EVERY THOUGHT MUST GO!!!

I will never hate to see you go.

2011-12-31T15:28:00.002-05:00

New Year... I swear it was May just 3 days ago. Apparently it's December, and it is also the last day of the year. Its amazing how time just flies when you are having fun, and are miserable. This past 12 months was just one big blur full of emotional let downs, revealing truths, focused decision making and happiness all around. With losses and gains, the balance of this road that made up 2011, has been one to remember, and to forget. It all started in January when I learned that the night of the Little Dragon show, my friend Ayanna Bell committed suicide. That threw me for a loop. March was a heavy month. I lost a friend, and my Uncle Billy to a massive heart-attack. My friend John Strickland lost his battle with cancer. I ended up a couple of weeks later losing my job. Lost it because my "potential" was showing its ass... but, what can you do? I have had 2 other jobs since, and I ended the year jobless... I started school, and I cant be happier with that decision. Life as I know it has FINALLY begun because I am actively going for what I want to do... I am chasing a dream. I lost my Grandfather to cancer in June. It happened just before South Carolina caught the 2nd out of the College World Series final game against Florida. And the week after Thanksgiving I lost my Uncle Frank. This has bee a year of loss for me, but that's just half the story... The Good is all the friends that I have. My friends have been the greatest thing in my world. They were there to help me find a job, they were there to help me to keep motivated through school. They have paid for my beers and food, given me tickets to Braves and Falcons games, I am beyond thrilled that I have been able to have good people around me. I want to thank you all for all you have done. If it was calling to see how I was, hanging out, whatever it was. you were there, and I thank you for it. :) So now that is all out of the way, 2011 was not a great year for me, and that is evident if you know me. But because it wasn't a good year doesn't me that there wasn't plenty of good moments. I went to Athens, GA for the first time, and I saw my Gamecocks win on the road. THAT was magical. I also got to hang out with my friend and his family for the day, That was fun. Watching my cousin get married, that was great, the whole time with both families, when both sides lost someone dear to all of us, that was great. The fact that I got to be around family, was amazing. Going to Braves games, sitting out in the hot ass sun on Memorial Day, watching my friend get tazed and walk away, LITERALLY walk away from it. He was tazered, and pulled the ends out, and walked away from it... never seen anything like that in my life. THAT was amazing, Going to Opening day of the Falcons, And just being able to go to school! This year, as shitty as it was, was worth it all. So, I say to you 2011, Thanks. You made me stronger mentally, and spiritually. Although you were bad, you were probably the biggest blessing I needed. So as happy I am to see you go, One last toast to you. 2012, treat me and my family and friends good... WE ALL NEED A BREAK! :) Happy New Years, guys!

The Cold Allows Me to Smile

2011-11-10T21:09:00.001-05:00

If there was ever a time to where God commands your attention, Fall and Winter is that time. With world slowing down and sleeping after a long summer, and the beautiful blue skies, the green and lush trees and lawns, and the warm golden sun, it is around this time that when you look up into the wide expanse that makes up the sky, you can finally focus on whats there... Tonight, there is a full moon, and stars all around... If that isn't seeing God, then I don't know what is... Not a sound outside but the sureness of the quiet that makes the cold season, Only thing you feel is the cold, and there is no better motivator, in all the world than the cold. Once you feel the pain, you have to find a way to get warm, and no better way to focus on whats important at the time, than the seasons to come... It is exactly as if God is saying to us... just slow down, and rest. I love this this time of the year... It is definitely my time to slow down refocus, give thanks and praise, and enjoy the people that matter--family and friends. This is the time where the ones you love, and love you, needs you the most... This is where you find the warmth that was taken by the turning of the earth. The warmth is not electrically charged, it is within, and its within the love that you have for each other. So, for those who hates to be cold, I can understand. Being alone with no one to love can be cold and heart breaking. Something that I do not want to experience. With that said, I am thrilled, and blessed, to have the friends and family that I do. Without them, winter would be no fun. All winter would be will be a time of loneliness, despair, and hopelessness. This time of the year was made for us, not to look sexy in our winter gear, not for us to cheer religiously at our favorite teams, not for us to think about what we want for Christmas, nor what we want to do for New Years. Winter is made for us to become closer to each other as a family, and as friends. So take the time to really make an effort to see friends, and family. A handshake in passing or a hug before a nice conversation with coffee or booze, just make sure that you warm the one thing that is important-- your heart. Now do you understand why I love this time of the year?

NO DOMESTIC OR WILD ANIMALS ALLOWED... anymore

2011-09-30T05:14:00.000-04:00

I don't want to own animals anymore... I don't want to adopt a dog, take in a stray cat, I don't want to deal with them anymore... Do I love animals? of course I do! I love my dog, and my 2 cats, but if and when I move out of this house, I will not own an animal when I'm by myself... I'm sick of the responsibility that comes with it, and most importantly, I'm sick of hearing everyone talk about them... When did it become fashionable to talk about your dog or cat as if they are children? When did animals become more important than people? Its like everyone wants dogs and cats more than children, as if its going to be cheaper to take care of them more than one child... It appears that a dog is a lot more work than a child, but what do I know? I don't have a child, and I hate taking care of my mothers animals... but, I know, and accept that I'm in the minority in this ideology. Just because, I don't want animals, I'm not going to discourage anyone from having one, and being loving to those animals, I just don't want to ever own another one myself... I know when I have children, they may want to have one, and I will most likely get them a dog, or a cat... But now a days, I have been turned off watching everyone bring there dogs around with them, feed them anything, cause of there birthday, and treating them, as if they are the most precious thing in the world... not my style... I do not want a dog or a cat, after this... and I don't need to think about this decision. I don't want to have an animal ever again... Another reason why I don't want one one ever again, is the fact that everyone has turned into such a fan, after it became such a crime when people fought them... but in nature, animals kill other animals for food... people who fight dogs are the worse for training these dogs to do that, but, there are people who are out there who his holding his or her family hostage with mental, physical, and spiritual abuse... I don't see you going to there house, or outside of there pressers with signs... There are people who has severe depression, or addictions that need help, I don't see you going to there aid, but one a puppy has a bad haircut, there you are ready to put up a fight... ITS A FUCKIN DOG!!! I know a lot of you may read this and think that I hate animals. I don't. I love dogs and cats... again, I just don't want one anymore... Society has put too much pressure on owning an animal, that I just don't want to go through it again... Don't get me started on the ASPCA commercials with Sarah McGlothlin, and shivering animals... Owning a dog or a cat has become a religion... and I'm not a fan of it. Don't want to do it anymore. I don't want doggie play dates, or go to a groomers, or own chewed up toys, or a house that smells like animals live here... I just cant see myself ever owning another animal with all the pressures of having one, and everyone falling in love with them because of one person being the victim of being famous... I am not a fan of it at all... I am going to love the ones I have, and when I'm done with that, I don't want anymore...

We flipped the switch

2011-09-22T02:05:00.000-04:00

And for the second time this year, the American public is in an uproar about the judicial system of this country... Am I surprised? I definitely am not... The people who are in an uproar are the same people that elected these people to power! Come election time, instead of just voting for whoever have the better name, or whatever, actually try to learn about these people, and know how they operate... Get to know these people that are to uphold the law. If you want justice done to those who did wrong, and for those who were wronged, then make sure you elect the people who want to uphold the law. Where am I going? Well, let me start from the beginning... Casey Anthony this year, left her daughter to die, as she went to party, and she left the body to rot in the car for like 4 days or something, then went on to finally dump the body... she got off scott free... Troy Davis, was another victim of being at the wrong place at the wrong time... He was accused of killing a cop, and 9 witnesses said he did it. Convicted and was given the death penalty. And for the last year or so, people realized that this man is possibly Innocent. With 7 of the 9 people recanted on there witness, and with so many holes in the whole story, the justice system has failed in the eyes of a lot... But lets think... did it? This is from my friend who posted on my comment from earlier:

Jarrett...I will tell you that this case was under review when I worked at the Parole Board. It was when all of the execution hearings began. I also know that there is a lot of information that people are unaware of and they are only basing their opinions on what they have heard or read in the media. This case, as all death penalty cases are, was looked over by several different justice agencies. I know the current parole board members to be kind-hearted people who would not be able to lay their head down at night if they had let an innocent man die.

My friend is right... What is it that we don't know? What is it that the media is actually not telling us? What are the things that we don't know? There is more going on than what the Media wants to tell us. The media, just like us, pick and chooses what we know and don't know, and we all fall victim to it. I'm not saying, that Troy Davis is or isn't a victim of circumstance... I'm not going to say that Casey Anthony is truly innocent, or guilty... but I know that to every story, there's a side that no one brings up... And as much as it may feel wrong, that an innocent man dies, and a guilty young lady walks free, its no ones fault but ours...

As I have stated before, and often, I DESPISE politics. I don't find it enjoyable to talk about, because, everyone wants to install fear when talking about it... "If we don't elect this person, this will happen!" Well, what if we do elect that person, and that person doesn't come through? Sounds familiar right now, don't it? "CHANGE" was suppose to happen... we appear to be in the same river of shit as before... Only thing that changed was the color of the leader... you got what you asked for. So, how do we combat the problem that we face now? How do we make everything work for us? How do we get the system to work for us all? Its a really simple idea... fallow me here... Instead of electing something different because of color, lets elect the right person for the job. I don't care if you agree with all of there ideals, or choices, lets elect the best person for the office. If someone has a great idea to have families get a discount on everything, but is a satanist and hates life as a whole, but the other guy is just the opposite in everything the satanist believes in, Id vote for the guy who best fits what I believe, even if its not the most popular... I know the example is really out there, but it gets you thinking...

Lets go back in time... lets go back to 2009. This is when I first learned of the war in Mexico that is killing kids, separating families, and drawing more Mexicans to come to our country in fear of there lives and families lives... Since the all the Cartels in Mexico has corrupted the country. Officials, and police officers were bought off, while these assholes run the streets of Mexico, killing families, having out right wars in the middle of the streets. Innocent kids are catching grenades, and men and women are being enslaved to work for these creeps, just so that Hippie McIwannagethigh, gets his fix... The selfishness lies in the people who wants to legalize any drug. People are living in Anarchy, so we can get high... How fuckin selfish are you!? We all want to march and be upset about human rights, and equal rights in THIS country, but not in the world... No wonder a lot of the athletes before the Summer Olympics didn't want to participate... people were moved out of there homes, and they were destroyed for the whole Olympic village and stadiums to be built... that's fucked up! But whats more fucked up is that we all want to get a high that we will never achieve, EVER again... We also, like to bullshit ourselves into thinking that its "so good for us." Its not only destroying a country, its destroying our lives, AND our families... But we don't care about them, unless we get what we want-- that yay! that sticky icky! that snow, that powder, that blow!

Another innocent man dies, another guilty person walks free...

When will the cycle stop? When will we all just finally take it upon ourselves to stop the marching, and the protesting, and actually get off of our asses and actually CHALLENGE the system that we put ourselves in? When will we finally learn from the mistakes of our dumbass choices? When will be finally wise up in life? Is it too late to? If anything we need to learn from this year of bullshit, is that we need to CLEAN IT UP!!! Again, I am not going to go around and telling you who to vote for, but I will tell you to be wise in your choices... ACTAULLY DIG IN AND FIGURE OUT WHO THE FUCK YOU WANT TO BE YOUR LEADER!!!

The only way that things will change is if we do it all with a clear and sober mind, and actually do some research... wait. Im starting to repeat myself... goodnight.

Offended?

2011-09-21T04:26:00.001-04:00

I don't know where to begin, or even how to begin when it comes to this subject, but I will try my best to convey my feelings about it all, in a respectful manner all around... Before I continue, I will let you know, that this will be a very rare blog for you to read. this is probably the only time you will see me use this word as many times ever. I don't use words that I don't like... I like the word "hate," cause its a genuine emotion. I don't like the word "stupid." but, I use it as an adjective to an adjective... usually yelling at an athlete when I use it, saying "YOU STUPID SHIT!" so, its not a good word, but I do use it... But the one word that I use VERY little, although, society, in this modern pop culture says that "I have all the rights to use it." I am just not a fan of the word, or the attitude that it carries... Why is it for one group of people to use the word, but not for everyone? Its becoming more common place and its starting to loose its sting amongst the masses... With rappers and black actors using the world in there everyday, it makes it hard for this generation to not know how far we have come to try to avoid that word ever being used... But now a days, its just common place.

Nigger is a dirty word. It didn't start off as a dirty word, because, it was a tree that was difficult to cut or break. But it was used back when the slave boats came all the way from over here to over there, and that's how they described the Africans that they traded for... And over the centuries, it became common place, and when you're out numbered, you had to take it... But as the revolution began, that word started to offend... and somewhere after Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, and when rap went mainstream to the shit that it is now a days... and you look at any face, and they can say the word "nigger" with no worry of consequence... Well, back in August, my friend experienced being called one for the first time... didn't sit well with him... it wouldn't have been an issue, if he wasn't making an ass of himself throughout the time we were where we were... So, story is, he had some white guy start pointing at him, and saying "I want a piece of that little nigger there." cops were called, another buddy was tazed, walked away, and everyone who held on to any sobriety, was embarrassed... we laugh now, but still... its not a laughing matter, when you're offended...

By the way, in any form you want to put it "Nigga, Nigra, Nigg, Wigger," its all going under the same title as "nigger." And that word has been put out there for everyone to use. Like I stated in the first paragraph, You watch any most black movies, or Quinton Tarantino film, Listen to any rapper who isn't white, except for Kid Rock (listen to the song "Black Chick, White Guy"), the word is prevalent... Its amazing, that we like to fight for freedom of speech with words as "nigger," but when it comes to talking about Christ, you cant say SHIT! Bring up Jesus, its offensive... but you say the word "nigger" its funny... I can count on my fingers and toes, and run out of all, to count how many times I've heard the word "nigger" come out of my co-workers mouths... directed to me, indirected to me, either way... what is now common place, is REALLY OFFENSIVE!!! But, like I tell people, I see myself as a rock at the bottom of the river... I take shit and just allow it all to hit me. I just stand there and take it... When I was called a nigger directly, it was after I saved this guy from getting his ass stomped by the entire bar... he said something about gays, and how they allow them in here, and over heard by a friend of mines, and it got heated, and Kelvin was on the bar, and then the girls went behind the bar, and the guys are trying to hold Kelvin back, and I'm trying to step in the way so these fucks could get out in one piece, and when he was in the parking lot, he goes off and starts saying "they allow fags in that bar! Fuck this place!" then he looked at me, after I saved him from being beaten down, and says "Fuck you too, nigger!" I just laughed, cause, you can call me everything you want under the sun, but if you call me that, and you proceed to try to put your hands on me, that's when shits going to end with everybody upset...

But, the same goes for people who use the words "faggot, and little people (yes. little people is an offensive term for me, because, the scientific term that is used is midget)" If you use the words out of context, then its wrong no matter how funny it may be. and that goes for everyone... Black, white, red, brown, yellow, whatever shade of human you are, you should never use anything to offend. it just shows weakness on your part... If you cant find a way to piss someone off outside of being offensive, then you have not real reason trying to be rebellious... and as humans, we cant become one body, when we are all trying to drag each other down to the same level of shit... Using the word "nigger," holds us back 12 years... we need to move forward as a people, and start being uplifting in love, and not generically calling us difficult to be with or around... I just dropped some knowledge on you... goodnight.

Preaching, and The Soapbox

2011-09-03T02:31:00.001-04:00

I know I'm not perfect, and God knows, that I don't ever want to try to be perfect... But, since Ive finally got past my writers block, and actually can think now, Ive realized a lot about people... We all want to have everyone else believe in what we believe... Be it food, beer, alcohol (there is a difference, fuck you), music, books, education, whatever... we all have your different stances on them all... I don't discriminate against food. I choose to eat what I want to eat, and I don't eat what I don't like to. I gag when I eat potatoes, when not in fry or tot form... I like veggies, but I don't eat them all the time. I drink way too much soda, and that's going to catch up to me if I don't stop soon, but you know, its all my choice! I can do whatever I want, and live with the consequences with my decision to go left or right, in whatever issue. Beer is good. Liquor is REALLY good... And I do enjoy both, and I don't go overboard often when I do drink. Its a fun thing to do. Its a great tool of social gatherings... It makes you meed a lot of great individuals that you would have never gotten to know, and love... But that's not what I'm blogging about... that was all an example of how bad it has gotten, when people stand on there soapboxes to preach to the world there beliefs... I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus died for the world, and saved us from the wrath of God through His sacrifice. I am humbled every day knowing that God loved me enough to give me the most dangerous gift, any higher power would give creation--free will. Oh... Ive mentioned this before? I'm sorry. but, I'm staying all that because people like to bring up the fact that Christians are the only ones who think they are high and mighty... Not quite true... see, a lot of people of... lets call it... alternative faiths or beliefs (those who don't believe in some form of a higher power) have something to say about us that do... so, if I tell you that there is one, and you say that there isn't, and you're going on and on and on about it, isn't that the same thing as me going on and on and on about the opposite thing you believe or don't? I'm just saying, if you wanna have a disagreement, go in with an open mind, and not with just some facts that you believe to be true... If I give you the time of day to listen to your bullshit, I think the same amount of time and respect should be paid, when I give you a spat about my bullshit... Cause, if anything, lets agree to disagree, and actually leave each other with some sort of respect, and no type of hate or discourse cause of our different views on life... That's hard to do in todays' media saturated world... with YouTube, and Twitter, and Facebook, we all can just go on and on about "what doesn't make us happy" and post it on our many different pages, and agree with one mans opinion and have an opinion of another that we disagree with. Its a fucked up roller coaster... I believe that we, as a country, needs to pay more attention about whats going on in our country, than we need to pay attention about the government overthrows in the Middle East. Not a popular opinion, but the popular opinion of "witnessing history" doesn't make me a bigger history fan, than what I am now... There I go back on my soapbox again! DAMMIT!!! I can't get off! but anyways, just think about it... if anything, just try to find some sort of common ground to at least be friends, and not enemies, in ALL aspects of our lives... Why do we go to bars? We all like drinking right? Why do we cheer for our teams? Cause we all love them right? Why do we all hate or love our jobs? Cause that's something we have in common to keep us all to be the same... We all have to find and appreciate, the things that we BOTH like, as friends or enemies to keep the peace in life. Now, I'm getting off of my soapbox... Good night.

Life. Life. Life.

2011-06-27T23:56:00.001-04:00

I'm starting to finally get the meaning of life... Life is learning. Everyday you grow, either physically, or mentally, or spiritually, or all the above... And this year, I have grown so much. Some lessons comes later than others, but all the while, you have to constantly look up and ask, "What am I to learn from this?" Life, is just gaining lessons all the way up til its time for you to go. And, to be honest with you, I hate the term "No Regrets." I do. How are you to grow without learning from your mistakes? With everyone, thinking that you can just live life, without remorse, or with no consequence to your actions, You're going to be left wondering where life went... I just lost my grandfather tonight, and although we weren't as close as I would have liked, my family is my family, and they are the one thing in this world, that I know I can fall back on. But, all the same, life should be celebrated, and mourned. Mourned for the fact that all the work, we could have done to make our loved ones better was all for nothing, and celebrated, because, they did a hell of a job to make us the people that we are today. Without the ones we laughed with, fought with, verbally or physically, took punishment from, allowed us to grow mentally, and spiritually, while giving us leeway to make our way, we would be just lost, and without a reason to move on to be better individuals. Could I be a different person if my dad was in my life more? Sure! Could I be different if I was more vocal? Of course! But, I am who I am, because of the lessons that I learned on the way, to this point. And lovingly, the lessons I got, got me to this point so far. Thank God. The people I love and the people that I need the most, are the greatest gift that I am blessed to have. That includes friends and family. THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is the meaning of life.

From The Bottom Of My Heart.

2011-06-23T07:27:00.001-04:00

Sleepless nights like the one, I had tonight, is just an indication that, something bigger is about to happen for me. With the shitty year that I have been having so far, it couldn't come at a better time. With a fire getting under me, to finally do something with myself, it was the greatest decision to ride out this river of shit, called misery. With family, and friends, and complete strangers praying for me, I can now start to feel them working, as life begins to turn around. I hope... But before, I can really start to feel the affect of happiness, I feel as if I need to get a couple of things off my chest... And, its not what you think. Its not even one of those things where I am asking for you to listen to how I hate life right now, or how, I wish that life was different, no! Yes! I do hate life, and I wish that life was different. But I am here to say to everyone that I love, dislike, hate, mistreated, under appreciated, over appreciated, took advantage of in whatever form, annoyed, talked about, laughed at, laughed with, cried over, cursed, lied to, and broke promises to that I am truly sorry.

In my 28 years of living on this planet that holds 2 promises, rotation and death, It took me til now to honestly have the courage to look into the mirror, and in my heart to know that, I need to make room for the new, and getting rid of the old. And most of the old, is all these memories that I cant seem to shake. The moments that I am embarrassed about ever happening, is whats keeping me up at night. The mistakes, and the lies, and the wanting to be the victim, is all getting in the way, and is holding me down... So who's first to apologize to? How about the people that are the closet to me? My family.

To my Mom, my Dad, my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, and my beautiful little sister, I am sorry. I'm sorry for not calling more often, or coming around more often, and just appearing to not give a fuck. I do. I do care about you, and what you mean to me as an individual. I love y'all so much, and I don't know if I will ever be able to truly express my joy of being apart of the exclusive groups that I was born into. But, I do love you, and I do want to be a bigger part of the family. I cant promise you that I will start showing my face more, but, I just want you to know that I love you, and that I appreciate all the prayers, and the thoughts. I know that I have under achieved in my life, but, thank you for being my biggest fans.

To my friends back home in South Carolina. Where do I begin to start my apology? I don't know... I guess I can start by admitting that I was an asshole... Ive allowed my ignorance to get the best of me, and I allowed my wants to become bigger than my love and appreciation for you. The jokes we shared, and the multiple laughs, not to mention the sweat, and the good times on the gridiron, just goes to show that, you will ALWAYS have a place in my heart, in my mind and in my soul. Thank you for opening your doors, hearts and arms to me. Thanks for taking, and ignoring my many phone calls, and I'm sorry for wasting your gas as you went back and forth to pick me up from my grandmas house... OH! and whatever trust I may have severed, I don't blame you as well.

