FINALLY a Moment to Give MY Thoughts

Well, its been a solid two weeks since I have been on any social media site, and I can honestly say, it feels damn good to actually look up news, and form an opinion without the help of asshole friends baking their cake and eating it too... It can seriously be just so damned annoying and frustrating to have someone force their opinions and or beliefs down your throat with the ideology that they are right, and you are wrong and try to stick it to you by calling you and your beliefs "stupid," or "ignorant," or "closed minded."  Now a days, those of us who are not assholes, actually have to watch what we say so we won't offend anyone and their beliefs or lack their of. It's not fair that one side has to be more careful than the other, but this is not the argument for this blog... This opinion is mines and mines alone. Read what I said-- "this OPINION is mines and mines alone." What does that mean? It means that what I will say will not be met by anyone's  rebuttal. I will not apologize for my opinion either, because I have kept my mouth shut for this long, and ya know what? Everything has its time and place, and here is mines.

It has been a debate that has been going on for about a year now and no one ever asked me for my opinion, because it has always been given to me. So here we go. My opinion on everything gay marriage related is this: I don't care. I am a Christian, and I know that in the Bible, Leviticus 20:13 to be exact, that "If a man lies with another man, as he does with a woman, is committing a detestable act..." So yeah! That's what it says in the Bible... can't argue the Word of God. But, that is in the Old Testament. When Jesus came to earth, he came to do the job that no other person could have done, and that was to give everyone a chance to be seen blameless before God. When Jesus died on the cross, he took too hell with Him, all of the sins that would make us unclean in the Eyes of God. With that being the case, he took with him murder, rape, cheating, lying, cussing  and of course, HOMOSEXUALITY!!! If Jesus did truly die for everyone, and gives EVERYONE a chance to get to know Him in an intimate way, what makes the gays any different than those who murder, those who steal, those who kidnap, those who have sex with more than one partner of the opposite sex? I don't see any difference. No matter how minor or major that you make a certain sin, in God's eyes, they are all the same. So if someone wants to kiss or have sex with someone of the same sex, that is no different than me cussing out my superior. No difference in me watching porn, and a man telling another man "I want you." So, that is what I have to say and believe. God loves us all that He sent His Son, My Savior, down to give us all a chance to be seen faultless in the Eyes of The Father.

I know that a lot of y'all probably don't believe what I believe, but, this is what I also believe: We all have to make choices in life each and every day of our lives. When I wake up in the morning, I have the choice to either hit the snooze button, or roll my fat ass out of the bed, and actually get started on my day. I have the choice to take a shower, or just get dressed and head out the door. I have the choice to either go to school, or stay home. I have more than one way to deal with stress. It is all my choice on what I do to relieve myself of said stress. With that said, I do believe that your sexual preference is a choice. Kill me now if you want to, I don't give a shit. Matter of fact a bullet to the head wouldn't be such a bad idea right now (seriously kidding). For example, Everyone's favorite gay brother who was protecting his sister has decided to go straight. Really! Read this! He decided that he wants to do whats right in the Eyes of God, and he wants a family... He CHOSE to change his life... A lot of people decide to try dating someone of the same sex if dating with the opposite sex didn't work for them. I have a friend who changed his life around, and isn't trying to live the destructive lifestyle he was leading. No one will ever just jump from one way to another. It is a process, and it takes work! I am not saying that they are right or wrong in their choices, but what makes someone so much more accepted for going from left to right, and not right to left? I believe that everyone has a choice and they make their choices according to however they want to live their life.  If someone decides to be gay, they are reprimanded by someone while everyone accepts them. On the other hand If you believe that you are born a certain way, then that means that every choice you make is a lie.

The only thing you have no control over when you are born is what name you are given, and the color of your skin. Other than that, as you grow, you develop your own personality, your own way of thinking, your likes, your dislikes, your ideas, your faith, everything is a lie, if you are born with anything other than the skin that you are in. I didn't birth loving rock music. I didn't birth finding women of other races more attractive than those of mines. I chose those things to enjoy. I chose to be a Christian. And I believe that your sexual preference is also a choice. Believe it or not, you choose what is attractive to you. To act as if its a genetic default is bullshit. Sorry. Call my bluff if you want, but I am not listening... These are my thoughts...

