meaningless, smell of the pads, to the feel of the dew as the world cools, football is an amazing human experience. This is the greatest time of the year for me, and millions of others who play, has played, and still playing, beginning to play, watch, listens, feels, and loves the sport, and all of its theatrics that makes it special to us all, personally. To some, football is a tie to a good memory of family bonding... to some, its a reason to smile, whatever your reason, just know that football turns boys into men, and unlocks the meaning of passion for a lot of us. 2010 football season should be a good one. I cant wait, and I welcome it with open arms.

SONG OF THE WEEK

This weeks song is from a band named "The Apples In Stereo." Its a song that Ive heard on many a commercial, but I never knew who sung it, until I decided to finally LISTEN to the album I realized the band who sung the song. I ran into this band for the first time, about 10 years ago now. If you love cartoons, as much as I, then you would remember back in the height of the popularity of The Power Puff Girls, there was this TV spot, that was a music video, with a live action, for lack of a better term, Power Puff Girl Monster, destroying a city, as this band played the song "Signal In The Sky (Lets Go!)," And that's when I fell in love with the sound that is, "Apples In Stereo." I recommend you listen to that song, cause its great, and it brings me back to a good time in life. :) But anyways, there song "Sun Is Out," Is the song of the week... its definitely a feel good song. Kinda hippie-ish, but all the same, amazing to listen to, and feel. :) So enjoy!

P.S. I will be blogging regularly again soon... been in a bit of a block. :) Hang in there guys! Love ya! and THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING!!! :)

SONG OF THE WEEK

Hey guys. Im sorry I have been quiet lately. I have been in a weird space, and just going through another version of my own personal writers block and havent really found a way out of it... however, I cant deny yall music, and I figured that this weeks song (although its not thursday), would be one from one of my favorite bands of all time... For those of you who dont know, or cant even tell, Jack White is actually pretty political. In his song "Icky Thump," he has lyrics that goes "White Americans. What? Nothing better to do? Why dont you kick yourself out. You're an immagrant too!" This is talking about the immigration fight, around the beginning of the issue. He doesnt go on and on about everything political, all of his shows are fun, and amazing, and doesnt have one political bone in it... He may have a commentary on todays society in the media, but for the most part, its all music, peppermints, and rock and roll. Going with the theme of what I was saying earlier, This weeks song is from The White Stripes, and from there self-titled debut. "The Big Three Killed My Baby" Is a song written during the time of Detroit's declining affect in the automotive world. With lazy ideas, lay-offs, and closings of many of the countries big names in automotives, this song taps into the frustration that it creates for the common man, on the outside looking in, at least thats how I take it... What I love about this song is the anger in sound, and the direct thrust of lyric on beat, and music, and the passion in voice. This song is amazing, and this is one of the many reasons why I love this band. So with no further delay, I give you "The Big Three Killed My Baby," From The White Stripes. Enjoy :)

SONG OF THE WEEK!!!

I am doing this blog on this day, to, not only make up for the past 2 weeks that I did not post a song, but also to introduce a lot of you to someone you may or may not know already... When I met this guy, it was late last year, when the earth was starting to cool down from ye, and at a bar. I saw my boys Kamal, and Geno, and went into a bar, grabbed a beer, came out, and joined in the conversation with them, and this white kid, that was making us laugh about the BET Awards when Lil Wayne changed up the whole censoring method of the guy who practiced censoring him during practice. lol Funny funny night. Well, later, Kamal introduced me to Tom Peters, a Decatur native, and a super nice guy. While talking to Tom, I found out that he is an underground hip-hop artist, and he was telling me all about his credentials, and how he loves the art of hip-hop, and how he does not like how so called "rappers." In the game today... Tom P is someone I consider to be a friend. hes a good hearted southern boy who is a hard worker and a believer in his talents and passion. But what makes him such a fun subject is the fact that he is amazingly talented! Tom has a fan base that sits in the thousands, and is growing daily, due to word of mouth... Recently, Tom just came back from a tour that he was opening for the headliner Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. He has been working his whole life to this point to be the greatest rapper known to the world, and with his latest release "Root For The Underdog," He is even closer to doing that. The release party to this event had over a thousand people, and he damn near sold every album he had on him that night! Matter of fact, I think he did sell out that night... The album is exactly what makes me love Atlanta, it made me smile to hear a lot of the tracks, cause its just like any night here in this city... Hopping from city to city, town to town, bar to bar, friend to friend... And the weekends that is full of regrets and puzzle piecing. This album is amazing, and a true show of love from man to city. Tom has a unique gift to bend words and do it phonetically, and clearly. He also does it all with deep lyrics that reps the greatest city in the world, Decatur, Georgia. Although I am not a native to Georgia, I love this city more than anything... And Tom P is a great reason to love this city. All he wants to do is make good music for the world to love, and he does it all with the people he love, and who has helped him along his path. So, the song I chose that displays his talents is "Intro." Its an introduction to the world of who Tom P is, and he does it without apology... And when you listen to him, you will realize that you have to do 1 of 2 things, either get on board, or get ran the fuck over by the train that is about to come down hill... Here's to you Tom! Thanks for being genuine and awesome. And without further delay, from his sophomore project titled: "Root For The Underdog," Intro. Enjoy :)