To my friends here. I am blessed to be in this industry, blessed, to fall in love with so many different souls, and I thank you for the multiple nights full of laughter, but I know that I may have pissed some of you off with saying something, gesturing something, or even not doing something. I am sorry. The way I acted around you when I was/am going through the last 4 months of life has been personally unacceptable, but, through it all, you have been there, and you have accepted me, and I am grateful. But I am really, and truly sorry, for my actions, towards you, if I offended you in any way. Y'all mean the world to me, and I don't want to loose any of y'all.

I feel better... I haven't, and will not go into anything super personal, but for those friends and family members that I have done wrong deeply, I am very very sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you that way, or any way for that reason. Life would be different for all of us if my actions was different, but, I do love you, and I am truly sorry.

With all that said, I think I can finally move on in life. I can begin to feel better and allow my life to flourish. I just have to be more aware of my surroundings and actions, and I will grow... As life continues, and I try to stay afloat, and move on in this river of shit called life, I can feel better about myself as a person who's trying to make an impact in the world. I love y'all dearly. Thanks for allowing me to be apart of your lives.

Negative Minus Subtraction

2011-06-20T11:59:00.000-04:00

Being positive is a burden, it seems. But, this is all a part of the test, that is... This sucks so much. Being in this position, that, I wasn't expecting to be thrown in, and it seems that the best medicine is to be negative. It seems as if everyone is suppose to be on this all-happy, the world is great type of mentality. But what does this over-exposure to happiness teaches us? Teaches us the delusion of positivity... Not to be a debbie downer (pun SO intended), but life isn't real, unless you go through some shit, and lucky me, Ive gone through a TON of it, and still am. And, I find it easier to just be depressed, than to "go out and make something of yourself!" Sometimes, its just easier to just allow life to go full circle, before trying to make it all better... as much as I would like to have a new career/job, its probably easier for me to just stay where I am and just wait all of this out... searching, has become fruitless, and full of nothing at the end, so, I will just count my small blessings in misery, and just continue to live life, as if it will, eventually, get better. Its easier, than straining myself to get to the top... Ill just stay here. I'm content. for now... things may change in a week, or a month, or even later in the year... but, right now, all I want is to just get through this. So, if I don't smile, or laugh, or seem or appear happy, I'm not. How long will this last? Not sure... Would I like for this to end soon? YES! But, I'm willing to just try to make it through. So, here we go, through tunnels, and rain.

Next Step... GO!!!

2011-06-17T00:37:00.001-04:00

Life has decided to throw, yet, another curveball, and again, I walk to the dugout that is, this LONG UNFORGIVING GAME, that we all know, love and hate equally... This week, I haven't made $30 bucks yet, and I'm slowly going into debt, and I feel that I'm backed in a corner... Life, this year, just sucks assholes and balls... the year isn't even half over, and I'm so ready for the next year... I know things will be a lot better by then. hopefully... So, what am I going to do with myself? I'm going to school... if I'm not going to make money, I need to do something with my time, that doesn't require me sitting on a computer all day, waiting for the work day to begin, and go through the motions, to where I wait around for 3 hours before the first table comes in. I need to do something that requires for me to do something all day, to expand, not only my mind, but my social life, and maybe drop a pound or 100... I have learned that God helps those who help themselves, and I'm going to help myself, with something other than dreams... Action! Gotta do something. I have been sitting around just getting fat, and even more unhappy the more I think about it... I have to break through this invisible wall of fear that I somehow built with laziness... and now, it's time to quit being me, and start becoming me. I guess this is what Ethan was talking about when he claimed that I have "too much potential for this place." Well, unfortunately for a lot of us... our potential comes later in life, and never within the crunch of the 18 years where we want to be what we dream, and never what we have to accept as reality... I think I know what I finally want to do with myself... took me 10 years, and wasting money to go to a small automotive school, but I think I got it... so, fuck the world, fuck my world, and Imma step out for a breath of fresh air... excuse me.

Smiles Shouldn't Be Heavy.

2011-06-05T03:17:00.000-04:00

In a year full of death, confusion, hurt, and devastation, Ive met my fair share of nice people, assholes, and seen people turn from and to. With all that has happened in the past 4 months, I can say, that it has not been a great year... But, of all the days that I could have put an honest smile on my face, today was it. Tables all day, and, running into old friends, it was as if things were trying to turn itself around... Before I get into the meat of this blog, I have to tell you this... I don't care if you believe, or if you don't, or you're confused, got questions or anything... I KNOW the power of God and the blessings that happened today ALONE, made it all worth while at the end. In the book of Job, Satan went to God, and made a bet (for lack of a better term) with God, that His most faithful servant would fall, and curse His name... So, with permission, God allowed Satan to fuck Jobs' world UP!!! His house, his kids, and his crop and livestock, all destroyed, and his wife left him... And he got sick. So, when God Gave permission, Satan took FULL advantage... And all the while, Job remained faithful. And just like the bible is, its a book of examples of how life is shitty, but God stays faithful to whats His... So, with that said, I have been in the same boat. I lost a good friend. I lost another good friend to Cancer. I lost an Uncle to a heart attack. I lost my job, I almost got kicked out, I am broker than our economy, And my Grandfather is dying of Cancer... This year has NOT been the greatest, as we all know from the last few blogs... But, tonight, was just the crack in the wall. A table that I was serving, was a couple, in there mid to late 40's and, they came in for a burger and beer. Super nice, real simple, and before they ate there food, the Gentleman, who's name I never got, asked "Whats your name?" I told him, and he said: "Well, Jarrett, is there anything that we could pray for you about?" And it took me a second, and I told him, " Just for a better year." And instantly, I just felt better... I know that life is to do what life does, and that's to be full of ups and downs, and happy times, and sad times... But you have got to keep living, and keep moving. Cause, if you have it bad, someone has it better, and someone else has it a hell of a lot worse... So, I don't know where I stood, but I know, that I was sent 2 souls who cares about me, and don't know who the hell I am. That made me feel so much better... It makes you realize that life is just a feather... you just have to let it float on. So, just that small act of kindness, really didn't make me look at them as if its any other table... they could have tipped me 2 cents, I wouldn't have cared, cause, there hearts were big enough to make me smile, a real smile for the first time in a while. And seeing several familiar faces was amazing as well. Tonight was a good night. And things, seem to start turning around for the better... Thank God. So, to those who pray for those, keep praying... you don't know who's day you will make. You don't know who's life you will touch. A smile, a hug, all works too, but, something about prayer... wow. It just feels good. :) Genuinely happy over here. Good night y'all.

its been too long

2011-06-03T14:11:00.000-04:00

Hey guys. I'm sorry again about the delays. life, just generally sucks now a days... I'm working a shitty job, I'm not even making enough money to really survive... And, today alone, I have been job searching... Everything is automated now a days, and when they tell you to go on the websites, they lead you to some bullshit, to where, they don't need your ass... its fucked up... but, this is my goal... I DO NOT EVER want to work in the food industry again. I'm honestly done with it. I lost my love for it... I have got to do something else with myself other than that. So, I'm looking for something else... Its not going to be easy, but, I'm doing the best I can... when times are tough, you have to do things you hate doing like, what I'm doing right now... And that's sitting in a library, trying to find something that's available job wise... even, get up and get out, and try to find a job... But, it has to be done, and that's what I'm doing. If you haven't read any of the last few blogs, you know that life has just generally sucked Satan's asshole for me. And this year, isn't even half done... I know that something bigger than me is about to happen, but, the one thing, that I'm known for, is being pushed to the limit, and that is my patience. I am now learning that patience isn't just waiting around. Its more getting up and doing something with yourself... Cause, blessings will come for sure... but sometimes you just have to put forth an effort to find what it is, you're looking for, or even want. so, that's how life works. You have to put forth an effort, even a small one, to get whats coming to you. I guess, more or less, I'm still not over all of it, but, I'm trying. But, I just wanted to send you an update on my life, and let you know whats going on, and I hope to have a computer up and running very soon. And, hopefully by July, Ill be able to do this again, and get all of you readers back on my blog. Thanks a lot guys for your prayers, thoughts, and good luck, you've sent me over the past few months. It hasn't gone unnoticed.

"And When Adversity Come Again, I'll Deal With It Then."

2011-04-01T02:06:00.000-04:00

So, Im back, for a little update on life... As far as Im concerned, March, can lick my ass... I am so done with it, and Im glad that its April finally, so, I wont have to go through the shit, that I went though ever again... Loosing my Uncle Billy, my friend John Strickland, and my job, I've finally found a small way to make myself feel better. At least, a little better... I found a job, and... its ok... its not in Decatur, and its corperate, but, its something... Im just holding out hope for another job, but, you know, if anything, I got something that makes me feel a little better... Something to kinda take my mind off of the bullshit that happened, earlier this month... as I have mentioned in my last blog... The only thing that I wish I did, was take a little bit more of a break, but, bills, wouldnt allow me to break... I needed a job... :shrugs: what can you do right? So, after finally getting the job, I now realize that, Imma have to get more money somehow... And what sucks is the fact, that getting over the loss of such a great job, is going to take a lot longer than one would expect... Its ok though... The Good Lord provided me with this one, and He will provide me with something else... But at the same time, God may be preparing me for something bigger than what I think is the biggest thing out there... Who knows right? Anyways, this blog stemmed from a song, that, I really love from Gnarles Barkley, called "A Little Better." It talks about, just making it, and fighting to keep what you have thats dear to you--sanity. It's what makes the ones who are not famous, out to be... the ones who seen shit, felt shit, and knows how to, not only deal with shit, but to get through shit... And to actually be thankful of the things that ones would usually be ashamed of, but, not, because, they did it for show, but, lived through it... And, right now, that song, is who I am right now... Im just making it... and I am feeling "a little better." Thank God. Good night.

Lets Talk About Emotions... Shall We?

2011-03-21T22:19:00.000-04:00

Hey guys!!! Ive missed ya! :) I honestly have... I do apologize for the delays of blogs, but, my computer (which, I am not on now), decided to say "Im not going to work for you anymore, you fat fuck!" and, I literally lost everything on the my computer, as it decided to reset itself... yay me! But, my last blog, was dedicated to my friend who committed suicide... And then, it just feels as if, life, has been just one big bomb after another... So, I will tell you this. This blog will be long. I will be updating life, since February 1, 2011, and just keeping you infromed from then, to now, and what I hope to have accomplished in the near future... so, bear with me, sit back, get a bag of doritos, and enjoy. HERE. WE. GO!

Well, I am now 1 year older. I turned 28, back on on the 19th of February, and that night, turned out to be one that ended in regret, but, Thats what I was hoping for... You always gotta set a goal. Mines, happen to er to get the one regret out of the way. One a year... something to focus, and keep yourself from being too big for your own damn self. So, after that, Iwent through the rest of the month, trying... TRYING to save money for Canada... But, with work, and bills, its hard to hold on to a little bit of money. With that said, I am very happy to have been better at saving money. Im doing pretty good I think... Well, that was The rest of that month, NOW let me tell you all about March...

This has, by far, been the toughest time Ive ever experienced in my life. With Emily, loosing her father on the morning of March the 5th, that was a tough blow. Why? Because on February 28th, that monday, There was a huge benefit helf to help with her fathers mounting hospital bills... Friends and family of John Strickland were all there, to just be able to love on him... unfortunately, yet fortunately, we all got to say and have out peace with him, before, he died... Its amazing how God works, cause, his son, came into town to suprise him the The day before he died... So, it has definiately been a stretch of time, that was purely emotional, and awe inspiring... The Memorial service was held for John, at Twain's It was full to the brim, of people who knew, and loved John. I was just blessed to work that night, to share, and feel the love of the Strickland Clan... That was on held on the 9th of this month... On March the 7th, I recieved some bad new, about a loss in my family. The family, that shares the same genetic line as I, family... I woke up to a text from my cousin, saying, that our Uncle Billy died of a massive heart attack. He leaves behind my Aunt Rabbit, and there 2 boys, Simon and Solomon. It has definitely been a very emotional 2 weeks, for me... That stretch of time, was never something I would ever wish for anyone to go through... But wait! This story gets better, and leads me into the title...

So, on Monday March 14th, 2011, I recieve a text from Emily, mentioning that all meetings are still on as scheduled... So, at 4pm, March 15th, I went in, and with a new facial hair do, and wishing Happy Birthday to her, I learned that I was being "fired." Didn't use the term "let go," no... FIRED. And I learned that I was not the only one being let go... The reason for my "firing" is because he feels that "I have too much potential for this place." and, All the while, I am thinking, as if this was all a joke. So, when, I was given the option of finishing out the week... I definitely took it, cause, again... I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS ALL A JOKE! But, on Wednesday March 16th, I learned that it was real, when I over heard a convo held by her, and another individual... So, once, I learned that it was real, I was DEVASTATED!!!

So, now, we are to the meat of this blog, and live as of now... I have learned in the past 5 days, that devastation is a collection of more than 6 different emotions. In this time, of learning of my firing, I went through disbelief, worry, depression, sadness, anger, betrayal, hurt, shock, and "that unexplainable, feeling, that is nothing short of what I think, and interprate "devastation" to feel like. Pure devastation literally feels like what I think a football would feel like on kickoff... once you're in the air, only got knows where, and when, and now you are coming down... sometimes, you get caught, sometimes, you get dropped, and sometimes, you got all the way out of bounds... but, that few seconds of air-time you just feel like you dont know what the fuck is going on... And, all the while, youre thinking of all the things that you did for one person, and try to make the situations better, and you're just coming up with all the times, you displayed love to the ones who ultimately hurt you so deeply, all the times, you've asked me to step it up, all the times, Ive stayed late, been fucked over, and still smiled, and laughed and hugged for 3 years... and shared millions of laughs, at thousands of bad jokes, and shared loved... All just boils to, this feeling, that I literally never felt ever, in my life... Devastation kills souls.

So, how is one to act while devastated? Well, I decided to drink a lot... A LOT! A lot, even for me... so, if you saw me on March 16-19, and I was talking a lot about all the drinking I did, and was planning on doing, I do apologize, for spilling out my guts about my feelings, about the events that happened this past week... It has been so hard to actually try to center my feelings about the entire thing, cause, I was literally kicked in the mouth of my heart. Cause, like mentioned in the last paragraph, Ive shared so much of who I really am with these people, that I still love, although I was thoroughly wronged by. So, playing out my interpertaion of this emotion, may have not been the healthiest, but, its what I did, and what Im healing from... My heart has dealt with a lot in the past 3 weeks, and I just know that God got my back. I will be alright... Ive already recieved so many job offers, that, its just a matter of choosing where I wanna work... So, Imma be ok. And I will be alright, to find jobs for friends who need it more than I. For example... On Friday, a friend of mines, who the bar manager at my favorite bar in Midtown, offered me a job on the spot... and, I politely declined, cause, my friend Sara, was in more of a need of a job than I ever will be... not saying that to say, that I will never have trouble finding a job. Who knows, I may end up having a very hard time finding one... But, she needed a job more than me, so I asked my friend to offer her the job... As of March 21, 2011, Sara will be working in The Atlantic Grille. And, it feels good to help those who needs it... She needed it, I have the pleasure, of being a great server, with a big heart, so, getting her a job at one of my favorite places, makes me feel great. but, I was still hurting...

March 20, 2011, was the hardest day to deal with in my life, so far... The day of my Grandmother Rubys' funeral, wasnt this hard... Anyone, and everyone knows, that I am a damn good, and damn hard worker... But, when you have the motivation, of being fired for no reason... Im sorry, no REAL reason, it kinda makes it hard, to wan to leave it better... Whats going to happen, Imma get a phone call from someone telling me to come in and sweep the game room? Whats gonna happen... Imma get fired (HA! IM FUCKIN FUNNY!!!)? But, it was the hardest night of my life... Ive never shared a collective moment of unhappiness, of the unexplained events, that lead to the loss of employment of me, an 5 of my family members. My now former co-workers were my family. Although we may have had our disagreements, our moments of love, laughter, and great times, and the stories. All my memories, will last, but, will not have the same feel, like it has been, when, I thought, I was loved... I do hope Imdoing a good job, but IM trying my best to express my anger without being angry... IM trying to maintain my appreciation of the last 3 years, that I gave to this company, and have invested into everyone who was proud to work there... The people, I've encountered, the beautiful lives that Ive had the privilage to fall in love with, all, were just taken back to an emotion to where, its a smile, and not a smile and a laugh... you take away the laugh, all youre left with is, what feels like lies. That night, between the hugs, and the hurt, and the tears, I finally broke down. Early Monday Morning, March 21, 2011, I broke down into tears, asking "What did I do to deserve this?! What the FUCK DID WE DO!" And after a shot of Whiskey, and the love that Tyler showed me, by just listening, I finally got out my feelings of this whole week, and this whole year... I broke down, and I told the stories, of what I dont know, And the bullshit answer I got in my meeting... The passionate love and hurt that Scott showed me and Powell, The drilling of Emily by another family member, to get some sort of explaination of what the fuck is going on, And the tears out of another, displaying his hurt of the whole situation. Its been a journey, that I do not wish my worst enemy to ever experience...

So, what did I learn through all of this? Ive learned, that the people that you love, should definiately be checked... If there was actually some sort of honesty, and transparency, that, they preached, This whole blog would be in a different tone, and probably a hell of a lot shorter... But, to be devastated, the way that I was over something, that I probably will never know the HONEST TRUTH of, I am honestly left with a bitter taste in my mouth. I am not happy with how this whole situation happened, and, like I mentioned earlier... God will provide... he has provided me with that job, and he will provide me with something better, with people who will be real with me. Its definately been a hurricane of emotion for me, and I do not ever want to experienced EVER again. Make sure, that you know who are the people who will be real with you, regardless of the situation. Allow your employers to be real with you. Make sure that they are... As you can tell, Im not going to get into the details of all that I've learned, during this entire time of difficulty, but, I can tell you, that I will never look at those people the same way. As appreciative I am to have loved them, and recieve the love they gave me... Its gonna take a TRUE minute to show my face around there again. And to the rest of my family, Thank you for allowing me to fall in love with you. You will never go unloved for a long as I live...

And to end this blog (finally lol), I just want to thank EVERYONE who has loved me during this time. It will be rewarded, you've all seen me, at my most confused, most hurt, most sad, most depressed, and you were all there for me. God only knows, the depth of appreciation and love I have for yall... This was not an easy week, and not an easy way to end the month, but, just like with anything, life continues, and you just have to keep pressing forward. One particular friend of mines, was one of the most impactful in helping me through all this. Emma Shew, 3 years ago, was going through a hard time, and, I spontainiously written a poem to her, that she turned around to help me out through this... And it did... so, I share it with you now.

"I was sitting down and thinking how I could make it all better
But what I came up with, appeared to be a myth, and would hold the weight of a feather.
So with this little poem, I just want you to know, that All will be much better
As soon as you allow, what happened to somehow, turn into that feather."

Such is life... I cant promise Ill be on regularly, but, Im just so relieved to finally get it out. :) HAPPY READING GUYS!!!

ever wonder whats beyond the harizon?

2011-02-01T04:16:00.000-05:00

Its always something SMALL that will get you out of the funk that you're in... As most of you know, last week, I lost a friend who was dear to me in my life... We weren't close, but, her impact on me, was definitely felt, and wont be forgotten... But, through the week, of questioning, and all that, I had my relief today... It came in the form of seeing a friends name pop up in one of my many ways of communicating... This friend of mines, is honestly an angel. And God sent her at the right time. :) It was a short conversation, just a catch up really... She let me know, how life was for her, I told her how life was for me, but, we had something in common, yet again, and it was beautiful, cause, It made life easier to deal with, in the since of getting over the loss, and just allowing life to move on... Cause, the best way to honor the dead, is to live your life to the fullest. and that may be in the same vein, as moving on, as being inspired through tragedy, as being willing to motivate yourself to be better in all ways possible... But, it only takes a small spark to set a forest on fire... Don't go off, and start setting forest fires, but, the metaphor is break out of the funk, and find a reason to smile, and move on. :) Its about time I made lemonade... cause, the lemons were piling up. Good night :)

"Tell Me What Led You On, I'd Love To Know"

2011-01-27T04:19:00.001-05:00

Heavy hearts leads to heavy emotions. It's has been a journey to try to wrap my head around the loss of a good friend of mines... I learn of this loss after I woke up Wednesday afternoon, and all I felt, before, was an unexplainable emotion of peace and excitement, after enjoying a night of witnessing for the first time, one of my new favorite bands play live, Little Dragon. It was so wonderful to enjoy good music live again... its been a minute since I went to a concert, and it was what my soul needed. But what I didn't need was the sad news of knowing that a friend of mines, with an award winning smile, died... As far as I know, it was an apparent suicide that took her life, but, I want to hold out hope that its not true... Maybe it was an accident, or it was an asshole who did it, and made it look like she did... I don't know how she went, but, I know that Its not easy to fathom the fact, that such a great woman, and friend, is dead... Its never easy to grasp the reality of death... I knew for 2 years, that my grandmother was going to die, but the day she died, wasn't easy, nor was the funeral... I tried to hold it together, but when my cousin started crying, I lost it... Saying good-bye is never a good day... Saying good-bye is never a good feeling... Saying good-bye is never easy, but it is what it is... God knows what He's doing when days like this occur. Its just so hard to believe that for a life with such a testimony of God's goodness, was too hard to handle anymore... I wonder what goes through the minds of those who's ready to end it all? Is there no tomorrow? Is there no way of seeing the impact that you had on the world by carrying a smile, or a good joke? Do you visualize the impact of making the conscious decision to end it, and what it could do to the ones that loves you? Like I have mentioned before in other blogs, I fight with depression, and I do have the occasional suicidal thought, but, no matter how low I may feel, or how shitty things turn out to be for me, I cant fathom allowing the world to win... But, who knows. I say that now, but, what about the next time? Will I have the strength to continue? Will I have the reasons to live? Or will, that time, be the time that push me to painlessness, peace, and rest in the arms of God? I do not EVER want to get to that point, but, God may test me, and see how much I can take... I can take a lot I know, but, I don't know if I can take whats it store, but you know? I hope I do. What is something I learned in this tragedy? Ive learned to make sure that the loved ones know that you love them. You don't have to say it, but they just need to know. I could be through a hug, it could be through just hanging out, it could be through a shared laugh, or even a pat on the back, but you have got to allow those to know that you love them. If you don't love yourself, then find a reason to love that thing that everyone else either loves about you, or doesn't. Cause in the end, you are all that you have in this world. That, and the faith you place in whatever it is, that is your higher. You just have to allow yourself to see through today. Although, its not promised to ANY of us, tomorrow is brand new. Allow tomorrow to be a motivation to just make it through the pain and the heartache you feel right now. If you are on the brink, try to find a way to get it out... Just allow your talents to flourish... Why do you think I made this blog? I made it to keep my sanity, and to advance my love of writing. But, with heavy hands, and heart, I say to Ayanna Bell, I love you, and I thank you for the impact you have made on my life. You were intricate in my spiritual development, and I cant wait to see you again, But until then, rest in peace, hun, and my the Good Lord hug all the pangs of life away, and you enjoy eternity, and the beauty that I imagine it has. I will miss you, so will your family, your FBA family, and your handsome son... I wont be there for your home going service, but I will be praying for your family... Good-bye Ayanna... I'll see you soon...