With all of that said, to have anyone say that someone is wrong for whatever they decide, or "believe that they were born with," is not right either... Seriously... before anything, we are all humans, and we are all fucked. no matter who you like, love, want or whatever, you are loved, and you should be able to love whomever you want. And no matter who you love, I know that God is smiling on you. He loves you, no matter what you decide. So, be you, and be happy. But don't make the excuse that you were born that way.

One Year Off: Day 7

Well, that was fun! Honestly! I had a blast this weekend! I am indebted to Greg and Shanaria for the opportunity to learn on the fly in the making of what will be a great short film! I'm slow to actually post any pics, because I do not have permission to, and I do not want to do anything without the say so of the director, and producer, but there were a lot of pictures taken, and it was fun. I learned the importance of lighting, I learned the importance of time, and I made some new friends and connections along the way. I have gotten a taste of what my life will be for years to come, and trust me, its going to be great.

I am sold on just staying with post production, and do as much off set stuff as possible, but with the knowledge I gained in my camera work, and lighting, I feel SO far ahead of everything, that I am just thrilled of my future. Now, don't get me wrong, there were some really stressful times, but, in the end, it was all beneficial. The crew that I got the pleasure the work with are all talented, and driven like I am, and in that little group, I can tell you that movie making is in good hands. We will change the game and not recycle crap to make the easy dollar. People have to realize that all Hollywood is doing is taking one medium, and making it into another medium, and making the magic, letting it sit for a while, and allowing someone to destroy a classic. We will not allow to happen when we are making these films.

ALSO! I have gone to my first restaurant! I went to West Egg off of Howell Mill Rd. in Atlanta, GA. All I can say is WOW!!! The food was unbelievable. They serve breakfast all day, they have a nice lunch menu as well. Everything I saw on there was for the foodie in all of us. With a great view of the city, on a side of town where you can find just about anything to do, its great! I would definitely recommend it to everyone. Its not too vegan friendly, but it is definitely vegetarian friendly. I had the omelet which I had to build. I put bacon (of course) on there with Pepper Jack cheese, and mushrooms. It was very good! The price is about mid range, paying $9.25 for my meal. You definitely get your moneys worth. The biscuit was outstanding, and their grits are standard made with roasted garlic... VERY flavorful.

So yeah! That was my weekend, and Monday. It was great! This no Social Media thing is great! And texting and calling friends to see if they want to hang out, is better than any bullshit Facebook invitation where anyone says that they are coming out, and next to no one shows up. So, if you are in the middle of making a decision to either stay away or log off completely, I will encourage you to try it out. If you do decide to stay away for an extended period of time like I, more power to you! It has been fun so far! I will talk to yall soon!

1 Year Off: Day 3

Well, today was the first day I worked on a movie set. So far, it looks like its going to be amazing! I had a lot of fun, and gotten to know the people I work with a lot better... It is just unfortunate, that I was late/didn't get a call sheet... But its ok, I know where and when to be anywhere tomorrow. But it is a fun time for sure. The cast is great from what I know, the crew are fabulous, and the director is definitely going to make his presence felt in the film industry. Outside of that, I have yet to get started on my first draft that has to be in on Monday... It's ok. as long as I do everything right, it should come out right. The only thing keeping me from actually getting it done is the fact that I cant fit together my ideas. Thank God for Dr. Hickman... if it wasnt for her, and her giving us the tools to actually know what to write, I would be screwed. But, I will have a lot of time to get it all done. Thank GOD!