"But I may not get there with you."

2011-01-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has a day dedicated to him... it's usually around the time of his birthday that the United States and the World celebrates the life, and sacrifice of a peaceful man, who's message of racial equality is remembered and celebrated. The life of a boy who had nothing, in Atlanta, Georgia, to a man who lead people to days like today, in a country where "my children will not be judged by the color of there skin, but by the content of there character,"is possible cause of him, and the other peaceful revolutionaries of yesteryear, to make it possible for me to like whatever the fuck I want to like, do whatever I wanna do, and not be judge for it, because, of my skin color. MLK Day is definitely a great day to remember where I came from, and how far my family had to go, just to have me, be assured that I can live in a country that is a lot better off in race relations than what they had to go through... You can tell the impact of it, throughout the country. especially in the sports arenas... men and women of all colors and creeds can all sit down at there favorite teams arena, and cheer on the common goal... to cheer on there favorite teams... we can all go to the same restaurants, and talk and gab and laugh and drink the night away, because of the "dream" that Dr. King had all those years ago... And today, dream come true... BUT... Now a days, I don't enjoy the day as much as I use to! Its not because, I don't get a guaranteed day off of school or work anymore... I don't care about all that... honestly... What makes it so hard to enjoy, for me personally, is the fact, that now a days... because of everyone political agenda, its been turned into some sort of political, reminder... but now a days, what isn't a political agenda... Having to go take a shit, is now a political crisis... But anyways... I don't think Dr. King wanted his day to be something to hang a political hat on... I think he wanted it to be a day of celebration... Celebration of a life dedicated to the equality of all people... But, just like today's "democracy" craves, its not a reason to be all political about... I'm not talking about someone being all out and about about what they think Dr. King was like politically, I'm just talking about how the media portrays this day... asking these "black leaders." what it means, and blah blah blah... also, they ask the sports stars of today, on why the impact of MLK is so huge... and again, no problem with that... but, when did it become so damn important to ask all these people about it, every year? And when I watch TV, I don't want to watch that... I just want to watch what I want to watch, and not be bombarded with images of "the impact of MLK on the athlete of today," or some shit like that... Lets just have a day set aside to celebrate equality as one nation, as one people, and not allow, the media to make it into a big deal... Its already a big deal, but I don't need the media to make me remember how much of a big deal it is, when we know its already a big deal. They teach it in elementary school, make you do reports about it in middle school, have you write a 10 page paper in high school, and have you debate and discuss it in college, so I think that the media don't need to do anything more than what its doing to remind me about the impact of Dr. King... He was a great man, who's kindness was taken as fear of an up rise... he was assassinated, because, he was viewed as a threat. Its fucked up that he was viewed that way... All he wanted was peace... He marched for it... he sacrificed his home, and life for it, and now, today, as a hard fought dream, I can tell you, that I am very appreciative of his vision... Thank you Dr. King... But please, media... Stop saturating whats already so prevalent... you're desensitizing it all...

I See One Thing, You See Another... So Lets Make Lemonade.

2011-01-18T14:24:00.000-05:00

I like to watch people, and I find supreme entertainment in listening to people as well... I don't like to talk that much, but when I do have something to say, its hard to have people listen, because, my thoughts, and beliefs aren't mainstream. As most of my friends know, I'm a Christian. I am not devout, but, I believe, and I'm happy that God has forgiven me through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus. But, as most of you know, you wouldn't tell, that, by the fact, that I hate church, and I try to live as it says in Matthew 5:16 "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." So, although my words may not be such a way to, I do try to live right... and, I hope my impact on the world around me is one that is felt, and remembered. But, tonight, I as trying to figure out a way to talk to you without going all "christian" on you... so, I figured, we start with one of the few reasons of why a lot of people, don't want to have anything to do with God... The term "sin," as defined in the bible, is anything that's not pleasing to God, i.e. lying, or pre-marital sex, or killing, or flicking off your co-workers who is just the complete fuckass who deserves more than just a finger in there face... Anything that will ultimately bring shame to the goodness of The Father... But what if we turned off the term "sin" and called it what it really is... "Human Nature." Would it be enough to consider God? Cause, human nature is exactly what put Jesus on the cross to die for our... human nature. And having something to believe in, that isn't tangible, is not weakness, its blind hope. Ill admit... its something that, in today standards don't make since, with the laws of "go-go, and gotta have it." But, for some of us, we don't need life to be that fast, or full of experiments or stories of regrets that we try to laugh off as "a good time." But, its whatever is cleaver... I could go on and on all day, about it, but it wont do any good... But, back to what I'm saying, If we took the term "sin" and give it a term, that would be better for the ears of the rebellious, and called it, what it truly is, "human nature," Would you be open to me, talking to you, about my faith? Cause, all human nature is, is the wants, and the likes of things, that can do, harm to us... For example, eating too much, drinking too much, and so on and so forth... Human nature, is what our body likes, more or less... like the old Lays Potato Chip commercial slogan, "You cant eat just one." if your body likes it, its going to be something that it will want to feel good, to feel normal, to function... so, when you have an excess of something, that your body likes, it can do harm to you physically, mentally, spiritually, all the above. To find happiness, and solitude into that thing that we like so much, can take us away... it can do harm in the future. Now, without something bigger than us, we would fall short, and die off into a life of not knowing peace in body, and spirit, if we continue to allow, those things, to make us feel good... The only thing about the things that make us feel good is that once they are gone, we go back and get some more from where ever we can go and find it. So, we take those things, that we like, and our human nature makes it a "god" that we slave ourselves to. So, the things we love like, sex, money, food, drugs, or a good time, we make our masters, and cover up the fact that we worship these objects with a word called "addiction." Addictions are demons that pulls us towards the things we want, and it forces us to take part in the activities that, ultimately, hurts us. We all have our addictions and vices that makes use continue to move on in this life, but, these things will continue to allow our human nature to grow and bigger and stronger, to where, its eventually, practically impossible to get out of that love of what we love. So, if I was to sit down with you, and tell you all of that, would that convince you to listen to me further? Would it draw out any questions you may have, or weren't sure you had at first? Or would you further separate yourself from people like me? Either way, I hope this helps open your eyes, a bit into what I believe.

Sometime, It's NOT The Thought That Counts

2011-01-18T13:57:00.001-05:00

Gifts should always come from the heart, and not from the wallet, or the pants... I think that the worst gift, anyone can give anyone, is sex. I'm not talking about a girlfriend, or wife, giving her boyfriend or husband, a piece (and vice versa) for his birthday or anniversary, or congrats for a promotion or anything like that... NO! I'm talking about a friend, who think that someone getting off, on some strange, is the greatest gift to give... That's disgusting, and lack of love for a friend... If you know me, you know that I would not try to do anything, to drag a friend down with me... I would always build them up, or help them with there load (no pun), but never drag them down... I was asked a question last night by a striking looking woman, "if a friend was to buy you a hooker, what would you say to them," I told them honestly, "I would say fuck you." This lady was pretty surprised by my answer. lol But, at the same time, with keeping my cool, I was surprised by her question... If you want me to be happy on my birthday, buy me a gift certificate to my favorite music store, buy me alcohol, buy me anything except for sex... because, its nasty! The act of sex, itself isn't, but the thought of someone buying sex, is just not right... The lady tried to convince me, with hypothetical, but, I stood strong in my beliefs... I do not see any benefit in buying sex for anyone. If its not monogamous, and its not "free," then its repulsive. Nothing says, that I think you are the worst fucking human being, I have ever encountered in my entire life, than to offer to buy someone sex, so they can have "a good orgasm." I could care less on your stance on sex before marriage, or abstinence, or whatever... I know that I would never do that to my friends, or to myself, cause, its pointless to waste money, on someone who is just going to waste energy, to feel good for a minute... What conceivable notion says, that I am about to burn about 100 bucks for an hour, that wont even be used up, on someone to catch one, for a little while? So stupid. But, whatever is cleaver, to each his own... But, to me, sex should never be something that should be considered as a gift. Just tell me that you hate me, than try to get me laid... Just cuss me out... I would rather that, than for you to buy some pretty face, who got good at sucking dick, because, she was the only one willing to do so at that party sophomore year of high school... come on now! Lets think about this! Give something that is meaningful, and from the heart, and not something fickle, and from the wallet... that is a waste of money, time, and energy. Just buy me a hat, and call it a day.

My Cure For Writers Block

2011-01-18T13:17:00.000-05:00

I haven't been able to blog lately, and that writers block, can be a motherfucker! So, for a few days, its been hard to try to find some inspiration to write... and I figured out what my inspiration is... GOOD MUSIC! Its so hard to find good music now a days, only because, the good music, is hard to find! You go to your record stores, and your Best Buys, and Target's and what not, and you just see, shit. And my inspiration, as of late, has dwindled, due to my attendance of sporting events, with shitty ass music being played... oh well, what can one do? Just start digging again I guess... its rare for me to have a short blog, but here you go. To have good music, you gotta find it... that's it. moving on.

The More Money We Come Across...

2011-01-12T00:04:00.000-05:00

Me and money, has never really gotten along... Usually, when it comes to money, I use it for wants, and not necessities... And, when I need something, I'm always a day late, and a dollar short, cause, I usually try to find a reason to want something first.... But, I tried something new at the beginning of the year, that I think will work... that is if I stay healthy, and out of trouble, and don't try to live above my means... I am going to put money in 4 separate accounts, of mines, to not only promote me to saving it, but spending it wisely... I was able to pay off my cellphone bill the day I got it, because, I had the money in one of my accounts. Its a dedicated account for something like that... but what is one to do, when he is stuck in a house, that is iced over? Well, I used the money that I had to not only, eat, but buy another necessity, that now has me in the red... But, its worth it. It was something that I needed for a LONG time, and although I choose not to go into details, its going to make me feel SO much better in the end. Thank God. :) But, yes I will be doing a lot better with my money... that means, I will probably not eat out much, I will have a plan to save money for tattoos, concerts, travel, and other stuff that I thoroughly enjoy doing. So, with that said, I will be honest with you... I'm scared shitless about it... Cause, just like with anything in life, there will be a reason to spend the money I don't have... for example... you need to pay for your car, repairs, or you need to help a friend or family member, its up in the air... this year, I'M getting better with my money, spending it on what I need first, and not what I want... So, if you don't see me often, its because, I don't have money... I'm doing what I can to be better at it... and I hope you don't take offence, to me, not being there... I have to get a hold of it, if I ever wanna have some sort of relationship with anyone. lol Seriously... money can be a deal breaker in relationships... I don't want that... I know I just got real personal with you, but its my reality... And if you have the same problem as me, then I hope you find your way to save, and be better at it. Cause money, is important to survive... no matter how valuable, or invaluable it is... Be blessed... good night.

You learn something new every day.

2011-01-11T01:36:00.000-05:00

As its set up, The Good Lord above, gave us all the most dangerous creation, ANY God, could give creation--Free Will. In free will, we have the God given right to say, yes, no, or maybe, about anything that God gives us... A lot of the time, I use my free will to show my displeasure's in people, and things... One thing, that I'm not big on, is fallowing the popular crowd... Anything, that has a mass popularity, I tend to not find favor in fallowing it. I don't watch movies, cause, they are good, I watch movies to be entertained, and if there is an actor or actress that I don't like, I wont see that movie, no matter how good it is, or how many awards it won... Its just how I operate. I don't make apologies, and I don't make it a goal to go out of my way to appease those who think that I should do this, that, and the other... When it comes to people, its usually have something to do with Sports... If you don't know, I don't like Cam Newton... I do not like him for his sportsmanship. I'm huge when it comes to sportsmanship, I talk after the game, never before, or during... And sometimes, I guess, the reason why I get that way, is because, I'm that way! So, watching Cam Newton tonight during his interview, I was reminded, on the faithfulness of God. He mentioned, in his interview, that through it all, "God can take something negative, and turn it into something great." Well, I don't know what size shoe Cam wears, but I will but it in my mouth. That kinda shut me up! Who am I to feed the devils lies about the testimony of a young man like him? Ive missed, this entire time, what God was trying to show me... And that, EVERYONE, gets a second chance... Ive been saying that about Michael Vick, and just about anyone, but, why not him? What makes him stand out as the odd man out, of the second chance blessing? That's pretty fucked up of me. The young man, held his own, through it all... With all the fans saying one thing, and the media pouring it on, I just fell into the trap of trying to block the blessing that God has for this young man... It took me all of the College football season to realize this, but, it is what it is... I said what I said about him, and its out there, forever... But, if its any consolation, I do want to apologize to him, and God above, for being a distraction, during this time of his. So, there you go... I admit, I'm not a fan, of his, but, who am I to rain on his parade? Nothing but the best for that young man... moving on...

And so far...

2011-01-04T02:58:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! Hope that your night was better than mines... I do not like to drink when upset, but, with a shitty game that was coached by my Gamecocks, and the few asshole FSU fans that just added to the anger glass, that was soon to overflow, so I had to go. I allowed it to carry over into the new year, but, I'm getting better. But, so far, we are 4 days in, and I have no qualms... I had a small encounter with a couple of costumers, but, outside of that, smooth sailings. I know I haven't been on here in a while, and its because, I haven't had anything to solidify in my head to get out... I was thinking about making this blog about the bullshit that was my NYE/NYN, but that was going to go nowhere. I thought about talking about what excites me about the year to come, but still nope... the fact that I have a summons for Jury Duty, but nope, I just decided to allow y'all to know my thoughts of the new year, so far. And that's it. I do have some hopes for the new year, but outside of that, I'm just going to let this ride. But outside of that, I hope to have something for people, to enjoy, as I ramble, rant, and bitch about my world. Thanks for all the support guys. :) Love ya all.

5...4....3...2...1... Will it be?

2010-12-31T04:52:00.000-05:00

Well shit... we are here, yet again... the end of yet another year, on the same river of shit, known as life... 2010 was one that was really an emotional ride... I lost a cousin, I'm loosing my Grandfather, and I've forced myself to end some, what I thought were, meaningful friendships... It is DEFINITELY a year, that I'm glad that is over. But, it wasn't all bad, in no particular order, I got to hang out with my homeboy in my hometown, I witnessed my Gamecocks make history, (www.whatthehellref.blogspot.com blog is named "first from laughs.") I rekindled old relationships, and even started blogging for my sanity! I'm thinking school cause of this year, and, trying to make my last hurrah on the face of the earth, I cant really complain about this year, and how it ended up, cause, I still have my job, I still have my friends, and I'm blessed to know that I am loved, and healthy. I did try working out, and it was working, but that shit got expensive! So, Imma try again next year, maybe, but cheaper for sure. I have learned a lot about myself as well this year. The biggest thing I learned is that, I have NO control over money... I tried to save it, and better manage my finances, but, to no avail, attempt after attempt... its so hard to try to establish something, KNOWING that something is going to happen to take away that money you were trying to save. One of my goals for 2011, is to be better manager of my money. Along with that, I hope to have found love, as i give it my once a year attempt to find it. But, all in all, 2010, I'm coming out of it pretty healthy! I have regrets of actions I did, I have my moments of laughter as well... But, one thing about 2010 that I will not miss, is 2010... Its time to say goodbye to you, and watch you burn in hell... 2011, you have 365 chances to make it worth it... hope you do! See you all in the new year. :)

The Weight Of My World

2010-12-30T14:24:00.000-05:00

Would you blame me if I went crazy? If instead of talking out my feelings, as dark as they may or may not be, I actually acted upon the saying "I gonna shoot you in the left eye?" Would you find it funny, or scary if I did actually do something? Would your view of me change, if I did actually decide to allow my emotions to overflow, and I do actually bring harm to someone or myself? I don't know what would happen, but I know that I NEVER want to ever be that guy. The last time, I actually allowed my emotions to get the best of me, I ended up saying something to someone that I should have never said, but, she had it coming at the time, and after the damage was done, I'm surprised, I still have friends. LOL But, what if I did decided that the day to go crazy was tomorrow? Would not be a good day. Would people still take advantage of me, if they saw me blow up? Would they rethink there love, or appreciation of me? What if I didn't bottle up all my emotions, would I be a better person? Would I be the same person? Would I smile a lot, to mask the war within? Would I laugh at everything like I do now? Would people respect me more? Would the ladies think of me of more than just a friend? Its all types of fucked up to think like this, but, this is what swims through my mind... EVERY THOUGHT MUST GO! Right? Well, I hope I never become that guy... I want to be the same guy that respects all, and is stubborn about my choices in life... I LOVE the pangs of life... I love the emotions that comes with the everyday. I love being frustrated, and not able to say a damn word at times... I love not being willing to allow anything to try to alter my views, thoughts, or social status... I am happy of who I am right now, and probably will be happy for the rest of my God given days. Although the science says that people who holds it in, die sooner, if that's the case, Ill take it. But, the world will know that I died young, but satisfied, that I lived my life, the way I wanted to live it, and not the way someone else wanted me to live it. So, in my worst days, I would still rather be me, than someone else. Hope you take time to see that misery to one, is pleasure for other, and however they make their life go as smooth as possible. Think about it.

SONG OF THE WEEK... the end.

2010-12-26T05:39:00.000-05:00

The "song of the week" blog thing that I did is coming to an end... it was a hard challenge trying to find a song for the week, that is different, but I managed to do it pretty well, I think, and I do hope y'all enjoyed. I do hope it opened you up to a lot of new sounds that you may now, or may not enjoy, but all the same, thanks for listening... :) And, unfortunately, I will not be doing this again next year... come 2011, I will just feature songs that I like. I'm not going to set a day or a time, I'm just going to put up the song, and hope you like. :) I will still give you a description of the band, and the song, but, I will not be doing this on a weekly basis... it could be every day, it could be once a month, who knows! :) I don't. It all depends on when the music hits me. :) So, with all that said, I thank you again, and I will finish out this series with 4, yes 4 different songs, from 2 different bands. The 2 bands that I'm talking about are 2 of my favorites. I say that because if you own all the albums by them, they are pretty much standing out as the favorites. lol

The Black Keys is a band based out of Akron, Ohio. A duo who was sick of mowing lawns, and decided to make music... It turned our pretty good for them, cause, there infectious blues rock sound has spread like wildfire, and has burned into souls for almost 10 years now. The 2 songs I picked from there are "When The Lights Go Out," and "Howlin' For You." Starting with "When The Lights Go Out," found on there album "Rubber Factory," This song is exactly what makes this band stands out... The blues in the rock, and the way the guitar notes hit, as the pain is pounded out through the drums. The lyrics sits on a heavy hearted voice (to me), and it completes the picture that this song paints me--pain no matter the time, cause she will hurt you and leave you dead in the sun, the moon or where ever. Like he says, "You know what the sun's all about, when the lights go out." Enjoy

The second song that I chose comes from there latest masterpiece called "Brothers." It's a song that has a familiar beat... Ever hear the song called "Rock and Roll part 2?" How about the "Hey!" song that they play at sporting venues around the world? Yeah! Same song. :) When you hear "Howlin' For You," You hear that song, but, its not copied, or even the same song... this isn't some sort of bullshit Vanilla Ice biting off of Queen. lol No, this song, is very good, and the show of a wolf on the prowl. Its a ballad saying, "I wish you would notice me, so I can attempt to make you love me." So, I hope you enjoy it... My favorite part is in the bridge of the song, where it just breaks down into this melodic heavenly moment, that takes away the pain. :) So I do hope you enjoy "Howlin' For You."

And now, to the second band. The Dead Weather. This band is the brain child of the legendary Jack White. They are a band based out of Nashville, Tennessee, and was founded on the last night of The Raconteurs tour back in 2008. It happened during the encore when Allison Mosshart, of The Kills, came out with the band and sung "Steady As She Goes," during the encore. And after waiting like 2 and a half hours after the show, the drunk band members came down, and gave autographs to us who waited, and it was well worth the wait. :) But anyways, Jack White, plays drums in this band, and I love it. I consider Jack White playing drums as "an angry and scared kid, beating out his demons." But, There are 2 songs from this band, that basically slows it all down, to give you something that your soul can find comfort in. Starting off with there song "Will There Be Enough Water," From there debut album "Horehound," This song, to me, is the perfect song to play at a funeral... because the song says it all. To me, it says what we all hope when we came to the end... Did I do enough? Did I say enough? "Will there be enough water, when my ship comes in?" I do hope you love this song like I do.

The final song that I chose is the song that broke them. Its called, "Die By The Drop." This song epitomizes my description of Jack White on drums. It's like, to me, that he is LITERALLY banging away the frustrations in this song alone. The way he wore his heart, the troubled times he went through, with relationships, friends, defending his bands, trying not to be the spotlight, ALL of that, sounds like it went into the drum parts of this song. The song, itself, is amazing, but what makes it, is, the drum parts. I do hope you enjoy. And again, Thank you so much for going through this journey with me. I do hope I've touched your ears, as I hope to have touched your soul with this blog. :) Enjoy

Like a diamond ring, lost at sea.

2010-12-26T03:53:00.000-05:00

I think I know where I lost my Christmas spirit... It died somewhere between me leaving church, and working around people, who don't believe... And whatever floats your boat, is what keeps you awesome in my eyes... But, I'm cool with it all, but, its not me! I loved Christmas, and what it means to me, but with the times changing, the tides shifting, and the ones I love, slowly dying away, I don't know, if I will ever be able to recover to enjoy Christmas again. I don't even know, if I will enjoy it, when I have kids... I do love it when I celebrate Christmas with my co-workers, as we get drunk, and full on delicious alcohol, and food. Being together with the people that matter to me, is where my Christmas spirit lies... I will never find it in a store, on the news, or even in sports... Its not in a church, its not in Chattanooga, Tennessee, or Columbia, South Carolina, or Hoover, Alabama, Its lost. Lost into the people that I love with all my heart, which is my co-workers, friends, family, and faith. Nothing can touch those things in my heart, and my Christmas spirit is scattered throughout... I don't need gifts, or money, or anything for that matter, except for the knowledge that my friends and family knows that I love them and they love me. :) So, if that warrants an absence of Christmas Spirit, then, I'm ok with that. :) Merry Christmas, and although the day may not be such, glad that sweet baby Jesus was born for us to know freedom. :) Good night.

I looked in the mirror and smiled. :)

2010-12-22T04:06:00.000-05:00

Its hard to stop smiling after the day that I had yesterday. I ended up going to South Carolina, to see my Grandfather, who's said to have 3 months left to live. On Sunday, I thought I wasn't going to be able to go, but, luckily my mom was willing to switch cars with me for the day, and I had a blast on the way, and on the way back. When I got to SC, I went to see my Grandfather, and when I got there, luckily they just got back from the hospital. And, my Aunt Theodora was fixing a plate of spaghetti for Granddad, and I sat and ate with him. It was good to catch up a bit, and just be there and to see him. Its always fun to listen to old men talk, as Uncle Gunn was there with us, enjoying a "peanut and jelly dog." lol No, there was no hot dogs in it, it was just a peanut and jelly sandwich in a hot dog bun. And just listening at how times were, it made me smile, and appreciative of what life was like. So, after a few hours of hanging out, and just being around familiar surroundings, remembering the times me and my cousins would run around the house, and the yard, back when Columbia was a safe city, The funny moments shared with family as we laughed and talked, and yelled at each other for no reason. Oh, the good times. After that, I met up with my Twin. :) That was a good reason why, I smile today... Meeting up with my mirror image was what my soul needed. :) Seeing her and catching up just made me feel... complete! Seeing her smile, and just us catching up from 10 years, just made my trip for the day, even better. To sit there, and talk out the last 10 years in our lives as they went separate directions. But, it felt good to just allow God to have us get it out, and fall in love as twins. :) Don't go on thinking that I have a 2nd sibling, I don't... its just me, and my little sister Elise, but my Twin is Lindsay. The way we became twins, was one day in the weight room at the high school we were attending at the time, I was working out, she was too, and this guy named Peter, looked at her, and saw me, and realized that she wasn't me, and was still having a deja vu moment... since that time 13 years ago, we've been linked. :) Since moving here to Georgia, we've seen each other one other time, and that was 10 years ago. Since then, as she told me her life, I told her mines, and all we did was just smile, laugh, and played darts. It was so good and fulfilling, to let her know who I was, and I can imagine that it was the same for her when she told me who she was. Shes a survivor, a fighter, and a beautiful soul, and I love her to death. :) It took us 10 years to catch up, but doing so made me not want to go back home to Decatur, but not allow the night to end like this. But it had to... and now life is good. To see my Grandfather, and my Twin, in the same day, and enjoy both companies, and them enjoy me, was worth it all. :) I am truly blessed. No, seriously... TRULY blessed.

That Little Bit Of Light

2010-12-21T15:00:00.000-05:00

This summer, I thought I was going to die. Seriously! I thought that, I was going to drown in the Ocoee River the day that we, as a company, went to go whitewater rafting. I thought I was going to fall in, my leg was going to get caught under a rock, and I was going to end my life right there... And, the moment that I for sure thought it was going to happen, was when we did this thing called "surfing." We hit this one rapid, and somehow, I lost control, fell in, went under the raft, and in a mode to where, I didn't panic, cause, I had to remember the things to do to keep me alive. Head up, feet in front of you, and just remain calm... well, it would have been easier to do, if I just didn't have a nose full of water, but I managed to keep my cool, have a laugh, with my team, and get pulled in, and continue the fun... It was my fourth time whitewater rafting and the 2nd time falling in... I was pushed in as well, but that doesn't count.

But, I tell you that story to get to the real subject of this blog. As some of you may or may not know, I have bouts with depression. Its not clinical or anything, but I know what I feel... and when I get deep into it, I eat a lot, and I think about "my buddy." "My buddy," is a gun... I don't have a gun, but, I know, that I'm there when I see him. And depression is just like what I thought was going to happen to me this summer. When you think theres no way you re going to get out of this, you can, and you will... All you need to do is stay calm and force someone to pick your big ass up. When I say that, not talking about someone physically picking you up in the case of being physically rescued, but if you need out, you have to force someone to listen to you... its easy to just go through life living in the lie that your head is telling you, but its even easier to ask someone that you can trust to just listen... When I get like that, I feel as if everyone hates me... Like, I pissing everyone off for something I did... and, I hate to do that. I hate to let my friends, and co-workers down. But if I let one down, I feel as if I let them all down, and no ones happy with me. And when I reach that point, I don't even want to drink. And as much as I like to drink, when I feel like it, when I'm depressed, I don't want to, ONLY because, I don't wanna be that type of drunk. lol I like being the happy drunk. Being a mean, and grumpy drunk and bitching about the world, is not who I am, or want to be.

But, its a feeling that I know the world cant understand, and I cant explain. its not an easy feeling, and not an easy spell to break... All you can do, is pray, and try to convince yourself that its better than what it is... Ive been sitting on this subject for about 2 months now, because of the situation that has happened back in October, when The Gamecock Nation learned that South Carolina's All-time Leading Receiver, Kenny McKinley, shot himself in the head, and its because of depression, and gambling debt... He kept in touch with a lot of friends, and he was known for his smile... and to find out that a young man, like him, suffered, and thinking the easiest way out was killing himself, just shocks the world... That's the thing about Depression... its a ghost... No one will ever know who's walking around with thoughts of ending it, or thoughts of feeling alone, or just thoughts of sadness. Everyone deals with it differently, but, those of us who suffers has to over think the situation, and fight our way out of it... For the last 15+ years, I've manage to not kill myself, and to just know that its not going to be easier with me away from the world... I have a purpose, and I will go when God is ready for me to go...

Depression is heavy weight to carry, but, it can be manageable, with the right people, and importantly, the right hobbies... Things that help me out is writing and music. Cause with writing, you can allow the pen to bleed for you, and with music, it can just make you feel better... Before work one day, I was in a shitty mood, then I put on some Florence + The Machine, and I felt the anger melt away... Music is powerful against anything that makes you feel bad... So, I write that and end with this... If you do suffer as I, I urge you to find someone that you know you can talk to... they don't have to be the greatest of friends, but if you can trust and know, that that person can and will help you through the thickest and the thinnest, and if they aren't available, find something creative to do. Find a way to manifest that pain into something beautiful and that the world will feel. And if that doesn't help, find your favorite musician, and make him or her, or them melt the pain away. Can you do that for me? Please?

Songs Of The Week

2010-12-13T11:39:00.000-05:00

Well, I got 2 more for ya.... One, Ive known for a while, about this artist... his name is Shawn Hewitt.. He's from Canada, and has one amazing song, that I will share with you today... The name of the song is "One On One." Its a song, that is basically an "I hate you" song. Its very heart-felt wonderfully sung, and just one of those songs that reach down into your soul, and let you know, that you did hurt me, and the world now knows how much of a bitch you are... so, here's this weeks first song by Shawn Hewitt "One On One" :) Enjoy!

The second song, this week is from a band that does not exist anymore... its a great song, from a band, that, unfortunately doesn't exist anymore... This band decided to call it quits, about 2 years ago, but, they are still entertaining... the name of the song is "Need Your Needs" by the band, Georgie James. Its a poppy tune about seeing a familiar face, everywhere... its very good, and the song that turned me on to them in the first place... so I hope you enjoy, "Need Your Needs" by Georgie James :) Enjoy!

That Sounds Flat...

2010-12-12T04:42:00.000-05:00

Nothing sickens me more, than this shit made pop music that has been spewed out, this decade... Since 2000, I could tell, that there was a slow decline of powerful music, cause, these, so called, "musicians," make all these songs, "for the clubs." Well, if they are all for the clubs, they fucking keep it in the clubs!!! I don't wanna hear this shit! But it wasn't until October, at Williams-Brice Stadium, in Columbia, South Carolina, that it hit me at how bad, and sad the music got, over the years... If you know me, you know I don't listen to the bullshit, that is on the radio today... And these "Artists" are still getting all this money, for... what, exactly? What impact has Will-I-Am made on music? What about Usher? How has he shaped my views of music? What about these other guys, that makes bullshit sounds, and music, and some of the most fucked up lyrics Ive ever heard?

"I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good good night..."

Are you shitting me... THIS, is whats hot?! THE WORST song ever... and yet, this bullshit, is more popular than anything that Jack White makes... Seriously, a retarded goat could have written the same lyrics... WOW! Moving on... Ive heard a lot of great pop songs, in my life, but lately, music has been on a decline... and like Ive mentioned before, Music is to be the influence to society, and not society influences music... But unfortunately, Society, has been the biggest influence in music, than anything else... Think about it, Rap, Hip-Hop, R&B, and even this thing called "Rock" has all fallen victim to the shit of what we want now... Its never anything that has to do with the past, or about what the future should be. Its about that "Crazy Bitch." or "Throwing some D's on that bitch," or even "When everybody hands go up..."

"All I Do is win win win no matter what
got money on mind i can never get enough
and everytime I step up in the building
everybody hands go up
and they stay there
and they say yeah
and they stay there
Up down, up down
cause all I do is win win win
and if you goin’ in put your hands in the air.."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! Its so bad... and I hate it all... Brian McCann came out to this everytime he went to bat... Auburn University has this as there come out song as well, its so fucked up... Music today, is always popular... because, its what sells.... Shit and sex sells easier than good, hard worked, valuable to soul and spirit music... Its sad, and it hurts my heart to know that music in America is declining to the ways of bullshit songs as the 2 that I have quoted... This is what America has reduced itself to... shitty music.... NO WONDER the world hates us... Change the radio station... find some good shit America... quit doing this to yourself... I make this blog after hearing a lot of the bullshit songs that were played tonight at work. Its fun to watch people have a good time, but not at the expense of shitty music. 8 notes destroyed cause, of these fucks, making "club bangers" and nothing that means something to someone, who made need to hear that lyric, that beautiful melody, or that arrangement... Music does more for culture, than people let on to believe. Its ok... change is inevitable. :) Goodnight.

It's always "what if" with me.

2010-12-10T01:03:00.000-05:00

Today was a weird day to think about the hypothetical, I'm about to lay on ya... But, it's exactly what keeps my mind sharp. But, why such a weird subject? What in the hell would make me think about such a thing? I don't know... but, here... Ill share with you, what went through my mind today... So, while going back home from Target, I was, for some reason, thinking about how weird, the map of the United States would look, if the Confederates won... Not necessarily "won" per se, but if it was able to keep the southern states, as its own nation... What would that mean for me as a black man? Would I have to have a special licence to be able to shop? Would, work for nothing, as the "masters" gain everything? Would there be a leader to lead us out of the oppression, if the oppression was still a part of society? Would I be able to even learn how to read and write? Who knows! Its all hypothetical... On the other hand, would racism even exist in the Confederate State of America? Would black men, walk around in a better environment than, that of today's America, where, people are still holding on to what is plain out ignorance? Would black people, be looked at as gods? And not feared and oppressed? Who knows! We are here and now, and things are getting better, slowly but surely... I don't know how it would have been if history was different... But that's the beauty of imagination... It begs you to asks questions of what is, and isn't, and how, if ever, you can change the current situation. It could be beautiful, or it could be ugly, and you can make it as beautiful or as ugly as you want it to be. Would I have the friends that I do now, if we were a confederacy? Would black on black crime exist in a confederacy? Would there be a drug or alcohol epidemic in a confederacy? I don't know... Most likely though, cause, there would never be such a thing as a utopia. But, if, I had control over the states, I would make sure that there was peace and understanding, amongst us all... I would make sure, that laws were in place, for equality, and make sure, that the arts would strive... That's what I would do, but, as it turns out, if the south was to rise, we all be fucked... oh well. Its beautiful to just think.

ATLANTA'S FINEST MESS

2010-12-07T00:33:00.000-05:00

The Atlanta Police Department has to be THE WORST in the entire world... worse than the corruption in Mexico and there police department, and probably worse than the Rio de Jinero police in Brazil, with all the "accidental killings, and beatings." Why do I think this? Because, on Saturday, while me, Frank, and Don, were trying to find Franks friends, who was at Mary McCloud Bathune Elementary School, off of Northside Dr. in Atlanta Georgia, Tailgating before the SEC Championship Game. So, after waiting for about 30 mins on Frank to show, he told me, where his friends were, and we started to head where he said, they were... it was pretty windy out, so we made a b-line to where he was. So, on the way, I run into Matt and Richie... 2 old friends from The Motherland (South Carolina). Then we made a cut through the grassy area between the parking lot stairs, and the Georgia Dome, and we walked on the outside of the Georgia World Congress Center, which was holding thousands of fans, for the SEC Fan Fare... well, we were about to get ready to cross the stree, when we asked a cop, where the school was... he told us that we were close... we have to go on the other side of the dome, and its straight ahead, with a black gate... well, we go up to where he said, and we dont see a black gate... AND, so, we see another cop... we asked her, where is the school, and she said "I dont know." What the fuck? How the FUCK are you an Atlanta Police Officer, and you dont know where the fuck an elementary school is? Seriously? Really? I bet you, if I asked where a liquor store was, youd tell me in a hot minute, bitch... So, we go to what we thought was the place, turns out we were a block and a half the wrong way... So, we ask YET ANOTHER COP... and his answer... "I dont know what youre talking about." My fear of the city actually grew. Who the fuck actually hired these dumbasses? How are you going to be a cop, and not know where the fuck an elementary school is?! That is very embarassing, and I dont know who I need to talk to, but, Imma find the person I need to talk to, and ask them why, are they hiring people who dont know where the fuck anything is in the city. If I wasn't so good with recognizing my surroundings, I would be fucked, If I ever got lost in this city. Anyways, The Atlanta Police Department, aint good for shit... Yeah, I said it... NO WONDER theres so much crime going on in this city... cause, while people are giving directions, these assholes, are going to the wrong places... SO fucked up... While, crackheads and meth heads, are out there, robbing people, and assholes, are kidnapping and raping people, and innocent people, who are trying to get home from work, are being held up at gun point, these fuckers are trying to finish up the next level of Grand Theft Auto 3... Thats my perseption of it of course, cause, who knows what they are doing... So, with all that said, I say, one last time... FUCK YOU ATLPD... GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

The true meaning of the Holidays?

2010-11-26T15:29:00.000-05:00

Between Capitalism, and the media, I think that we, as a nation, all forgot, the true meaning of this season. We love to think about others, and ourselves at the same time. We always want, and we have to always get... We have to find a reason to make everyone happy, and not be happy with what we have, thats dear to us... If its a gift that makes our families, friends, signifcant others, dogs, and cats happy, then we dont know what this whole season means... Yes, we changed it all around to where, its a wintery thing, and no onger something that means something in the Spring, like it once was. and True, this is a season that has been turned around from something that was a time of free love, to a child being born miraculosly, in a small town called Bethlehem... The Maji knew of this event, and the world knows of this man who gave his life to save the world... But outside of that, what does this season means to us all? To some, it means making little Timmy, and little Sally, getting them there high tech toys, that we scratch and claw over people to get, to make sure, that they have a happy Chanukuh, a happy Kwannza, or happy Christmas. Its where we have forgotten what it all means... This time is for all of us to be with the ones that we love the most. Its a time to just be happy with the ones that agrivate us, and makes us smile, and laugh, and want to punch out, choke to death, and ultimately, cant get enough of... The family and the friends we've made and has been tested, and lasted, should be more important than any gift... Im not anti holidays... Im just not a fan of what the holidays does to us as a whole... In other countries, its not about the gifts, its about the meaning of christmas... To me, its always been that trip to Chattanooga, Tennessee, and bing around my cousins, and aunts, and uncles, and my Grandmother, who passed away a year ago, and laughing talking, and trying to beat each other in whatever the popular game is this time around... The food, and the clothes... I always got clothes, never anything cool like my cousins got, I alway got the clothes... thats bullshit... Anyways, now looking back, its always been that for me. As much as I would have liked to have those gifts back then, now, looking at it, I always got what I needed, and never what I wanted... or rarely got what I wanted. And along with the good people around me, that shaped me into the man that I am today. So, if I seem to be all "Scroogie" during the holidays, its not because I am, necessarily... its because, I dont believe in your holiday celebration. It just doesnt excite me the way it use to. Since Grandma's gone, and the family seems to be splitting up, in a way, I just have the memories to hold on to. :) Thats enough for me. I do hope one day that I will be able to have all the money to waste on my kids, but as it stands, I have not kids, no one to love, and nothing to really look forward to, other than the Beautiful day, that we celebrate with family, friends, and the ones we love. Thats enough for me. But dont get it twisted... I DO love getting and giving gifts... But I dont do it when the meaning is right. Hope that makes since.

SONG OF THE WEEK (THANKSGIVING EDITION)!!!!

2010-11-25T09:43:00.000-05:00

In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it says "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." And on this thursday, I found a song that is excactly what this verse means... Its sad that we all have to take one day to be "thankful" for anything, and everything, but, that should change soon. We should always be thankful for the life we have, the people in our lives, and necessities, that that hels us maintain our lives. So, without family around, without friends, or anything but me and this computer, right now, I just want to list a couple of things that I am thankful for personally... 1st, Im thankful for simply, the people that I call family. My family is not only the blood relations, but the friends that Ive shared laughs, tears, good times, and bad times with... Without yall, life would be pointless, and lonlier than it is now. :) But Im content... and Im also very thankful for another year, where I can share and express that love. Its the small things that makes the biggest difference in life. :) Now, this weeks song is entitled Thank You Lord (For All You've Done For Me)" By Walter Hawkins.. This song holds a special place in my heart, because, Ive sung this song a lot of times when I was with the St. Martin de Porres School Gospel Chior... and even today, some 20+ years since singing it, it still holds true, and feels good to hear. :) So, I do encourage you to listen to the entire song, and must allow yourself to be taken away by the words... Cause when you focus, and youre thankful, worries melt, wounds heal, and that undescribable feeling of happiness overtakes you. :) But, anyways, no further delay, I give you "Thank You Lord (For All You've Done For Me)." HAPPY THANKSGIVING! :)

SONGS OF THE WEEK

2010-11-18T10:02:00.000-05:00

To make up for last week, Im going to have 2 songs this week. A lot of new music has come out, and Ive been on the move to get it... So, out of the stable of new music that has come out, I am going to give you 2 songs from the 2 different bands/artists that I picked up... ok... So first off, everyone knows who Cee-Lo Green is, or should know who he is. His mucisal credibility is a long and deep as it comes... a member of the Atlanta hip-hop group Goodie Mob, an accomplished solo artist, and the voice of Gnarls Barkley... Heard of him? No? Well, have you heard his latest song called "Fuck You?" OH! YEAH! That guy! Yeah, but anyways, the one song off of that album, that has really stuck with me, is the first song on the album called "Bright Lights Bigger City." And honestly, to me, its probably a great way to honor 2 of musics biggest legends, Michael Jackson, and Prince... If you listen to it first off, thats all you can hear, is some Prince, and some Michael Jackson. lol... Its a great song off of his latest album called "The Lady Killer, and I do hope you like. :)

The Second song comes from a band I discoved from a HTC commercial. There was this song played, that got me searching who this band was... After looking and what not, I discovered that the band that Ive been looking for, is named "Fitz and The Tantrums." Its a great find. One of those albums that just rides on your soul. Its soulful, and amazing to listen to. Definitely a new favorite of mines... The song off the album "Pickin' Up The Pieces," that is used on the commercial is called "Winds of Change." Its a really good look into just how life will change all of a sudden, just like the wind... its a great song... Hope you like.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-11-12T03:48:00.001-05:00

So, what song should I pick this week... I know! Its one, from this band that came out of nowhere and is making a huge hit in the music scene today... Sleigh Bells, is another beautiful product out of New York, where it holds only a guy, a guitar, a girl, her voice, and computers ramped all the way beyond distorted. With simply sung, and written lyrics, with hard beats, a driving guitar, and a bassline that will blow your eardrums out, along with your speekers, this band is and will probably be very entertaining for years to come. There first album is called "Treats," And it is, just that... a treat. its not a long album, but it will definitely keep the party going. The song I picked, is one of the few singles I've heard on the album, before I bought it... As you know, I have a rule that I fallow strictly... It doesnt go on the blog, unless I own it. And I got it, and Imma play it. But the song is named "Infinity Guitars." The only thing I ask for you to do when you listen to this song, is to turn it up ALL the way to fuckin 14, and just allow the last 45 seconds of the song to blow your head off!!! I love this song, and I hope yall do too... So, without anything else to say, I give you, "Infinity Guitars," by Sleigh Bells. :) Enjoy!

Be Still. Dont Move.

2010-11-10T08:21:00.001-05:00

Sometimes in life, its just best, to shut everything off... No TV, no XBOX, no nothing... All that you can hear is your own beating heart, your breathing, and most importantly, your thoughts... its not an everyday thing, or even an every night thing, but I love to just turn it all off, and just concentrate on the darkness, as I finally allow my brain to have its say... I sleep with the TV on, and I dont sleep that much, if and when I do get to sleep... I still dont think, Im an insomniac, but, in those times, Im just trying to shut myself up... But, its beautiful to allow myself to clear shit out! Things I try to talk myself through is life, finances, taking care of the important things, and of course, trying to motivate myself to be better than who I am right now. You can also make beautiful music in those times... Using your imagination to make the songs you want to hear... make your own soundtracks... You can paint a pretty picture as well. Your imagination and creativity can flourish if you just allow yourself to shut up every now and then... You can even pray during those times... You can ask God to help your friends through difficulty, pretect family and friends, and allow the lessons that he has for you to manifest, and be taught... And after you've allowed yourself to actually come to peace with yourself, you can rest, and be satisfied... Sometimes we just need to vent it all... I may be the only one who experience moments like that, but I highly doubt that... But sometimes, just telling the world to SHUT THE FUCK UP, and allowing your brain to vent, is what we need... just sitting there quietly staring into the darkness, listening to you breathe, and create, and imagine, and love. :) So, just take a moment, or a night, and just allow yourself, every now and then, to just sit still... Hope yall have a great day.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-11-08T03:45:00.002-05:00

This weeks song was a tough one to find. With such a weird week that this was, working an unusual schedule, Going through Election Day, Seeing a friend struggle through a shitty week at work, and the constant reminder that I am a Gamecock (fuck you Arkansas), it was appropriate for me, to play a song that's pretty sad... Although a great week, just one of those weeks, that can be soothed with a nice sad song... And which song would be better than the one that I picked for this weeks (sorry it was late, I had a lot of hate of politics to get off my chest.) song of the week. This is the second time I have used this band in this blog, I think... and its by one of my favorite bands... TV On The Radio. And its called "Blues From Down Here." Its the perfect song... It is a mix of sadness, anger, and depression, with ways to deal... its a powerful song, and one of my favorite to be seen played live. So, it was a good time to pull this song out. :) From TV On The Radio, I give you "Blues From Down Here." :) Enjoy

Right or Left?