I don't have any pictures to show, but I may have some tomorrow. This is going to be a fun weekend. I am so happy that God made this the path for me, because it allows me to be creative, and the more I learn, and the more I do, the sooner I get to allow my ideas, and creativity to show. Math is going great as well... I am so happy to have the teacher that I do. Andy Imm (pronounced like saying "em") is a great teacher! His method of teaching is that of someone who cares enough for everyone to make sure that they all get it, and he is doing just that. I still hate math, but I am getting it, and I will probably not like it at the end of it all... This quarter has been the most difficult yet. It has been a challenge, and I am glad to have it. I wasn't becoming complacent with school, and all the "A's" I have been making, but its great to know that I have to use my mind for the basics.

I will admit, I have had some funny thoughts that I should have shared, but I didn't  why? Cause, they are not for everyone! Not this time. And I can say that its entertaining the things that runs through my head. If you cant laugh at yourself, with yourself, or with others, you should just go ahead and die. Taking life too seriously can do damage to you... I know. Well, I have to be up in 4 hours, so I will leave. God bless. I will be updating again soon! Night guys!

1 Year Off: Day 1

So, I did it. I finally decided to ween myself off of social media. I am doing this because it has become a distraction. I, for some odd reason, was made to wear my heart on my sleeve. And when I see my friends or family not happy, It makes me not happy... When I see my friends and family being assholes, I want to punch them. When I see my friends and family make accusations against or for religion or politics, I want to shoot them dead. After a while, all of that gets really annoying, and tiresome! So, I decided to say good-bye to social media for one whole calendar year. It's just unfortunate that I can't do it on a leap year, cause whats one extra day, right? So, whats the plan for me since I decided to give up on the repetitiveness of what social media has become? Well, I plan on doing a few things. Nothing is set in stone quite yet, but I do have one idea that is actually taking over everything else right now.

I would like to take a restaurant tour of Atlanta. I want to go to one of the many fabulous restaurants that Atlanta has to offer. This city, albeit big, is VERY small. Atlanta is no bigger than a minute, but it has a lot going on for itself. Only thing that this city really needs is a more reliable public transportation system, and a hell of a lot better highway system. But I digress... There are a lot of great restaurants in this city that I have only heard about in name, or have seen in passing or have read about, and I want to try them all. So, what I plan on doing is avoiding the spots that I LOVE to go to like just about every restaurant in Decatur. There are a few that I have not been to yet, or have actually eaten what is on the menu, but, near the end of this one year break, I hope to go and eat at all of the. With that in mind, that will eliminate Twain's (thankfully), Victory Sandwich Shop (Decatur and Inman Park), Six Feet Under, Ragin' Burrito, Brickstore, Mac McGee's, Square Pub (Thankful again), Leon's, Trackside, Parker's On Ponce, The Corner Pub, Taco Mac, Big Tex, and Thai Bowl... That's just in Decatur alone! I haven't even mentioned the restaurants in Oakhurst... But you get the idea, I am going to a lot of great places to expand my pallet.

I know a lot of these places will not be cheap, but I am willing to risk it just to see the city. There are plenty of restaurants that I have gone to but did nothing but drink there, or have had an appetizer, I will go to like The Optimist, JTC Kitchen, No. 246, to name a few, to enjoy their menus. So, this will be exciting and fun! And the purpose of this is to try the food, and also see the city, and make a few new friends, and just enjoy the city I have not liked since I have been here. So, this is the beginning of a journey. I am excited!

Another thing I am going to be doing is getting help... I have a lot of built up anger, frustration, feelings, and what not has started to get out of hand... the last few years have been hard to keep the facade up... a few of my friends have seen the change that has happened to me. I am still a nice guy, but I have a lot that I will need some help with. So, I will be looking for some support to make sure that I can live my life as free as possible. I also hope to get into shape. So, in the one year away from the prison that is social media, I hope to improve myself all around. I hope to also put my heart where it needs to be, in my chest. But, I believe that human interaction is what I need, and I cant wait to see how it all works out.

"Well That Was Weird!" Exclaimed the Fish Out of Water.