2010-11-06T13:41:00.003-04:00

The First Amendment written in The Constitution of The United States of America states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

So, I know you are asking right now... "Why am I talking about the First Amendment, when you, of all people, JUST STATED that 'you would rather' do all these things, other than talking politics?" Well, Allow me to establish my train of thought behind my last blog talking about why I hate talking politics! Will you allow me?... A lot of people that likes to talk politics to me, are people who I work with, work around, work for (in the since of serving), and hang out with... It seems like everybody has a political agenda now a days, with everyone screaming "democracy" or "republic" or "fill in your party here." I don't have a political agenda, and I think its wrong, and a violation of my First Amendment rights, if ANYONE says to me "If you don't vote, you don't have a say in who's in office." So what, if I did or did not vote... As a natural born citizen of these United States of America, I was borned, with the right to run my mouth in any way I feel. If I do, or don't say anything about the asshole, looking off in the distance, with his right hand over his heart, and his left hand crossing his fingers, is no right for you to say that my rights to feel whatever about him, is not warranted, because, I didn't vote... So, who says that if I don't exercise my right to vote, I cant say, fuck this guy, or fuck that guy? And if you believe that by voting, there will be change, where is it? Obama has been in office for 2 years now... I'm still making it day to day... I'm still having to pay all these taxes... so, wheres this relief? Where was this "change" every white "N.W.A." fan, says was coming? All Ive seen was a lot of the same things... In this day and age of "the now." Nothing has changed... health care is still non-existent, the "African-Americans" of us, are still holding on to the fact that this motherfucker is black, and is not doing much to help there situations... So, wheres this change? Whats Congress going to do? Well, if there was ever a reason to not like Politics, this is it... Politics keeps me poor, them rich, and me afloat in the same river of shit... But DO NOT tell me, that I don't have a right to say anything EVER again... I have my rights, and fuck you for thinking that you can tell me that I don't have the right to say anything, cause I didn't vote... I have all the rights in the world, only because, the law says I do. So, if you want to live with this phantom belief, that all non-voting Americans can suck it and shut up, well, you suck it and shut up... Another thing, that I don't like is how everyone is all about this "GO OUT AND VOTE" kick... what if I measure all parties involved, did my research and see what they have planned, and I still don't like what I hear, see, and read, and I decide to hold my vote, Am I wrong? I mean, I did the research, and all I smelt was bullshit, so, am I wrong for not voting? I don't think I am, and next Election day, if I don't see something I don't like, Imma hold on to my vote... I don't care if that means that your guy wins or looses... I have the right, and fuck you for trying to take it away from me. All done.

WHOA!!!! SLOW IT DOWN!!!

2010-11-04T23:38:00.003-04:00

Today, while working, I was loving the day... it was cloudy outside, it was cool, a little bit of rain, and just the perfect way to begin the late fall... So, as I'm finishing up, I see the one thing, that pisses me off about his time of the year... The City of Decatur, decided that TODAY, was the best day to put of Christmas wreaths, on the light poles.... WHAT IN THE FATHER FUCK IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!?! Why is Christmas so fucking important to people, who rarely believes in the true beauty of Christmas... When did Christmas became more important than being thankful of everything? When did Christmas jump the importence of Thanksgiving? Not to take anything from Christmas and the fun that it holds, but, in my eyes, EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD HAS ITS TIME... Getting ready for Christmas in early November, to me, is like building your own coffin for your birthday, just to know that you're going to die on that day... prepping the wood, measuring it, cutting it, making it all nice, then all of a sudden, you climb in, and try to nail yourself in... at the same time, digging the ditch deeper... Its stupid... And nothing irks me more, than to see people get excited about, talking about, and advertising for Christmas before Thanksgiving... SHIT! Thanksgiving has a hell of a lot more food than Christmas ever will! Why in all that is good and right, would you want to skip on the food?! I didn't even mention football.... OH MY GOD! I'm in heaven on Thanksgiving Thursday... But lets not forget, before I completely destroy your happiness, Christmas is a great time to get excited... It reminds me a lot of family times, in Chattanooga, with the hint of burning wood in the air, in the cool quiet air, softly breezes across the mountain sides... And just the fun of being with the family... Its a great time Every Christmas in Chattanooga Tennessee, and although Grandma is gone now, its still a great enough reason to get together, and love the people that matters, and the people we have to remember. And more than anything, I would rather be thankful, than to be all happy about Christmas. Like I said in a facebook status comment... "Time and Place." I think the right time, anyone should be getting all excited about Christmas, is after thanksgiving... why is that? cause you have all your family there, and you can tell them all, what you want for Christmas, knowing that you're not going to get it... But the fact that the media, is already celebrating Christmas, while, screaming out to the world, about being politically correct, and calling this the holiday season, is another reason why I hate seeing all the lights, and wreaths, and shit before thanksgiving... They want you to spend money, and not spend time with the people that matter... society is all fucked up, and it can even lick my balls... I know I cant change the world, and Im not trying to, but in MY house, Christmas will be discussed, talked about and thought of, the day AFTER Thanksgiving... thats when the decorations go up, December 1st, the tree is going up, and January 1, EVERYTHING is taken down. Everything in its proper place and time... Thats what I believe... You dont go off and start bragging about how excited you are to die do ya? Well, why brag about how excited you are about a season, that will be here, well after you are gone? Think about it... thats how I feel, and IM done. Goodnight.

FUCK POLITICS!!!

2010-11-03T05:01:00.004-04:00

There is nothing more, in this world, that I don't HATE more than Politics... And, in this blog, I am going to start a list of the things that I would rather do, than to talk politics... here we go.

1. I would rather become a Clemson fan
2. I would rather cut my balls off
3. I would rather become a vegetarian
4. I would rather admit that I am an "African-American"
5. I would rather start smoking crack, meth, heroine, or any other drug out there
6. I would rather cut my tongue out
7. I would rather think that music sucks
8. I would rather be homeless
9. I would rather loose all the people that i consider, or consider me to be friends
10. I would rather set an entire city block on fire
11. I would rather kill my dog and my cats
12. I would rather be miserable
13. I would rather agree with the BCS
14. I would rather denounce my faith in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit
15. I would rather eat shit... literal human shit
16. I would rather kill my family ending with my mother
17. I would rather drink lava
18. I would rather drink bleach
19. I would rather accept stupidity as a genetic disorder
20. I would rather die in the worst possible way
21. I would rather have some bitch lie to me and break my heart
22. I would rather suck a dick
23. I would rather admit that Santa Claus isn't real
24. I would rather think that fake tits are awesome
25. I would rather punch and spit in the face of Pope Benedict
26. I would rather like Tim Tebow
27. I would rather think Jack White is the worse thing to happen to music
28. I would rather jump off of a building
29. I would rather shoot myself in the head
30. I would rather give Bob a hug at his smelliest
31. I would rather shake hands with Jesse Jackson
32. I would rather listen to pop music
33. I would rather never ask for help again
34. I would rather go blind
35. I would rather not walk again
36. I would rather give up on being a nice guy
37. I would rather give up watching sports
38. I would rather start reading for fun
39. I would rather give up the Internet
40. I would rather watch every Leonardo Di Caprio movie made 100 times over
41. I would rather watch the news
42. I would rather watch Jay Leno
43. I would rather give up eating
44. I would rather eat dog shit
45. I would rather to never learn anything at all
46. I would rather contract a STD
47. I would rather never try
48. I would rather have surgery with no anesthetics
49. I would rather eat mashed potatoes
50. I would rather be poor, starving, and cold

All these things I would rather do, or have, than to talk about politics... politics to me is the cornerstone that will continually keep our country in the place that it is... If there is ever a day, that this country can ACTUALLY work together to make outsourcing illegal, adoption outside of this country limited, do something about immigration, and actually try to clean up the fucking mess, that is this country, I might consider getting into politics, until then, Ill just watch from afar, and listen to everyones humbled opinion... and cast my ballot of the person less popular... And for those of you who thinks I didn't vote, I did. I let my voice be heard... but, am I a happy voter? Nope. Election Day is the worst day in the world to me... and the 50 reasons I have posted, are the things I would rather do on election day than to talk or hear or think politics... until there is someone worth a damn to run for an office, I don't wanna hear about what that piece of shit you are fallowing, is going to promise me, just to see 4 years later, we are still in the same river of shit, with less money in my pocket.

Brain Scratcher

2010-10-29T04:48:00.003-04:00

As I sit here today, as a member of this world, full of thought, free will, danger, stupidity, beauty, ugliness and amazement, I cant bring myself to think or conceive the thought, that man doesn't have something to believe in... As it is, in most cases, a lot of people base there faiths on whats seen... A lot of people base there faith on whats heard. A lot, base there's on whats tried, and a few, regardless of religion, they base there faith on what they felt inside... People are MADE to believe in something... everyone has to have a god of there own... It could be drugs, money, power, sex, music, whatever... We will always be lower than whatever we feel like we need. I am the first to admit, that I definitely love music... I even hold musicians to a higher standard... I could care less about there personal lives, but, that's not my god... My God happens to be this guy named Joshua bar Joseph... Some kid, that came to the world in a very mysterious way, born to the world, that the Magi believed came to the world for a special reason... They read it in the stars... few years later, He claims to be the Son Of God... and to the displeasurement of his own people, wanted Him dead... and paid the price on the cross, that THERE books said, that one day, That that glorious day would happen... They tried to hide the truth, But, the truth was reviled, and He is real. To me, He is the truth... He is what I fallow... but like with anything, that we hold up, we don't do it every day, or listen to it, every day... Just like them, I don't pray every day... I don't go to church, I hate church... I hate hypocritical assholes that claims that they are going to the same place as I... I believe that I'm going to see my Grandma, my cousin, and everyone else that believes like I, again. But, I am flawed, and I accept my flaws... I cuss a lot, I watch porn, I drink a little too much every now and then, and yet, I know that my God still forgives me, he still loves me, and that's the beauty of my faith... he allows me to decide, even when I know whats right and whats wrong. Why would I want to fallow anything else? Music changes! I have so many different favorite sounds, more than one favorite band... Sometimes, the beer is cold, sometimes, its warm, it does the same thing to me, but its not what I need every day. First time this week since Friday, I haven't touched alcohol... Porn, is the same thing over and over and over again... yet, I still come back... different porn stars and wannabes doing the same basic human act, and doing it nastily... but it doesn't satisfy... And even though I cuss like a sailor at times, I can hold my tongue pretty well... But without faith, we are pointless... and to say that you are faithless, you are full of shit... everyone has to have something to believe it... something bigger than them... But, that's brings a question on which, I will close this blog... Whats bigger than you, to you?

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-10-28T05:28:00.004-04:00

When I heard this band for the first time, it was almost like a day, like today... the rain was subsiding, and yet, another beautiful melody, and song, caught my attention... This weeks song comes from a band known as "The Antlers." I would describe this band, as a band who has a lot of visions through sound... Most of the songs on there album "Hospice," which this weeks song comes from, has lyrics that are very quiet but amazingly strong... All of the songs on the album is a one word title, with maybe 2 or 3 of them having more than one sylable... I was very impressed with this album... To me, its like listening to a dream that you had... something incredible, strange, and wild, yet exciting. Such an adventure... The song off this album, that I picked to be the "Song Of The Week," is the first song, this year, that made my jaw drop... It starts off with hummed vocal tracks holding melody and harmony, as a the song soothes you with a warm feeling, until the lyrics of hurt from relationships, comes into play... And then the instruments come in... But the beautiful part to this song comes after the lyrics "Letting people in." As you hear the beat take like a heart pounding affect, which fits the song so well, after you wake from a dream... Its a beautiful 8 1/2 minute journey, into learning what how to love the ones who claims to love you, and accepting it as well. :) This is DEFINITELY one of my favorite songs, and I am happy to share it with you today... without any further delays, I give you "Wake," Performed by "The Antlers," On there album entitled "Hospice." :) Enjoy

A hug a day...

2010-10-25T03:55:00.002-04:00

It's nights like tonight, that makes me so happy that I am the person that I am today... Tonight, I had the blessing of sharing, not only many a laugh and funny moment with my brothers and sisters of the "Deadly Alliance," but I had the privilege to talk, and share, and get deep, with 3 of the most beautiful people, that God allowed me to fall in love with tonight... With a lot of laughs, and a lot of sexual tension there (normal for everyone in the service industry). But it was all in good fun. During the time with the 3 souls, I talked to them about the dichotomy of straight and gay guys, and how they act around, and with straight women... I don't agree that they should get away with touching them, with no penalty, as straight guys do... I don't care of your sexual nature, I don't agree with how certain people get away with doing things... We talked about respect, and we talked about some "what if" sexual things, and then, I dropped a bombshell. They didn't believe me when I told them, I was a virgin, but, its true, and I'M not ashamed... And then, we got into the subject of love for those who doesn't deserve it... like my dad. My relationship with my father, is very strange, and weird... The last time, I saw him, my cousin Valton got married. The relationship, as it is, has been and always, probably be strained, due to lies, dislike, misunderstandings, and just all around stubbornness... As much as I don't like the guy... I love him! He made me... He is the reason why I am alive... I cant deny that, I cant deny God of the blessing of me, being here, cause of him... but, that's how it is... That's where our relationship stands... and Im ok with that... I told my new friends that, and they were just wowed... I can understand there reaction. Who, in the world, would ever say, that they love there father, who, to them, is a dead beat? Thats what God calls me to do... No where in the bible does it says, that I have to like him, or even love him... I do have to honor him, and I ask you... Whats a better way to honor ones father, than just to be? I do honor him, but not embarassing the name that bears my blood, or the name that is given to me... I try not to at least. And as I looked into there eyes, and explained who I was, I can tell, that one of them, was really touched, cause, they were going through the same song and dance act as I was with my shitty sperm donor... The individual, who was absolutely beautiful, was touched, as I found out that they didnt even know there father... This person asked me after I came back from the bathroom "What should I do? Should I try to get to know my father?" And my answer was pretty simple... I told them "If you want to, then do it... but if you dont, its ok..." I can tell that they were touched, as the tears was fought off valiently... But I was trying to be honest with them... And I want to be honest with you as well! If you are looking to repair, mend, or just find a means for a relationship, then go and find them, and just give your peace... if you get emotional, make sure, that you have a cap on it... dont do anything, that will NEVER embarass the name of the one who made you who you are... Be proud of who raised you, and who helped allow you to be birth to this world... After the emotions, and the conversation... the alcohol started to take over, and I won 3 dance battles tonight... dont ask me how, but I did... I was awesome... and I did my thang... I ended up doing push-ups, and yes... I was slightly inibriated. lol And, before, during, and after, the person that was touched the most, was given a hug... not usually a huger, they are, but this person, in my eyes, needed it. And I think, they knew they needed it, although they arent the "touchy feely type." But, smiles, and alcohol can mask pain, but one, who can feel the actual pain, can DEFINITELY fix it... even if a bit. :) Tonight was fun... Tonight was necessary. And tonight, is the reason, I believe that God has me where I am, right now. I am blessed, and I am happy to be the man I am today. :) God knew what He was doing... especially when He had me, and an old friend and 4 new friends, talking about "The Build-A-Bear Male Escort Service." Jonathan, thinks IM playing when I say this, but I am going to make us all rich with that idea... lol Anyways, its time to sleep. Thanks for listening. :) Goodnight.

Take Your Time.

2010-10-22T08:43:00.003-04:00

My Uncle, Dr. Billie Ingram, who is a well respected pastor in the Los Angeles area, gave me some great words of encouragement this morning. It was exactly what I needed to hear... If you know me, you know that I never really show any emotions of frustration that often... I have also been told that I dont hide it very well either. lol... Anyways, I try my hardest to be the most patient person I can be... Patience is a virtue, a weight, a burden, a gift, a curse, a mountain, a flight of stairs, a reason to be happy, a reason to be mad, and most importantly, patience is a true emotion. Patience is not something that you can just dial up, and order, and have it at your doorstep in about 45 minutes... Its a life enhancer... As Dr. Ingram puts it:

"In the Bible, patience is not a passive acceptance of circumstances. It is a courageous perseverance in the face of suffering and difficulty; it is an unwillingness to cave in, give up, throw in the towel, surrender or say uncle while under pressure. Immature people are always impatient; mature people are patient and persistent. Impatience and unbelief usually go together, just as faith and patience do. Shalom!"

If there is ever a reason to start the day off great, to start a weekend off right, HELL! To finish out a month, what he says here, is it. Patience is the energy drink to hard work... Hard work gives way to rewards, and completions... if you do everything the right way, dont cut corners, and just wait, what you recieve will be bigger than what you expected... I have made a lot of choices in my life that I hope, and know that one day, will be worth it, and sometimes, it makes me nervous especially in todays society... Todays society is all about the right now, and being in the moment... No one is willing to wait for the ultimate goal of happiness. Everyone wants the persuit of happiness... Patience is the necessary necessity to get us through the day, cause, patience is also the oxygen of faith. Faith is practiced by everyone, every day, every minute... How? Easy... Do you really think about breathing? Do you think about the chair youre sitting in? No? well, thats because, you are practicing faith, that your lungs will function the way they are to, and that the engineer of that chair you are sitting in, know what the hell he was doing... Faith is ultimately, the by product of patience... faithfulness to your Supreme, faithfulness to the ones you love and adore, will give you all you need to be patient. Dealing with those different personalities, laughing at there stupidity, and there crappy ass jokes, helping them through whatever situation, and pain they are facing, telling them the truth about themselves of there current trends, if you can deal with that, you have faith that the friendship will always work... Patience is worth the wait, and that is true. Finding fulfillment in life is worth the wait. :)

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-10-22T01:14:00.004-04:00

this weeks song is a dozy! lol Ive heard this song for the first time at work, and was searching feverishly for who the artist was... So, after about 2 months, I found out who they were, put in a back order at my favorite CD store, and another 2 months later, picked up the album, which is pretty freaking good! The name of the song is called "My Car Is Haunted," performed by The Royal Bangs. Its a song that has a LOT going on with it... theres cowbells, tambourines, computers, keyboards, drums, double-tracked vocals, and a full band... this 5 piece masterpiece, is pretty awesome, and a great band to put on in a DJ set, if he wants to keep the party going. I really don't know what else to say about it, cause, this song speaks for itself. :) So, with no further delays, I give you "My Car Is Haunted." :) Enjoy

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-10-17T23:42:00.003-04:00

I promise Imma get back to my to my regular thursday spot when it comes to my song of the week, but this week, I have the opportunity to share with you, 2 versions of the same song... I have always loved the blues, and I didnt realize how much the blues has influenced a lot of my favorite artists today... It wasnt until I saw the movie "Cadillac Records," that I started to appreciate the blues and its lasting imprint on music today. This weeks song comes from the original, and from the woman who played the legend in the movie... Etta James is the original bad girl of music... with a broken home, alcohol and drug abuse, and a mouth that will shock the devil himself, you can tell that the pain in every word was real... "I'd Rather Go Blind" is portrayed in the movie as the last song recorded in the presence of the founder of legendary "Chess Records," Lenard Chess, as he decided to give up the recording business, and lead a quiet life with his family... Wasnt able to do it, as he died of a heart attack as he left the studio... But, anyways, this song is song beautifully by both Ms. Etta James, and Beyonce'... You can never go wrong with the original, but the way Beyonce' sings the song, it just adds to what is already beautiful... so, heres what Imma do... I will post both versions of the song, and I hope you enjoy both as I do... Beautifully sung in pain... :) Without further delay, I give you, from Etta James, and Beyonce' Knowles, "I'd Rather Go Blind." Enjoy!

8th-10th

2010-10-14T22:13:00.003-04:00

The most fun I had this year, happened this past weekend. Why this one over any other weekend with friends, and family, and all that good stuff? Because, it was one, long in the making... Me and my friend Powell, have been, for the 2 years that I have worked at Twain's, talking about going to a football game together... and this past weekend, we did such a thing... it was a fun time for sure... we left midday Friday, and got to my grandmothers house that afternoon, in Sumter, South Carolina... After sitting, and talking, and a power nap, it was time to party with my boy, in my hometown... So, after a Friday night full of alcohol, seeing former friends, now current assholes, and laughing and talking, and understanding that I have the worlds most understanding, and loving Grandmother, I got some sleep. Getting up early to try to make it to College Gameday, was DEFINITELY out of the plans... I work up feeling like I got ran over by a push-powered lawnmower... NOT cool... but, I woke up, did everything that i could to satisfy my superstition, then it was off to Williams-Brice Stadium that Saturday... a quick stop by Bojangles, made all the different... although, the alcohol was still swirling around inside, I knew it was going to be a long day, but a great one... After the hours of taking in the sights and sounds of the game day atmosphere of Williams-Brice Stadium, and South Carolina, I just knew that October 9, 2010, was going to be a very special day... after taking Powell, all around Columbia, it was beyond an honor to tell him, "Welcome to Williams-Brice Stadium. Home of the South Carolina Gamecocks." after standing around trying to find a break from the sun, we worked our way--ALL the way up to our seats, where, it was staring to fill up with Alabama Fans... Some of them were cockier, than us Gamecocks about there team, and what not, but for the most part, it was a pleasure to share the say with them... It was a welcomed relief from that bitch back in 2005, who would have gotten me fired, if it wasn't my last week at the job, at the time... Fuck her, and everything she think she is... Anyways, The game was played, and it was magical! The atmosphere, the people, the sounds, everything about it was just what the doctor ordered, and what Emily gave us. :) I cant thank her enough for allowing me and my homeboy Powell to have the weekend to enjoy it all, but, I am truly in debt to her, and it was amazing... After the the game, it was back to Decatur... The ride back was fun, just like the ride up... full of music, and laughs, cause ultimately, its just a game, and I was there to enjoy a great game, with my best homeboy. :) Thanks Powell, for sharing it with me. You rule the world. But, the kicker of the weekend was my friend Davidyals wedding... It was interesting to say the least, cause, outside of what we individually believe, it was something to behold... I finally heard her sing, and it was mesmerizing... It was something I never witnessed, but, glad that I did... I love you Davidyal, although you don't believe, I hope and pray that God above holds you and Brandon together forever. :) It was the greatest weekend ever... Its going to be hard to top, but there are many more weekends for me to enjoy, and I cant wait. :) Moving on...