Weird moods produces weird vibes, which makes the world make me look weird to them... So, when someone looks at me in a weird way, or they act differently around me, I automatically allow it to be my fault. for a long time (25 years or so... be it that I'm only 30, then it can't be that long in comparison), I have always thought that it was my fault that nothing works in my favor... Could it have been something I said? Done? Didn't do? Whatever the case is, I can honestly say that my luck with the human female, probably has run all the way the hell out. Yep. Not to mention, that its only Tuesday! I probably will never be able to find someone who will love me for me, and ya know, that's OK! So what is a single 30 year old to do now? Go out, and find some strange and not give a fuck about who I hurt, as they hurt me? Possibly... How about this... what if I just don't give a shit, and for real this time! I am sick of looking and hoping, and thinking I have found what could be something bigger and better, just to end up writing a blog about it... So, what do I do? How do I allow love to work its way back into my life? Now, what I mean by "love," in this since, I mean, man-woman. I am straight, and that's what I go for. I like women. If I was gay, it may be man-man love... but this is not the case... I guess, I am lacking something to actually make myself appear that attractive to the opposite sex. Maybe I give too much too soon? Maybe I scare them off with my faith? Maybe I check in/up too much/too little? I don't know what is the folly of me, but, it is there, and it has my head thinking about this song:

Yeah... The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it, because it describes PERFECTLY how I feel the world sees me. Be it friend, foe, or the random passer-by, I feel weird, and left out, and always outside of the norm. Not sure if you knew this or not, but I have never been able to take a compliment. Saying nice things to me just don't sit well with me! I feel like saying "Thank you" isn't enough, and then when people continue to go on and on, I just feel uncomfortable. I guess there are some things that I can work on... may be time to find someone to talk to right? Right. 

The celebration, and worship of bullshit.

Sorry I have been away for so long, but, that's what happens when you are doing nothing but working, and going to school... I have tried to make some posts lately, but could not formulate an idea that I that passionate about. I mean, I feel passionate about them still, but could not formulate enough of them, for a blog, for example: I do not want to have sex, ever... Reason why, because its not special anymore. it has no purpose in the times of today, as ridiculous as that sounds, that's how I feel... But we will see if that will last (probably not)... I also wanted to say something to the affect of how its like gays are being treated like those with autism. I have plenty of gay friends, and I love them to death. however, I'm not going to treat them any differently because of their sexual preferences... And its sad and embarrassing to see that they are being treated so differently because of that. I don't like it. that's just me personally, but that's not what this blog is all about... And the last subject that I was pretty passionate about, but could not formulate a blog around was (yet again) the gratuitous use of any variation of the word "nigger." Joke, serious, or for scene, its not a good look, and I will stand by my beliefs. I am not perfect, so I will not claim that I do not use the word, but I do my best not to for any reason... If I do end up being a screenwriter, all my movies will not have that word in them, that is how strongly I hate that word as a black man... talk to me 10-15 years ago, I would have felt differently, but, in that time, I have matured, and I don't like to use any word that brings down a group of people. That is how I operate, and If you don't like it, move along...

This blog is honestly about the treatment of people because of their mistakes. As we all know, the verdict came in for the boys involved in the Steubenville, Ohio rape, where a passed out drunk girl was taken advantage of sexually by 2 boys, during a party. The sad thing about this whole story is, that if it wasn't filmed, I can guarantee you that it would be a different story IF IT WAS NOT FILMED! Yeah! teenagers today, have technology, and because of technology, ANYTHING, anywhere can be filmed, or captured in that moment... So yeah, unfortunately for these boys, it was captured, and now they are in trouble... How much trouble? Well, after they were found guilty, they started to cry like scared little girls... then they were sentenced to 1 year in jail... 1 year... in jail... Really... 1 year in jail for rape. Not possession, not involuntary  manslaughter... no... 1 year in jail for rape. RAPE! You know, forcing yourself upon someone in a sexual manner, rape... Yeah. 2 17 year old boys are serving 1 year in jail for rape, while there are 14 year old kids who kill someone, get tried as an adult, and is then put in juvenile detention center, until they turn 18... Thats fucked up!

I don't know how the system works in Ohio, but, apparently, the athlete comes before the victim, and before academics...  According to CNN, these boys are the victims! Watch.