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-10-10T13:29:00.004-04:00

This weeks song, comes from Coheed & Cambria... Imma make this short, cause, The song says it all. For those who don't know, I was in South Carolina this weekend, to see The Gamecocks, play The Alabama Crimson Tide, and the end-result was that my Gamecocks defeated the then #1 team in the nation, who has destroyed opponents dating back to the start of the 2008 season... Mark Ingram won The Heisman trophy cause of the rushing day he had against my Gamecocks last year... But between him and Trent Richardson, who's considered the best running back tandem in the nation, were stopped cold for only 64 yards... but with the 7 sacks that my gamecocks had on Greg McElroy that accumulated a loss of 28 yards, the net yardage for there running game, was 34 yards... Amazing... But enough of all the stats... "Here We Are, Juggernaut" was, literally, a song that has been stuck in my head, knowing that will were playing a team that had a 19 game win streak going, and 18 straight conference wins as well... so, this team was huge! Full of talent, full of potential, and there line of work was proof of why they were the #1 team in the nation... And my boys, came in, and took them down. All game long, we just systematically, and artfully took them down, and it was awesome to witness... This song, in the bands eyes, was there take on the fame they have gained over the years they have been together as a band, and how they have persevered through adversity... And to them, fame is the Juggernaut, that they aren't taking for granted... if you have met these guys, you can tell, they do not take fame for granted... very humble, very sweet, nicest guys ever. Honestly! But, just like my Gamecocks, we respected who was coming to our house... We knew who we had to stop, and for 3 hours on October 9th 2010, my Gamecocks took down the juggernaut, that was named, Crimson Tide... :) Here's a health, Carolina! Forever to Thee... Enjoy!

P.S. I lied when I said it was going to be short... oh well, what ya gonna do?

BIG FAN!: Through the eyes of a big fan Chapter 1.

2010-10-05T19:24:00.003-04:00

Maybe I'm maturing beyond my years, maybe I just mellowed out, or maybe, I just don't give as much of a shit, as I use to, but, I think, that my maturity as a fan of sports, has shown itself in more ways than one... I use to allow a loss of my all-time favorite team, to ruin my weekend, or week... but, now, it doesn't even bother me... If they loss, Ill talk about why they did, how they did, or whatever, then, after that, its on to the next game, on to living life. Most fans here in the south, regardless of team they cheer for, allows there week or weekend be made by the actions on a field... All the fans can do is hope, and pray... its on the players if they wanna win or not... They are the ones out there, sweating, and working hard to try to defeat the opponent they are going to see, or coming to see them... They are the ones who determines the outcome of a sport... not God, not any superstitious ritual, regardless of how fun, or helpful, or sad they may be... Me and an older gentlemen, a week ago, had a nice conversation about fandom in all its glory... How, fans now a days, aren't really fans of the sport, but fans of trying to gain nerves and make a jackass of themselves, to appease themselves, there so-called, douche bag friends, and think that they are funny... What ever happened to going to the game, TO ENJOY THE FUCKING GAME?! What happened to just enjoying your team, as they win or loose accordingly... I don't mind people having fun, or drinking, but when they turn into mindless assholes, for the sake of being mindless, or an asshole, that's when, I don't believe or like the fans, or whatever team... Fans are to appreciate the teams they like, have few but semi-non hurtful words for the opponents, who are all fat with egos, cause THEY coached there teams to be that good... yeah... the fuck-tards sitting in the section right beside me, has all the right to cheer on there boys, cause they were there through it all... the recruiting, the home visits, the calls, the weight training, the film study, the meetings in the coaches offices, the checking of the grades... yeah. they were ALL there... that's bullshit... JUST CHEER FOR YOUR TEAM, AND I WILL CHEER FOR MINES, AND AT THE END, WE WILL LIVE LIFE... Until then, do me a favor, sit down, shut the fuck up, and don't touch me. ENJOY THE GAME SIR!

Where faith lies...

2010-10-03T04:37:00.002-04:00

Its more evident, moreso now a days, that man, likes to have there faith lie in man, and on the words man says, and not on things that arent seen... With the aligations placed on Bishop Eddie Long, it just goes to show that man, isnt trust-worthy at all... Its easy to believe man, but, is it easy to believe what they try to teach you? Is it worth falling in faith because of one man? Is his teachings worth your soul? Trusting man, without questioning intentions, logic, or even if what they are teaching is vital to life... Man hates to be told what to do, but loves the names that do tell them how to live life. Instead of man just leading us, to do right, and to warn us if we continue to go down the path we are currently traveling, we allow them to rule us... although we may have the freedom in politics, religion, assembly, and what not, we can't break the spell, of our dependence on man, as if they are our best friend... Now, the nature of man, is simple... we want everything, and we dont care who we beat down to get what we want... we always want to do whats wrong, for our own gain, our pleasures, our desires, whatever... Sometimes, we fall for the "love of man" so hard, that we abandon everything that we have been tought from birth... When you sit back and think about it, how many lies did your family tell you? How many secrets have they kept from you? Do you know of the losses before or after you? Do you know the sacrifices that they have done for you? Have they been honest when they told you? Are you sure? So, that kinda puts a bend in the whole love condition dont it? A great speeker, and philosopher said it best when it comes to love. Paraphrased, he said, that, no one knows what true love is, because, we are all conditioned to like, and dislike, certain things... if we were to really love, we would love everything, and everyone equally and without bias... again... its paraphrased, but its an enlightening word from J. Krishnamurti... If man, gets you thinking, and wanting to dig deeper into whatever it is, that they are saying, then its definitely from the heart. The heart, is the last trusted muscle of the human body... And even that, is starting to turn black, just like the hearts of everyone whos been hurt by man, in the many different forms of pain given by mans fears... just keep an eye out for yourself, and question everything.

::incert head-shake here::

2010-10-01T23:54:00.003-04:00

Oh Friday nights... The temperature changes for the cool, the kids are running all around the new metal bleachers, and you cant really pay attention to the game, cause, you watch every MTV show happen in front of you, at the game... Tonight, I decided to go and witness a high school football game, for the first time in over 5 years... last time, I did, I was coaching, and left with the feeling of killing a kid or 2... Thank God, I never acted on those feelings, but, the stress, the accidents, and tickets, were enough to allow me to move on from that profession... I love learning what will and will not work for me. :) Easiest way to grow... But tonight, seeing 2 familiar faces, and a bunch of the same things that make me thank God EVERY FUCKING SECOND I am not in high school anymore... But it wasn't all bad. I got to sit down, and enjoy a pretty decent game from 2 pretty decent teams, although the score says otherwise, it was a thoroughly enjoyable game... The Patriots of Mt. Pisgah Christian School, took on the Golden Bears of Holy Innocents High school, and it was good to just see pure football again... the bad calls, the great catches, the hits, the weather, all of it... amazing. But, while talking to the father of one of the kids that I coached at Mt. Pisgah, I was explaining to him, why I hate some of these rules set for high school football... One rule, that I know is prevalent in Georgia is that after the score is separated by 35 points, they allow the clock to run... so, you literally play 12 minutes... And, I don't agree with that... what is the lesson that the kids should learn? Cause that's not sportsmanship... that's bullshit! So, if the score is 35-0 they will just run the clock... I don't like it at all... how are those kids to learn how to tough it out when the world is beating you down? How are you to teach the kids, how to win with grace, and allow your teammates to have a chance to gain experience? I just don't like it at all when rules are made to keep kids from learning how to deal... Maybe about 7 years ago, Georgia made a rule that said, if the state championship game ends in a tie, then it ends in a tie... Reason why they made that rule, is because, as the story goes, a young man, who was a kicker for one of the teams in the championship game, (I don't have the details, but you can probably look it up), missed a game winning or tying field goal, and ended up loosing the game... later that night, committed suicide... so, they made a rule that said, that, if it ends in a tie, its a tie... over one kid who couldn't huff it... really? now, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but seriously!? That is crap... since then, the rule has been revised, but its just not pure football... like, if the ball goes out of the end zone on a kickoff, there is no return possible... its dead, and the ball goes on the 20. so, they cant return it or down it? They just stop the game so they can set it up? but, when its on the one, they can return it? WHAT?! I just don't get it... who are they trying to protect? I mean, they have on pads, and a helmet, totally upwards to 25lbs, not to mention, they a coached to play as safe as possible, so, why not allow the boys to fly around? KIDS ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!! Tell me, when you watch kids, as they run free, they don't get hurt... they bump there heads, get up, and laugh and run again... they fall down stairs, laugh, and get up, just to do it again... they jump off of roofs, with umbrellas, trying to slow there fall, not knowing it wont, and back at it... run into walls, and making breakfast the next morning... so, for these rules are not protecting the kids, they are soaking the mothers worn out vaginas... They are made so they can sleep easier at night... and I think its bullshit... LET THE BOYS PLAY!!! that's all I'M saying...

SONG OF THE WEEK!

2010-10-01T01:41:00.002-04:00

so yeah... last week, was too long to even think about the blog, but its a new week, and new music has been coming in and out of the record stores on my dime... this weeks song comes from Dave Sitek of TV on the Radio... He stands out in the group, cause, hes the only member that isn't black. HEH! but anyways, his side project is called Maximum Balloon, and its a GREAT album (self titled)! And it starts off strong with this seeks song, which is titled "Groove Me." This song, is exactly what is great about the overall band that is "TV on the Radio." Kyp Malone, has his side project called "Rain Machine." Tunde Adebimpe, is acting, and Dave is making the noise, and honestly, its amazing, that these 3, out of the 5 members of the band, can make such beautiful music together, and separately... With every song featuring a singer from either the band, or from another band... and it blends beautifully with there different talents... so, I highly recommend you picking up this album... but with no further delay, "Groove Me," by Maximum Balloon. Enjoy :)

Always in a goddamned marathon...

2010-09-23T19:28:00.004-04:00

This week had to be the longest week this side of the year for me... but not only that, this has been a long stretch of time... going back about 3 weeks now, there has been in my world, about 5 different deaths that hasn't affect me directly, but has really affected those in the world, outside of my world... just in 2 weeks, there were 3 deaths has directly affected members of the University of South Carolina football team, the biggest one coming on Monday, when the reception and yards leader, legend, and all around good guy, Kenny McKinley committed suicide... One of our linemen lost his father before Saturdays game against Furman University, and on Sunday Night, C.C. Witlock lost his brother due to gun violence at his hometown of Chester, South Carolina... So, a huge bug known as death has touched the university... a friend of mines went as far to call God an "asshole," When a good friend of his was found dead 2 weekends ago, when the friends parents went to his house... that's sad... But no death is more important than the other... everyone gets affected, who knows the people who are affected... never an easy pill to swallow... When you loose a close family member, or if someone you know looses a family member, its never easy to try to help, cause all you can do is console... last thing anyone who's grieving, is to be given the same day bullshit... what I mean by that, is by being a friend... you know, trying to joke, and be funny... not the time for it... But the best way to honor the dead, regardless of how they died, is to live your life. Just learn the lessons, that are left from there absence, and move on to make your life mean something in there honor... But, like I said, this has been a very long week... Outside of the loss of life, I saw the girl I had a crush on, and her super awesome boyfriend... blah... And I think I'M getting sick... but all in all, I'M still kicking, and life is grand... I still have a job, I still have my health, and I cant complain about anything, except for the fact, that there is nothing to complain about... The lesson I think I was to learn this week is this... Everything has its time and its place... and although you may not agree with God's decision, or whomevers choices, just go with the flow, and you will be surprised, at how big the blessing is at the end of the change... So, keep running... and your Marathon will have an end, when the Good Lord is ready for it to end. :) goodnight.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-09-17T03:42:00.002-04:00

If anyone knows anything about GOOD music, then you should know the name "Howlin' Wolf." This is one of the many artists that has graced the Chicago Blues scene of the 40's and 50's, and early 60's... He was recorded at the famous Chess Records Studio, where we have gotten the greats, such as Etta James, Little Walter, and of course, Muddy Waters... But what makes Howlin' Wolf stand out, is the fact, that he sounded different... With such a voice, it was made to sing the blues, and This weeks song, doesn't disappoint. Its called "Spoonful," and it talks about how just a little bit of your love, can make the world a better place... its a great song, and, it needs no explanation about the emotion, cause, its the blues! :) So, I want you to feel, and enjoy this weeks song, by Howlin' Wolf, Spoonful. :) Enjoy!

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-09-09T18:01:00.002-04:00

This weeks song, is the reason that, I should now listen to an ENTIRE album, instead of buying it for just one song... I finally listened to Fiona Apples' album "Extraordinary Machine," from beginning to end, and I found the most emotionally driven, yet subdue song of just taking time out, to think about what really means anything to you, and why things bother you, and what should, and shouldnt bother you... "Red Red Red," Is that song... Talking about how she dosent get complimentary colors, and the importants of diamonds... Its such an intresting, and beautiful song. What makes it the most beautiful, is how subdue, and mellow, she displays the rage. I cant believe that I have had this album for almost a year, and never heard it all the way through... I am glad that I did. Life lesson learned... if you buy it for one song, you will suprise yourself at how good the album is. So, with no further delay, I give you "Red Red Red," by Fiona Apple. enjoy.

FOR THE RICHARDSONS

2010-09-07T02:16:00.004-04:00

So, as I write this, I think and say this... First impressions are EVERYTHING! Ive made many a mistake that made people think of me as what I'm not... And sometimes, you get that second chance, but its rare... This is all leading up to my first ever Georgia Tech Football Game... This past Saturday was probably THE MOST beautiful day Ive ever witnessed in a long while... It was just beautiful... Georgia Tech was playing The Bulldogs of South Carolina State University. Before the game, it was trying to meet up with family, and say hello, and exchange greetings, and all that good stuff... it was good to see John, Uncle Yank, and Lil Yank, Grandma, Al, Aunt Freida, and it sucks that I missed everyone else that was there, but oh well... Well, before the game, I went on to get into my seat, Section 129, Row 1 Seat 13. warm-ups just beginning, and I'm just sitting there, taking in the beauty of the day, and the stadium. And just before the end of warm-ups, I meet the cutest old couple in the world--The Richardson's... 2 alumni of SCSU, who has been married for years, and was there to cheer on there bulldogs... I was there to cheer on my cousin Yari King #13. So, ultimately, I was cheering for the bulldogs as well... But, in the splendor that is Gold and White, outlined with blue, playing the Garnet cladded, trimmed in Blue, the game wasnt what I was there to really observe... I was there to watch the crowd... Now for those of you who don't know... the majority of all HBCU schools fans are over the age of 60, and most of the time, they sit and watch the game, and dance when the band is playing... That's how its always been... Its not like the major universities of the SEC or the ACC, where you stand all game long... Well, The game started, and after the national anthem, Mr. and Mrs. Richardson sat down to enjoy the game... a little ways into the first quarter, this Asian lady came by to get her seat (section 129, row 1, seat 10), and she not only stood up, but leaned over the wall... to me, it didn't make no never mind... I could move around and make watch the game from either leaning over, OR, turning my head and watching the scoreboard located to my left... But, because, Mrs. Richardson couldn't see the game, she politely asked the Asian lady, if she could sit down so that her and her husband can watch the game, to which the lady said to her: "You know you can either stand up, or you can look at the scoreboard..." Mmhmm... OK, kinda assholish, but slide able... A little later, the same question was asked by Mr. Richardson, to which the lady responded with the same thing... So, after a little bit of game has gone by, the score by this time, I think, is 7-3 GT, the ladies husband comes to claim his seat (section 129, row 1, seat 9) and he commenced with the tradition of standing... Like Ive mentioned before, The Richardson's was well into there 70's and the nicest people in the world... Mrs. Richardson was pretty funny. Something about old people... they always have something funny to say, cause they've been there, and done that. lol And she was very knowledgeable of the game... it was fun. So, back to the story, Mrs. Richardson asked the man to sit down so they can see the game, to which he tried to get big with Mr. Richardson, talking some noise... now, I'm watching this, just making sure that this guy wasn't going to do an asshole move, cause, although I may not know Mr. and Mrs. Richardson, I wasn't going to allow anyone to try to make themselves feel big, by picking on the elderly... luckily, Mr. Richardson, didn't flinch in the slightest... This little man was trying to show that he wasn't scare, but, as the old saying goes "Don't start what you cant finish." And so after this thing, that claimed to be a man, tried to get in Mr. Richardson's face, he had his wife, who was obviously stronger than him, hold him back, and switch seats, so an incident wont go down... after that, it was over... People finally got tired, and started to sit down, and Everyone was able to enjoy the game... All of this should have been avoided... but it wasn't, cause Georgia Tech has made an effort to have fans that will respect there team, and the opponent, and make it a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone, friend or foe... The Gold Standard states:

THE GOLD STANDARD PLEDGE:
I pledge to honor and uphold The Gold Standard. I will strive to create a positive environment for my team and fellow fans. I will cheer for Georgia Tech, rather than against the opponent. I will conduct myself in a positive manner, showing respect, responsibility and leadership to Georgia Tech. It's up with the White & Gold...Georgia Tech is out for a victory!

This comes from the official GT athletic website... And, with this being played at the beginning of the game, and on the website, as fans, cheer on there team, regardless, should know what this is, these 2 shit suckers, did not show that initiative at all... So, that did not leave a good impression with me. Another thing that I noticed, that I didn't like, was the way the fans showed there displeasure with the resound that was and is The Marching 101 (SCSUs' marching band)... Because, the fans on the far side of the stadium could not hear there band play, they decided to boo the visiting band, because, they were the only thing that they could really hear... And The Marching 101 was very entertaining in all aspects, from the shiny silver sousaphones, to the passion that they played every note, I enjoyed what I heard... even the same nerds that were pissed off that they decided to go to a blow out and not to the True Blood Q&A at Dragon*Con, doesn't give them the right, to boo a band that clearly outplayed there own band... They are the same ones who was cheering them and applauding them after they played there portion of the halftime show... pretty classless I think. But the kicker was the douche bag frat fags that tried to sneak alcohol into the game, and got caught by there friend, who is campus police officer, were being dicks... the man, by himself, confiscated 8 flasks of alcohol from there fuck holes who wasn't willing to get drunk before, or after the game, and acting a damn fool, saying some pretty fucked up shit to the cheerleaders in front of us... Those pretty ladies, I must say, did a great job, although I wasn't cheering, I was watching there skill, and it was awesome to see how much time, and work they put in. That is commendable for sure. After the game, I said goodbye to the Richardson's, and I hope nothing but happiness for them together, cause, they were so cute and amazing, taking the bullshit from strangers, and its fucked up, that they had to go through that, but, at the end, GT's weaknesses was exposed, and it shows that, regardless of the score, Georgia Tech showed why the ACC sucks, and why SCSU is 4 time MEAC champions. But with all that said, I say this... My first impression with the whole game at Bobby-Dodd Stadium at Historic Grant Field, was one that I wont forget, but hate that I will remember... I was not pleased with any aspect of the fans around me, outside of Kevin... a GT alum who actually had since enough to just enjoy the game. Cool guy... I was not happy at how the fans acted, and it was something that I have learned, to never be around again... I just know that I will not be in that section again, BUT, I will definitely go to another game... but I will be cautious of the people that are around me. Georgia Tech should live up to that Gold Standard... especially those who graduated from there... and goes there, but wants to be the everyday frat fuck... Its embarrassing, and sad, and should be addressed... but I'm just one observant person from one side of the stadium... I don't know how it was elsewhere, but my first time, as fun as it was, was not a good first impression... G.T. (GET your shit TOGETHER tech.). Not to mention the refs mic wasn't working all game... In a school full of engineers, you would think that 1 person, could have had that working properly... STEP YOUR GAME UP GT! So yeah... Saturday was a day that was awesome. Goodnight.

Getting it all out

2010-09-07T01:26:00.003-04:00

Well, here I am again... up, awake, big day ahead tomorrow, and I am having, yet, another time in life, where I have to shut up the world around me, and figure up what the fuck do I want, and who the fuck am I... What I want is to be better than what I am not... I want to be bigger than what I am, but, I feel as if I am trapped, again... Im in my own prison, that I built for me... I dont think that I am made to be happy... I am to give happiness, but never to be happy... 27 years old, single, always putting dreams in the slow lane, abandoning promises, just nothing going the way I would have imagined it... All the hard work feels as if its all for nothing, but somehow super satisfying, cause, I worked HARD for it... But all in all, all the work I do, and all the happiness I give, leaves me here blogging about how unhappy I am... The title of this blogsite, that I created is "EVERY THOUGHT MUST GO!!!" I named it that, because, I wanted to get my thoughts out, without consiquence from anyone... I can say whatever the fuck I want, and I dont have to conform to anyones ideas, but mines... Anyways, What am I doing to make my world better? What am I doing to try to make myself happy? Not a lot unfortunately... Im just going through the motions, and living up to the expectations that people have given me, without my notice, all the while, trying to hold that position on top of the pedistal that Ive been placed... its weird... but it is what it is... Even in faith, Im not happy... I have abandoned the basics... I rarely pray, I dont read the bible, not only because I hate reading, but because, I just dont want to read it... I hate ANYTHING that contains the word "church," and Im content in my relationship with Jesus Christ, My Savior. But, this weight that has been given to me, is becoming a bit too much, and Im not sure, how much more of this shit, I can take... Is it worth abandoning, everything that everyone hopes of me? Is it worth scratching away the memories of the places, people, and times, that drew smiles across my face, just to start from right now, and make sure that shit is great for me, and my sanity, and myself? It may be... But unfortunately, yet fortunately, I will never be able to find that delete button in this life time, to start over... cause, although, Im in a bad spot now, tomorrow is a gift, that I HAVE to charish... regardless of how I may feel... cause, who knows if the next tomorrow is mines or not... So, although I bitch, I am happy to hvae the ability to feel... I am able to feel rejection, hesitation, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, lonliness, and to pass on the same... Things will change... even if I have to change it myself, so be it... until then, congratulations to you, and your persuits... May the nice guy never find joy...