Well, we all know how CNN feels... And its a mutual feeling along the media front... That these boys are the victims... Not the girl who was drunk and got raped. No! She was passed out! How could she have been a victim, right? But no... These boys were "promising students!"  This verdict "laments a promising football career!" So sad (not really)... What about the girl? Did anyone tried to reach out to her? Did anyone try to ask her how she felt? How she feels? Nope! They were concerned about these boys, who knew better. You cant sit there and tell me that not one 16 year old don't know the difference between right and wrong. Even an autistic child at that age knows the difference between right and wrong!!! There is NO EXCUSE of why these boys are being looked at as "victim of circumstance." Fuck that noise! These boys need to be punished worse than 1 year in jail... they need to be in jail for 20 years, with no way of finishing their education, or trying to better themselves as athletes. They lost that privilege. So, I hope they rot... I would hope something else, but I DO believe that EVERYONE deserves a second chance, and I DO hope that they learn from this, and actually become productive in some way, in life, no matter how I may feel at this time...

But outside of these boys, who actually deserves the blame? The girl? nope... The party? nope... The blame should lie, solely, and honestly on the neglectful parents who didn't do anything to try to prevent these teens from doing what they did... I don't give a shit how country, or how far in the stick your town is, if you are breaking the law, YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW! Either way, this could have been prevented if parents were present, and actually kept some sort of control over all this... I could blame the movies, TV, and what have you, but, the fault of this whole thing lies on the parents, and their neglect to raise their kids... They were being kid owners, and not parents, as explained by this comedian.

Yeah... Those "KID OWNERS" allowed that bullshit to happen, and now lives are ruined, and the media sympathizes with the boys and not the girl... assholes... But, again, EVERYONE deserves a second chance, even the kid in Newtown, I think, deserved a second chance, if he was alive... That's how I feel. But right now, the punishment does not fit the crime, and I believe that everyone from the judge, to the media has fucked up royally! This is sad, and a travesty, and a mockery of the difference between right and wrong, and it NEEDS to be corrected. JMO. 

I Don't Care... But I Care Enough To Tell You Why...

Alright, America... ENOUGH already! I am personally sick and tired of everything becoming a controversy!!! Seriously... before you know it, breathing will be offensive, so get your last final free deep inhales in before that is mandated and regulated, due to the endless supply of bitching from the soft skinned peaches that are running this country to Fuckedville, USA... I am so sick and tired of turning on the radio, and the topic has to be about the insensitivity of the masses of dumb asses that are littering the planet with more dumb asses that are softer than you can imagine... THIS COUNTRY IS PUSSIFYING!!!! You know why it is? Because we give too much of a fuck, about things that should not be public. Think about it... One mans faith is his faith... One mans sexual preferences is his sexual preferences... And for everyone to live on a soapbox just goes to show you that there is NOTHING that will be done in the means of peace and love with this fuckery still going on as strong as it is. Seriously, too much valuable energy and hate and care is being WASTED on the opinions, pride, faith, or lack thereof, for no reason but to try to piss off the offended by [fill in the blank].

Think about it... Why should we give a shit about anything? What is fighting or marching, or claiming going to do? All the bitching in the world aint going to make me skinny... All the blogging isn't going to make me famous. The serious issue here is that we care too much about the wrong things... For those who hates religion (no matter what faith you single out or if you have one whole hate for those who have faith), why waste your energy and time trying to point out the faults of the superfucked? For example, the asshole preacher who decided to try to show why servers hate serving christian parties (yes, even as one, when I saw these buttholes coming in, I was not excited, because I knew if I was lucky, I would have gotten a total of maybe 1 1/5 pennies from them), why are you fighting to get this girl her job back? What if she doesn't want her job back? Hell, after I was fired from one establishment that is not Twain's (seriously... it was another restaurant), I decided to hang up my apron for good... Best damn decision of my life. But why are you trying to fight for this girls job? Have you thought about the fact that she may not want it anymore? Do you realize that maybe a city block worth of windows may have been opened to her? But you are delaying her blessing, because you want to do a sit in or a protest, or sign a petition... So I ask... WHY DO YOU GIVE SUCH A STRONG FUCK ABOUT THIS!? Christians fuck up ALL THE TIME! I'm cussing up a storm in my goddamned blog as we speak! But that does not take away my faith in my Savior, and His sacrifice for me... FREE WILL, PEOPLE!!! There will always be assholes painted in all shades of shit. Nothing can be done about it... GIVE IT UP!!!! Don't think you are getting away that easy "O holier than thou..." Its your turn!!!

What does the sexual preferences of a man or a woman have to do with you!? Why do you have to give so much care about someones (should be) private life? We all want to go off and start quoting off scripture as if that is going to stop anything from happening, and it will not! You know why... FREE WILL!!! God knows the heart of each and every man that he has created. He KNOWS what is going on! Why do you feel so strongly to do His work for Him?! How about this... instead of trying to chastise and judge someone for being homosexual, why not trying to get to know them? In the 5 years, I have made some of the closest friendships with people who are gay. Why? Not because I want to support them, not because I believe they are right, wrong, or brave in making that choice for their life, NO... its because THEY ARE PEOPLE!!! I HAPPEN TO BE A FAN OF PEOPLE (believe it or not), AND THEY HAVE HEARTS, AND ARE SOME OF THE FUNNIEST, SWEETEST, MOST LOVING INDIVIDUALS THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH!!! I don't care if they like someone of the same sex! I don't care if they are proud of it, or still in the closet, or ready to be defiant to the world that has shunned them for whatever reason. I don't care if I am on the fence about issues that surrounds the gay community. Why? Because, I got to know them for them. I got to get to call them friends, and family because they are more than their sexual preferences! They bleed just like me. They laugh, cry, get angry, and live their lives for themselves, JUST LIKE ME!!! SO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU  to try to shun them away because of their lifestyle? The God that we all serve says to LOVE! 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8... We should love the person, not the choice. The choice does not, and should not matter. What do yall like to say (I say "yall" cause its sometimes so embarrassing and shameful to be associated with... yall...)? "Love the sinner, and not the sin?" Well, whats the exception with the gay community? Answer that one for me... STOP WITH THE SELECTIVE, AND ALL AROUND HYPOCRITICISM AND HATE!!! ITS EMBARRASSING!!!

Why do we care so much about things that should not be important? What is the fun in thinking that raising so much of an uproar is going to make you stand out? What is it about spreading hate that gets you off? Why  cant we just sit down and just figure things out as ONE BEING? I am so sick and tired of turning on the TV, and hearing that all these celebs are doing this that and the other, and no one is really giving a shit about what is really going on in Chicago. No one is still not giving a shit about whats going on in the 3rd worlds. No one is willing to tackle the real issues here in our back yard. Gun control is NOT a real issue. Kiss my ass, it is not. What about the foster kids all around this country being ignored for the little African, Russian, Korean  Chinese  Japanese kid? Why can't OUR kids have the same opportunities to live in a great and loving home? What about our politicians? Why are they making all the money, while I sit here broke for no reason? Why are these assholes whose goal is to fuck this country out of every resource it can, in these position of power? Why isn't there an uproar about why this country seems to be going backwards? I know why, because we care SO MUCH about who can and can't get married, or we want to get mad at a corporation and its by-laws... Oh yeah. that's right...  I forgot... we don't want to follow the rules... We want to live our own lives our own ways, and tell EVERYONE else that they are wrong... forgive me for stepping out of my place... I guess I should start talking about Downton Abbey, or The Kardashians, or Honey Boo Boo, right? Yeah... that's WAY more important...

We need to place the blame in the right place... we need to care about the right things... Once we do that, then all this other bullshit will not matter... Think about it, and allow it to sink in... I do expect a lot of feedback from this, and I will take every right hook you can throw. But you know what? This is how I feel, this is what needed to be said, and if I'm the only one to say it, then I stand alone. Nothing new.