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-09-02T18:00:00.003-04:00

This weeks song comes from one of my favorite new bands... Ive known about these guys for nearly 2 years now, and oh my lord, I have been blessed again with there talents... I revealed a song a while ago from these guys called "Active." And I think they topped that with one of there latest release called "Mandatory." This song is warm. Yes, warm! Its a beautiful song, that basically talks about the work that it takes to maintain the love of those who we love. Its a great song with a melody that will make you smile. I recently saw the video, and I was just wowed... This song comes from The Five One. The Five One is a band based out of the D.C. area, and is the true definition of beauty, and uniqueness... There names are RED, BLUE, GREEN, and GOLD... If you ask them for there real names, they will tell you, RED, BLUE, GREEN, and GOLD! They are colors. They live, eat, breathe, there colors, and that's who they are, cause as BLUE says, "People die, but COLORS lasts forever." Pretty true. Good guys who loves to play, make, and create music. I am thoroughly amazed at what they have produced in the years they have been painting towns. And, last night, I got the blessing to share with you this beautiful made song. Again, I guarantee that you WILL smile. Such a great song, with a great message... work at what makes you love. That's what I take from it. And without further ado... From The Five One, "Mandatory." enjoy :)

Sometimes, all you can do is shake your head.

2010-09-02T02:38:00.003-04:00

How does one find the means or the worth to respect a drug dealer? Why would someone want to celebrate the life of someone who has taken so many? I dont see the greatness in a low life that profits off of feeding someone there death mean, through whatever drug, that one may need to feel good... After hearing a song by "Rick Ross" called "BMF (Blowin' Money Fast)" And the first line of the chorus is "I think I'm Big Meech, Larry Hoover..." After hearing this, I had to look up who the fuck these people are... Turns out, both of them are, not only in jail for multiple crimes dealing with murder, drugs, and what not, but, they were the big names, in the American drug cartels that is killing people all over the southeast. And for someone to say, that they think they are Big Meech and Larry Hoover, has nothing to really strive for... Its easy to say, its only a song and lyrics, yeah... But is it just lyrics? Is it just a song? Does anyone really wanna end up behind bars or in a box, over trying to get money, from people who depends on there master to serve them there small portion to feel alive? I dont think so... I dont know whats the worth of finding favor in the lowest form of creation, but ya know? I am not one to judge... however, I think everyone can strive to find someone a little bit better than someone who is in jail. But whoever you look up to, make sure they are out of jail at least... I know it may seem im all over the place in this blog, but I dont care... its late, im tired, and excited, and my superstitons is turning me super nervous right now, so, if its all over the place, then im sorry, but i will close with this... any black man who finds it necessary to profit off the sickness of others, and wants to feed that sickness for the gain of money, is scum, and needs to be shot. Thats all. going to bed now.

For The Love Of The Game.

2010-08-28T00:01:00.003-04:00

Aaah... this is the time of the year, where men become boys, and robots to the out of control, out of our hands, world of American football. With 6 grueling months between The Super Bowl, and Preseason, its just 1 week, that every southerner, who actually has a soul, and a faith that there team will finally do it this year, decides that football is more important than life itself. Football, in its own right, is just a game. its a game that teaches you how to control your actions, and emotions. It also teaches you the value of teamwork, and faith that the people around you, that you bled with, grind through the heat, and humidity with, and shared hugs, and tears with, will be there for you, regardless of the rights or wrongs in life. Football has such a power over the country, that people, such as myself, will go overboard in fandom and do everything except pray that there team will FINALLY have there day in the sun...

The beauty of football is that it allows you to show emotion, it allows you to be a fan of the drama that unfolds second by ticking second. Its a beautiful game with colors, sounds, and a feeling that will never be explained or described... Between tailgating, the pretty ladies decked out in the colors of there favorite team, the different fans in there different degrees of fandom, its the only time in all the nation where, for 12 to 14 hours a year, we have something in common... We all love the game of football. Not only do you see the comradery of the players, but the fans, of all colors, backgrounds, creeds, and differences of political, or religious opinions are all forgotten, as we ALL cheer on our teams and dance the opponents out of the stadiums. If football could cure cancer, it would. There is just something about this small escape from the trials of the week, just to allow 1 game... 1 60 minute period of time that's controlled by man, that spans 3 hours, to determine if the week was worth the hell, or if it was all Murphy's Law... I can attest to how crazy football makes me...

I am so thoroughly engulfed with the love of my University of South Carolina Gamecocks, that I allow superstitions get the best of me... the things that wouldn't normally bother me during the rest of the year, is something that I have to address every week, and I must do the same things, or else, I screwed my team... Now, lets get real. I know that its not all on me... I do not have the power to screw my team, myself... they are the only ones who prepare all week for the team on the schedule, and they are the ones who has to have the timing down pact. They are the ones who has to focus there minds, to create plays, and fight through fatigue, and the elements, and the opponent, AND the mind games they bring to throw your team off. So, its not my actions that determine the outcome of the game, but to me, the individual fan, it makes it all amazing, and that much more fun to be a fan. What makes me a fan, is the fact that I love the game from all aspects. From the meaningless, smell of the pads, to the feel of the dew as the world cools, football is an amazing human experience. This is the greatest time of the year for me, and millions of others who play, has played, and still playing, beginning to play, watch, listens, feels, and loves the sport, and all of its theatrics that makes it special to us all, personally. To some, football is a tie to a good memory of family bonding... to some, its a reason to smile, whatever your reason, just know that football turns boys into men, and unlocks the meaning of passion for a lot of us. 2010 football season should be a good one. I cant wait, and I welcome it with open arms.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-08-27T00:06:00.002-04:00

This weeks song is from a band named "The Apples In Stereo." Its a song that Ive heard on many a commercial, but I never knew who sung it, until I decided to finally LISTEN to the album I realized the band who sung the song. I ran into this band for the first time, about 10 years ago now. If you love cartoons, as much as I, then you would remember back in the height of the popularity of The Power Puff Girls, there was this TV spot, that was a music video, with a live action, for lack of a better term, Power Puff Girl Monster, destroying a city, as this band played the song "Signal In The Sky (Lets Go!)," And that's when I fell in love with the sound that is, "Apples In Stereo." I recommend you listen to that song, cause its great, and it brings me back to a good time in life. :) But anyways, there song "Sun Is Out," Is the song of the week... its definitely a feel good song. Kinda hippie-ish, but all the same, amazing to listen to, and feel. :) So enjoy!

P.S. I will be blogging regularly again soon... been in a bit of a block. :) Hang in there guys! Love ya! and THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING!!! :)

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-08-23T00:00:00.002-04:00

Hey guys. Im sorry I have been quiet lately. I have been in a weird space, and just going through another version of my own personal writers block and havent really found a way out of it... however, I cant deny yall music, and I figured that this weeks song (although its not thursday), would be one from one of my favorite bands of all time... For those of you who dont know, or cant even tell, Jack White is actually pretty political. In his song "Icky Thump," he has lyrics that goes "White Americans. What? Nothing better to do? Why dont you kick yourself out. You're an immagrant too!" This is talking about the immigration fight, around the beginning of the issue. He doesnt go on and on about everything political, all of his shows are fun, and amazing, and doesnt have one political bone in it... He may have a commentary on todays society in the media, but for the most part, its all music, peppermints, and rock and roll. Going with the theme of what I was saying earlier, This weeks song is from The White Stripes, and from there self-titled debut. "The Big Three Killed My Baby" Is a song written during the time of Detroit's declining affect in the automotive world. With lazy ideas, lay-offs, and closings of many of the countries big names in automotives, this song taps into the frustration that it creates for the common man, on the outside looking in, at least thats how I take it... What I love about this song is the anger in sound, and the direct thrust of lyric on beat, and music, and the passion in voice. This song is amazing, and this is one of the many reasons why I love this band. So with no further delay, I give you "The Big Three Killed My Baby," From The White Stripes. Enjoy :)

SONG OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-08-10T02:59:00.006-04:00

I am doing this blog on this day, to, not only make up for the past 2 weeks that I did not post a song, but also to introduce a lot of you to someone you may or may not know already... When I met this guy, it was late last year, when the earth was starting to cool down from ye, and at a bar. I saw my boys Kamal, and Geno, and went into a bar, grabbed a beer, came out, and joined in the conversation with them, and this white kid, that was making us laugh about the BET Awards when Lil Wayne changed up the whole censoring method of the guy who practiced censoring him during practice. lol Funny funny night. Well, later, Kamal introduced me to Tom Peters, a Decatur native, and a super nice guy. While talking to Tom, I found out that he is an underground hip-hop artist, and he was telling me all about his credentials, and how he loves the art of hip-hop, and how he does not like how so called "rappers." In the game today... Tom P is someone I consider to be a friend. hes a good hearted southern boy who is a hard worker and a believer in his talents and passion. But what makes him such a fun subject is the fact that he is amazingly talented! Tom has a fan base that sits in the thousands, and is growing daily, due to word of mouth... Recently, Tom just came back from a tour that he was opening for the headliner Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. He has been working his whole life to this point to be the greatest rapper known to the world, and with his latest release "Root For The Underdog," He is even closer to doing that. The release party to this event had over a thousand people, and he damn near sold every album he had on him that night! Matter of fact, I think he did sell out that night... The album is exactly what makes me love Atlanta, it made me smile to hear a lot of the tracks, cause its just like any night here in this city... Hopping from city to city, town to town, bar to bar, friend to friend... And the weekends that is full of regrets and puzzle piecing. This album is amazing, and a true show of love from man to city. Tom has a unique gift to bend words and do it phonetically, and clearly. He also does it all with deep lyrics that reps the greatest city in the world, Decatur, Georgia. Although I am not a native to Georgia, I love this city more than anything... And Tom P is a great reason to love this city. All he wants to do is make good music for the world to love, and he does it all with the people he love, and who has helped him along his path. So, the song I chose that displays his talents is "Intro." Its an introduction to the world of who Tom P is, and he does it without apology... And when you listen to him, you will realize that you have to do 1 of 2 things, either get on board, or get ran the fuck over by the train that is about to come down hill... Here's to you Tom! Thanks for being genuine and awesome. And without further delay, from his sophomore project titled: "Root For The Underdog," Intro. Enjoy :)

BED RAGE!!!

2010-08-02T23:20:00.002-04:00

So, apparently, there is a crisis amongst myself... I guess it should be addressed, but all the while, is it really that important to me, as it seems to be with other people? My virginity has been top subject in a conversation with me and a friend, and heres my stance with it... ITS MY MOTHERFUCKING CHOICE!!! But like this friend, and others who are friends of mines, who is concerned about my virginity, says that its not going to be cool when Im 35. And that I need to get it done... Ok? well, again, ITS MY FUCKING CHOICE!!! Sex is something, that Im willing to wait for! I dont see the need for it, and I am trying my hardest to not fall into the trap that is called "A STATISTIC." I have never really liked being a part of the crowd... I dont thrive in being accepted for what I can say that I did, but dont have proof that I did or not... I can go off and tell you now that I am not a virgin anymore... but its up to you to believe me or not... But the truth of the matter is this... Im still a virgin, and I hope to be one for a while longer, until I find someone whos willing to wait for me if not wait with me... But I just love how some find great care in the fact that I never had sex, and want me to have sex, but not in the fact that I may have some sort of life threatening illness, or I could be contemplating suicide, or anything else that could put my happiness in jepordy... I am thankful that thats a bigger concern for you, than anything else about me... Oh the life of the nice guy who decided to be different. Dont get me wrong. I know that we are sexual beings. Our bodies, and health depends on it, but I refuse to allow my instincts to be greater than my dignity. People have to realize something about me... I make choices to keep me from going crazy. I dont do things, or I do things that makes me happy, and not necessarily to feel good. Cant allow myself to get off, at the expence of someone else, just so I can feel good... What I need and what I want, are 2 different things. Although, at times, I want to have sex, I, PERSONALLY, dont feel the need to have sex. So, lets do this eh?... Out of respect for me, and how I feel about all of this, leave me the fuck out of it... its nothing that its in my need to do now list. My sex life is ok for now... if and when I do want to lose it, I will let ya know, but until then, lets just allow it to not matter.

Im being bled dry.

2010-07-27T02:36:00.002-04:00

I cant be sure if the problem is with me, or with the world... I just don't fit in anywhere, anymore... I am not the same bright and shiny star of the city as I once was, and I believe its because, the world is becoming more brainwashed as the days get older... Everything, now a days, is politically driven. Nothing is discovered anymore. Its all forced. No one has proven to me the benefits what the elected has promised. No one has shown me the greatness to come... I'm hearing the same story over and over again, and I'm stuck hoping that the next time I open the refrigerator, something will be in there... I think I could be going insane. I think I am slowly loosing the grip of my dreams, as reality, disturbingly so, becomes more of burden, than a reason to be happy... With a head filled to the brim with regrets, bad memories, lies, and just general bullshit, I don't know where I can fit in there anymore either. The skin, that I'm blessed with is becoming too closed in... Its becoming tight, unbearable, annoying... Living has become a chore, when it use to be a luxury... When did life become such a chore to where, we have to depend on the materials around us to make our dreams come true? When will we quit allowing the materials be our stall worth in our personal and God given right for the pursuit of happiness? Have we tire of our happiness and gotten use to the mundane, and the dreary? Apparently I have. This is how I feel... this is my reality... dreams are fading, but I'm trying to clean up the mess so, I can harvest them, and watch them grow. I have to clean it up... I want to live. I want to dream, I want my dreams to live... I just hate the work. Might as well get it done right?

SONG OF THE WEEK!

2010-07-22T19:46:00.003-04:00

My favorite time of the week! Its when I give you the song that I like this week... This week comes from a Brooklyn quartet that I discovered a year ago, when they opened up for TV on the Radio. These guys stand out in there own unique way... with beautiful harmonies, well written lyrics, and a very soothing and laid back sound to put it all in, Grizzly Bear, is what makes this band amazing... This weeks song is a popular one from the band, and if you pay attention to commercials, the new Volkswagen "punch bug" commercials, the song in the background, is by this band, which is also the song of the week. So here you go! Here's "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear, on the album titled "Veckatimest." Hope you enjoy. :)

Change Comes From Within... And Sometimes, The Outside Can Influence It.

2010-07-19T21:30:00.003-04:00

So, how I am to better what I am now? How can I enhance me? What would be the best way to better myself, and actually quit living in this fucked up world that I somehow made, molded, and sealed in concrete and steel? I don't know, but I think today was the best way to do it, by trying something new. I don't expect it to stick or anything, but I have a new nickname, that I actually like... I plan on molding something new around it... without allowing it to change me on the inside. How can I harness and control the dreams of wild, and allow them to flourish? Easy! I just have to find a way to open up the flood gates slowly, and control the flow of creativity, and allow myself to be happy with whoever the fuck I am suppose to be. Its not that hard, its just gonna require a change, and a little bit more hard work swimming back upstream. Its time where I stop making excuses, and actually just GO! I hate stepping over people, and I hate it when people step over me, but its going to come down to where I just have to watch out for me, and not allow bullshitters to continue to bullshit there thoughts into me. I gotta strengthen myself mentally, and spiritually. I have to get better for me, and for the ones that I love. They deserve the best that I have, and I deserve to give them the best that I do have, and what I can be. What does that entell? I don't know! I just know that once I work on me, the changes will be evident. If not to me, definitely to you. You, as a friend, deserve my best, and I will give you my best, even if I don't get it from you. :) So, here's to change, and how scary, and awesome, and wonderful, and liberating that it can be. I love you.

There are just some things, that I cant explain...

2010-07-15T22:56:00.000-04:00

It is evident, in this time of our worlds history, that people lives more according to the saying "out of sight, out of mind." We would rather have something that we can see and touch in front of us, than to have someting to believe in thats beyond the physical world. And if you have any type of faith, youre looked upon as crazy, stupid, or dumb, as if whats beyond, isnt real. And now a days, its scarier than ever before. People always like to bash those who actually wonders whats on the other side of the wall in the mirror, or whats the furthest star we can find in the night sky... Those of us who have hope, has faith. Some of us who has hope, doesnt have faith, but I definately believe that the 2 coinside. The days of when we had to believe in God to get us through the winter, or get us through this time of difficulty, for example: Slavery, and The Holocaust... Blacks and Jews had to hold on to the little bit of hope that God would send, there way, a savior to lead them to freedom and acceptance from the rest of the world... Another example is The Civil Rights Movement... With such leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Mega Evers, Malcom X, Rosa Parks, Coretta Scott King also sad to say, Jesse Jackson... These men and women, have strived for equality... and years later, after they all have passed, excluding Jesse, we have gotten here through prayer, hope, and faith. The Jewish people was inslaved by the Egyptians. And it was Moses who led them to freedom. It was Abraham Lincoln who gave my ancestors freedom to be counted as a person, and to be free. And its all an accumilation of faith, that ONE DAY, we would be free... Hope that we will have the chance to be able to live life without boundries, or confinements. And thats where most christians, like myself lies... I didnt wanna live life in the confinements of worldly acceptance... I dont need drugs, sex, or anything popular to be accepted in todays world... When most people see me, they see a nice guy who doesnt do much to try to offend, always wanna have fun, and just live life as smoothly as possible... Some see me and someone who doesnt know what fun is, just wanna stay in, and not do the cool thing... Whatever... Let me lay down who I am. I am a guy who struggles with acceptance. I am a guy who walks on eggshells with his friendships. I would do anything for anyone and make sure that they are ok, even if they wanna shut me, and the rest of the world out. I am a man of my word. when my yes' and my nos' mean EXACTLY what they are. I am a hard worker, who gets the job done... I am someone who likes to laugh, and hates where life has me, but content, with where I am in life. I care a lot, and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I dont care to change who I am, but I am being forced to be something that IM not, a mean person... I cuss a lot, and I definately, have a better way of dealing with my anger... I talk about how I would kill them or hurt them as detailed as possible, cause I believe that talking about it, is better than doing it. I am a devout fallower of my Savior Jesus Christ, and I believe beyond the physical. I know where my faith lies, I know where my heart is, and I know that my witness is definately unorthodox... Thats where I lie... I cant speak for other Christians out there, but I know that I am not all that the world thinks I should be. I love to drink every now and then, I love to flirt a lot, and I love to flirt more when intoxicated... I cant get enough good music, I dont get along with my family although I love them... Basically, I consider myself a stone in a river... over time, being resistant to the current, its already polished and smooth, naturally. I know that this is not the end of life... Life will continue after I die... I will see friends and family that believed like I, again. Its not popular to have faith, especially where there are Christians out there who gives Christianity a bad name. always lying, and using Gods' name to cover there asses for some bullshit that they tried to pull by blaitenly taking Gods' name in vein and trying to gain something for themselves. So, basically, this e-mail is to say that, faith is something seen and practiced all day, every day, by everyone. Believe it or not...

2010-07-15T13:10:00.002-04:00

I found this weeks' song about a week and a half ago, and I cant go pass it on such a stellar album so far. I have heard this name circle around a few of my friends, and luckily, the day that I heard this song, I found out who sung it, which is the name that Ive heard a few times--Wolf Parade. I don't know much about this band, or how many albums they have right now, I know that there latest project entitled "Expo 86" is mind-blowing. Its high energy, its fun, its really good... but my favorite song of the week, from this band is the best song Ive heard on the album SO FAR! Again, I cant get pass the song! lol But honestly, Its a great tune, that has it all... sing along parts, a reason to dance, a reason to get emotional, its an awesome summer song! So, with no further me, rambling on, here is "What Did My Lover Say? (It Always Had to Go This Way) by Wolf Parade. Enjoy

Part Me, Part Stupidity, Equals You Fucking Up...

2010-07-11T22:16:00.006-04:00

Well, I did it again... I decided to be an ass, who thought he was funny, and then put something in my reputation that made me out to be a bad guy... Trying to be funny, is not the thing to do sometimes, and yet, I learned another hard lesson... Not only did I taint a good friendship, I cant trust myself anymore, and its all my fault... Things are cool now and what not, but for my protection, and for there happiness, Im just going to keep my distance from the one I offended the most... The one thing I hate doing more than anything, is hurting my friends, and what you think is innocent fun, it can really put a dent in any friendship... oh well, moving on from there... gues its time to do all the repairs possible from here on. Its crazy... I hate this feeling... but its done now... Just the moving on part is hard, cause Im the type of guy who dont forget shit... But yeah... what can ya do. I owned up to my wrongs, I apologized, I didnt bullshit anyone... And still, the cold. its fukced up... But what I did learn is this... Just dont fuck around anymore, and because, I have been in this hell before, over some bullshit in the past, I just stay away. I keep my distance, and my words. They gotta be the first to talk to me... I just dont wanna go through this ever again. Still learning... But I also learned something as well... THE GOOD GUYS NEVER HAVE THE ABILITY TO LOVE... even friendship is hard to come by, cause you can fuck up and mess up a good thing going. Relationships are fickle and can be difficult sometimes... but you just move on I guess... thats all you can do. burn the bridge, pop some popcorn in the fire, and just sit back and wave from a far. Its safer that way... Cause, with that method, there is no way, I can hurt anyone, there is no way I can tarnish my good name any further, and I refuse to continuously put myself out there... I just gotta use better judgement, and think ahead, even while under the fun of alcohol... Motivated, tought, learned, and now, GO!

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-07-09T04:17:00.003-04:00

This weeks song has to be THE SINGLE BEST song to show the emotion of a man who is going through some shit with a shitty woman. and how much he loves her... The man rather be miserable, than to be free... This very beautiful song is constructed by the late great Curtis Mayfield, called Fool for you... This song seriously catches the emotion in sound and lyric. It is definitely a great song that is rarely appreciated. Sung by The Impressions, its definitely a great song to pick for this weeks Song Of The Week. Every Man can relate to this song in one facet or another, but without further adue... "Fool For You" by Curtis Mayfield and The Impressions.

Saying Good-bye, Isn't That Hard....

2010-07-05T02:38:00.004-04:00

Independence Day... A day where most Americans celebrate the day that the Fathers of this nation signed the Declaration of Independence from the British Monarchy that still thought it had some sort of rule over season. which is total horseshit, but yeah, whatever... once a year, everyone is all about hot dogs, and fireworks, and red, white, and blue, and screw you too... anyways, I made that reference to basically blog about my life in current situations... Sometime earlier today, it hit me that I'm holding on to a lot of the past. There is nothing wrong with holding on to it, and wanting to have something to do with it, but when you allow it to imprison you in hopes that people will realize that you still are trying to stay in when they have already set you free... So amazing when that realization finally hits you that, your past doesn't want you anymore... When the people that use to matter has moved on, and didn't tell you that they did, its kinda frustrating... Cause you would think that all the times we laughed, cried, bled, and had a great time, that that would mean something... unfortunately, it doesn't... So, as recent as last weekend, yet another "friend" of mines got married... which takes the number up to probably around 30 friends of mine from my past back home, and here, have gotten married... and out of all those people, only 1 invite. Its OK though... it just goes to show that I need to free myself from the grip of the title "friends are forever." Not true in this case, cause, if they were, there would have been miles put on the car... whatever. Moving on right? So, with me making this declaration that, I'm not the type of person that is considered to be invite able from and by my past, I think its just good to let go. So, now, instead of hugs, strictly handshakes... no need to reminisce, cause its all just lost to the way-side... just another reason of why not to care, cause it doesn't matter to them... :shrugs: oh well... Guess I'll just store those good times in the very back of my brain, just to collect dust and be forgotten... So, with that said, I say this... because they moved on, I'm moving on... And I don't care about there lives, the whats-goins-ons, the future, or whatever. Imma do me now... and with or without them, so, I'm claiming my independence... All I'm going to South Carolina for, is to see family, and to watch my Gamecocks... :) Cool! No more Mr. Nice Guy!!

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-07-02T03:50:00.003-04:00

I have a rule that I strictly fallow, when it comes to me picking the "song of the week," and that rule is to always pick a song from something that I own... Meaning if I wanna play it, i must have it in my hands first... I broke that rule once, with a song that was just so powerful, that I had to share... And today, I am breaking that rule again. Today's song is a song that I heard last year when I went to my first South Carolina Gamecocks football game in late September. I went to see my team play the #4 team in the nation, Mississippi Rebels... And they came out victorious... and in a stadium that wasn't even near compasity, me and my friend enjoyed a great game, and we got down with everyone in there that was decked out in Garnet and Black to this weeks song of the week... I play it because its basically a pump-up song for us gamecocks, that has been used at Williams-Brice Stadium, The Colonial Life Arena, and more recently in Carolina Stadium, where the baseball team plays... It was even used when one of the nations top recruit announced where he was playing football in college, and seriously in a church, this song was being blared throughout the House of God... And to hear this song in the past 3 to 4 days, being that my Gamecocks became National Champions in baseball, it just adds to the happiness and add to the tears of joy. :) So this weeks song is called "Sandstorm" by Darude... Hes a Finnish DJ that is pretty well known in the techno world. Gamecocks of All ages have listened, and loved this song and have pissed off many an opponent with it... especially Clemson. HEHEheheh... Anyways, its a fun fast and awesome song, and I do hope you enjoy. This song is dedicated to the fans of the University of South Carolina, and to the coaches and players of the National Champion Baseball team. Thanks guys :)

Here's a health, Carolina....

2010-07-01T00:02:00.004-04:00

today is a day that me and millions around the world that calls themselves "gamecocks" will never forget. On Tuesday night, June 29, 2010, My... No, OUR South Carolina Gamecocks became, for the very first time, in a major sport, National Champions!!! It wasn't in basketball or football, it was in baseball, and it feels good. You can ask any gamecock fan, from the age of 2 to 100, this is what we've all have bee waiting for... we were waiting for the day to call ourselves champions of the nation. Last night, when I watched the game, I missed the game winner... but when I turned it back, I see the team in white and garnet celebrating... and honestly, it took me a minute to gather the fact that the team that I have been patiently, and passionately waiting on for 27 years of my life... I know of many people who have been waiting LONGER than that... a lot longer... but we ALL have waited to actually call ourselves National Champions. For the first time in the 209 year existence of the University of South Carolina, we can say what hundreds of other schools, with thousands of different champions in the major sports can all say, We, too, are national champions! After the game, I went out and celebrated, just like a bunch of other gamecocks around everywhere, and on the way to the bar, I seriously was misty-eyed, and I didn't know what to do... How is a champion suppose to react?! I honestly don't know, and still don't know... I just know that I enjoyed the night. I didn't have anyone to celebrate with, but I seriously had a blast. After the night, I got back online, and I was looking at the forum site that I'm a member of, and to read the happiness from everyone on there was enough to choke a horse... I seriously cried tears of joy for the first time in a long time.

Its evident that, in the south, primarily, fans are loyal, and passionate about there college and high school teams... Reason why, because, that's all we have! We have just those schools that are our juggernauts. These are the institutes of whom sports means so much to us. And some schools have all the luck... Some done, and not saying that we were ever unlucky or cursed, it was just evident that winning was always few and far between for my Gamecocks. We've had the big wins against Southern Cal, Notre Dame, Florida, Clemson, and a number of other schools in our history as a football program; We also had the number 1 ranking in basketball back in the day! South Carolina Basketball was top notch in those days... we were so good, that Michael Jordan was almost a Gamecock. But he went to be a Tar heel, and now he is THE GREATEST. We have always been right there in sports, but for the first time in the history, to be named National Champions in a men's major sport is mind-blowing! Maybe this is what we needed as fans...

For those who doubted, and played on the line of "woe-is-us" and the for the naysayers who didn't want to see this day, due to the heart breaking days of the past, They can finally shut up and just be happy like I am. I know its not a title in football, or basketball, but its a title nonetheless... it doesn't make it any less important... Its just as magical... Those young men have fought tooth and nail to hold on to that title, and to be called champions... And who knows... it might spark something into the rest of our teams, and we will have more than one champion in more than one sport. I always knew that this day would come... I always knew that we would finally be able to call ourselves THE BEST on the fields, courts, and pitch... And on Tuesday, that came true. :) We have the best fans in the world... we will always come back even after a loss, and we will always encourage our boys to do there best, even if it doesn't appear as if they did so. Us fans, embody the spirit of the Gamecock just like those kids who wear those pads, and jerseys. We have waited just as long, and fought just as hard as they did to be in the moment to be victorious! This is a great day for us who considers ourselves to be loyal, passionate, die hard, and patient... We can smile and cry, and just have an excuse to be more passionate for our Gamecocks... A great day for sure... One thing I hope will never happen to us... I hope we do not get big-headed, and egotistical as some of these other schools who have all these titles do... I hope we all stay loyal, stay patient, stay humble, and most importantly, stay hungry for the next one... its not once every 4 years we have a national champion, but we have once in a four-year time to put together magic. and hopefully, not only in baseball, but in basketball, football, soccer, golf, or whatever sport, we can do it again... I hope Pandora's Box was opened... cause its a great time to be a Gamecock fan. :) So to our Yardcocks: Forever to Thee. Thanks again for bringing a smile and a sigh of relief to all of us who calls ourselves Gamecocks. :)

Big Mouths and Fatter Lips

2010-06-26T03:00:00.006-04:00

Tonight, I heard something kinda disturbing... 2 British assholes tonight were going on about how "fickle" American are about soccer... I seriously find the out right disrespect for the people you CHOSE to live around, a good reason to beat some ass... Why in the world would you come to a country and start talking shit about the people, and there fandom of whatever sport they may or may not like? When did the right to be an asshole become something that we were forced to accept? Not really sure, but I can tell you that, sometimes, peoples mouths need to be shut for them... Some of these Brit kids come over thinking that the world owes them something, because mommy and daddy paid for everything... if they actually allowed them to work for once, they would actually not be such assholes... some British white collar is going to say the wrong thing to an American blue collar, and find his white collar turning red... and its not only them, it could be anyone, i.e. Indian, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Icelandic, whatever, from where ever... it seriously is a problem that needs to be addressed, and dealt with... Thanks to the mass media, and the bullshit that they are so ready to display to the world, and make us look like we don't care about anything... not to mention, we don't care about the oil spill, which I can say honestly, that its both not true... Americans, do care about soccer... and I don't think that anyone is "fickle" about it... Ill be honest... its not a sport that i fallow closely, but I do enjoy a good match every now and then... luckily, for the world, we get to see it once every 4 years to draw some sort of interest to those of us who are "fickle" according to these 2 Anglo-Indian fucks... But what to do they know? Like my friend Laura said... "If I chose to live around people from a different country, and culture, no matter how I feel about them, I would NEVER talk shit about them, because, I chose to live with them. No matter my feelings about the people and the culture, I'm not going to say anything negative about them." Its amazing how people assume one thing about a group of people, and although it may be right, or not, you never come to someones country and talk shit... You will never see me going over to Holland, and telling the people in Amsterdam that Marijuana is wrong... Although I don't believe in it, I'm not going to go over there, and start a radical movement to close all the coffee houses, and the red light district... I can just keep my mouth shut, and I just wont go to those areas. Its as simple as not having a big head, and thinking that you're so much better than the next man from the strange land... So, if I could give a warning to anyone who plans on being a loser and not an educator about your own culture, and ways... SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP!!!!!

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-06-25T03:12:00.003-04:00

This weeks song is simply a favorite of mines that I cant get enough of. I discovered Florence + The Machine while listening to the radio one day while opening up the store. I heard the remix version of the song, which is amazing and awesome, but when I discovered the original, OH MY GOD!!! My mind was blown, and I fell in love with the sound coming from this 7 piece masterpiece. And to hear the voice of this woman, wow! lol And not to mention she is the tallest, leggiest, red-head Ive ever seen. lol but its all good. This weeks song comes from her debut album entitled "Lungs." Its the last song on the album, but its a powerful one... Its called "You Got The Love." And its basically a prayer and praise song. Its a song that you listen to, when you know that life sucks, but you know that eventually, it will all be alright. :) Its a song that is one of those that you will always love, and you will always listen to, and smile. :) Although I'm showing you just a video of the song, I urge you to find concert footage of the song. WOW!!! So with no further interruptions, Enjoy "You Got The Love."

Is Love As Scary As We Make It Out To Be?

2010-06-21T09:46:00.004-04:00

Me and Love have a respectable misunderstanding of each other... Love is the one thing that doesn't make since to the rest of the world... Before I continue, I will have to apologize, cause I have been thinking deeply lately, and so, this may be deeper than I would like, but oh well... here we go. Love is definitely something that keeps this world turning, but it seems that all that love is going into stuff and things, and not being aimed at the things that matter--people! We all love our animals, we all love our bands, we all love what matters to us... but do we love the people around us? I'm not saying that the stinky guy in the corner is the guy you need to start hugging on, but lately, love has been a hard commodity to come by. When we say "I love you" to our friends, or significant others, do we mean it? Has love turned into an empty emotion? When did love require fear? Why does it take so long to be willing to allow those words to cut through teeth and lip to mean something? Its rare to find anyone who can say it, and mean it as well. But we have made love into a weight when its suppose to be a light... Love is suppose to be unconditional, but we put conditions on it to only when it makes us feel good... My family I love but some of them don't make me feel good... but if they were all to make life easy, then we live in a utopia... If that's the case, then I am in hell. lol Love isn't easy, and with wanting, and never needing. We all need love... from the people that matter, and the people that should matter... Unfortunately we love to "like." And when we just like things, we start to steer away from love. If we loved more, the world would be better all around... But when will love finally take over and be as big as we make it? When will we realize that this monster that we have created, is just as gentle and exciting as anything that comforts us. So, Be wise about it, but remain care free when displaying love, in all mediums... and remember, Love, will always be there... don't ignore it, but don't try so damn hard to find it either. :) Its there... just be patient...

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-06-17T22:23:00.003-04:00

This week song comes from a band that Ive known about for a while, and i finally saw yesterday for the first time... GREAT LIVE SHOW!!! And those intimate performances are great... you get to be as close as you wanna be to the band, and I got to see and fall in love with, and get to know a few of those cats that played in the band from this weeks song, and the opening act... it was a great night for sure. The name of the band is (no lie) Grand Prize Winner From Last Year. They are amazing! No drums, but machines galore! They have a guitarist, a bassist who is also a trumpetier, and a trumbonist, who is a huge part of the band playing keys, and being awesome... I fell in love with these guys, and especially when Believe, guitarist and vocalist for the band, before the show, said that he was going to "dedicate a song" for me. And as promised, he did, and it was a good one... however, The song that they picked isnt the song that Im using... the song Im using from them is called "Whatever." Its a song that has it all... its really shows the depth of this band, and why "Rolling Stones Magazine" considered them "The Band To Watch for 2010." So I hope you do enjoy and love this song as much as I do. :) So, here you go... I hope you enjoy The Grand Prize Winners From Last Year, and my favorite song of the week, "Whatever." :) This is from a live performance from 2009, but its awesome all the same. Enjoy.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-06-10T18:11:00.003-04:00

Im kinda upset with myself cause as much as I love this artist, I havent used any of his songs as the song of the week... But thank God that there are 51 weeks, and its not too late to display a great artist... Saul Williams is just a great artist all around... Hes known for his poetry, he does a little acting as well, and his music career is just an extention of all of his talents... So, this weeks song of the week comes from his latest album "The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust." I'm stuck inbetween which one I want, but the one I listened to the most this week, is probably the song entitled "WTF!" The entire album was produced by Trent Reznor, and this is the only one that has any real NIN sound to it... but its a great song talking about why things are going from here to there with no real reason... you know, the things that makes us say "what the fuck." Its a slow ballad type, but its complimented with strong lyrics, and a beautiful piano part. Just what the doctor ordered. lol So, I do hope you enjoy. :)

The Dead and Ancient Art of Sportsmanship

2010-06-04T15:53:00.004-04:00

Either you are blind and dear, stupid, or just oblivious to one of the biggest news in the sports week this week. The Detroit Tigers were just 1 out away from having there very first perfect game, and Armondo Galarraga was on fire. pitching only 75 pitches, his arm was still fresh and the world had there eyes fixed on history. The wind-up, the pitch, ground hit to shallow right... the first baseman gathers it, Galarraga goes to the bag, the throw, AND?!?! The runners safe?? WHAT?! Are you serious right now?! He had his foot on the bag before the runner!!! He beat him out!? WHAT THE HELL UMP!? That was the sentiment of every baseball fan in all of the world... but what was more amazing is Galaraggas' reaction... he went from focus, to excitement, to happy, to disbelief and back to normal... while all the world knew what just happened, he took it with a grain of salt. He smiled in disbelief, and went back to finish out the game... He didn't argue or get mad or wanted to get even, he held himself like a gentleman... And after the game, the umpire Jim Joyce realized his mistake, and admitted that he "cost that kid a perfect game." Also saying that he was "convinced that he was safe." He was very hurt about it, because he, like anyone who takes there job seriously and passionately, it hurts... This wasn't an easy pill to swallow for either Armando Galarraga, or Jim Joyce... But what sticks out about this story is that it doesn't end there... The game goes on. So the next day, because the world of Detroit, Michigan felt bad for Mr. Galarraga, a local GM car dealer gave him a Corvette, and they celebrated him... After the dog and pony show for Armando, the umpires came out, and on this day, Jim Joyce was to watch the plate... And in a show of class, those Detroit fans who RESPECT the game, gave him an ovation, and and another show of class, Galaragga, went out to give the line-up sheet to Jim Joyce who was already emotional... And the game went on, and Detroit ended up winning the game 12-5... Wow... What an emotional week for baseball huh? You have Memorial Day, which is an emotional day to begin with, and to see history almost come upon the sport, to where there would have been 3 perfect games in a span of a month... But, that game is being called the "Imperfect Game." call it what you want, it was a great game to witness... regardless of your emotions, or your affiliate to whichever team. This is a touching moment in the history of the game, when a young man, can just allow the game to be just that... a game. Like in any game, there will be mistakes, and that's what Galaragga realized and mentioned... hes human... the game is not perfect, and that what makes Baseball the last pure sport of our history... because, mistakes will always be made... But the jesters of both the Cleavland Indians and the Detroit Tigers, during, and after the game, The class and sportsmanship displayed by both Galaragga, and Joyce, even after mistakes were made, is huge... it shows that there is still people who plays the game for what the game is... fun! Basketball, you wont find class, because everyone is out for themselves, and its all about the superstar... Hockey, the classiest thing they have going is after every series, regardless of who wins or looses, regardless of who did whom wrong during the series, regardless of who won the fight, they shake hands in a line... and all is well. Football, is classy in the since that players help each other often... after plays, picking up the opponent, a display of respect is always shaking hands, or praying at the 50... Soccer, the show of respect and class, is exchanging the jerseys off your back... So, sportsmanship here in this day and age is a rare jewel to find... and it lies in the fans... The us of us, who refuses to let anything go or go by... we like to hold on to the pain that the athlete is trying to numb by just going on... We want the pain to endure in those that made mistakes... even for those of us who aren't sports fan loves to beat down those who makes mistakes as well... but we love to forget about our own fuck-ups... we just love to allow ourselves to put on blinders when we are looking in the mirror, and not realize that we too fuck up, more than some of these athletes and officials... its ok though... the day will come when Sportsmanship will be displayed all the time. On and off the field, in and out of the stands... So always think about what you are going to do or say, when you're wronged, cause who knows... the world could be yours. HUMILITY GOES A LONG WAY PEOPLE!!! Keep your eye on these 2 gentlemen... Just see how there seasons end up by resurrecting the dead and ancient art of sportsmanship. Good night.

Son Of The Week

2010-06-03T13:33:00.003-04:00

This weeks song comes from a band Winston and I discovered on Sunday... Its a band non of us has heard of, but discovered a sound that we liked... The best way to discribe this band would be, if you take "Against Me," place in a little bit of "soulful and meaningful rock, with a nice dash of punk, and put a strong raspy voice behind it, and there you go. :)They have a pretty strong presents in sound, and they definately have a great sound something to ride, run, jog, or flip to--whatever you decide. The name of this band is "Gallows." They are from England and was formed in 2005. In there native land, they have made waves in the punk scene. There debut album (Orchestra of Wolves) is distributed here in the states, and its definately becoming a band to enjoy for me. hope you like from there debut. the title track, Orchestra of Wolves. Enjoy

Whos really dead? The guy in the box, or YOU!?

2010-05-28T16:11:00.003-04:00

I find no humor in the disrespect for the dead. I dont care who that person is that died, I dont think it is right, or even repectful to joke about someone who just died, regardless of fame, or collaspe... If my father died, I wouldnt go out celebrating the fact that he died, and start making jokes, cause you know what? Who knows how many lives hes touched... who am I to display disrespect for those suffering, or even have passed on... When Michael Jackson died, everyone had a joke... it kinda scares me to die, cause who knows what type of shit people will say about me... I agree and believe that we all have our own ways of grieving, but making light of life, shows me 2 things: 1, you dont care about anyone, and 2, you, for damn sure, dont care about yourselves... SO, if I had anything to say about the dying, it would be to respect there life... Example: A couple weeks back, me and a few friends were, in the middle of a conversation about women and facial hair, and I made the joke saying, "you know who sports a mean goat-tee?" And I said the name, to where my friend told me that this person was in critical condition... So, when learning that life is near the end, I stopped laughing, immediately apologized, and in respect to this person, I do hope that she finds peace real soon... I know everyone isnt like me, and I know that I cant change the world, but I can suggest that people just be respectful for the dying... if it was your mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, wife, husband, or loved one... you would be pissed to no end, when someone decided to make a joke about them, you would be out for blood... so what makes it right to make fun of said celebrity or fallen star? Its more sad that they died, than it is, that they are going crazy... I dont know why the dead is such an easy target for screutany and disrespect, but I dont repect those who disrespect the lives lost... If someone had a joke about my Grandma Ruby Harris, or my Cousin Chris Johnson, I shit you none, I will fuck you up.... Thats my family... those are 2 very impactful lives that has touched me, and helped me be the man that I am today... So, I take death, just as seriously as i take life... Cause life, is valuable, and death is the reminder of how valuable life is... So, anyone who jokes about it is just shitty at living, not happy about there lives, and should do themselves, and the world a favor and kill themselves... thats just my opinion... I dont find it fun at all to pick on the dead... remenising is cool, but just being cruel and full of shit, shows that you have a problem with your life... either kill off, or get help... but for the love of all that is sane... RESPECT THE FUCKING DEAD!!!!

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-05-27T20:31:00.002-04:00

So, this weeks song wasn't hard to pick, only because I was trying to use it last week, but couldn't find a suitable video to play the whole song... until today... I wanted to post 3 songs last week, but no luck, but now, I have found the song I wanted to use, and its this weeks song of the week... This is the second song coming from the beautiful, talented, and mind-bending Janelle Monae. If you are just out of the loop, you have missed seeing her on TV, with performances on Dave Letterman, recently, Ellen, and tonight on George Lopez, so if you haven't seen her, PLEASE check it out. :) But this song is honestly one that just got me in a good space when I heard it for the first time... When I first heard this song, it made me think of my youth, when I would sing on the St. Martin de Porres School Gospel Choir... Just the whole sound of gospel from this song just brought me back. And watching it performed live just opened my eyes to how fucking amazing this woman is, and also how passionate that she is about making the sound touch the soul. :) This weeks song is called "Mushrooms and Roses." Its not what you think you cow shit eating motherfuckers... In the story, "Mushrooms and Roses" is a speak easy where human and androids can be in love and above the law... something like brothel kinda (i could be wrong, but when the lyrics go "...where all the lonely droid and lovers have there wildest dreams..." it could be honestly, anything!). Its just a hide out to where anything, can just relax and be whatever they wanna be in Metropolis... And with such an heavy gospel influence in this song, you will see why its a favorite of mines... And if you get a chance to see her life, and she plays this song, I dare you not to have your jaw drop. :) Enjoy guys.

songS of the week...

2010-05-20T03:59:00.002-04:00

I seriously cant contain myself this week... I have bathed and buried myself in wonderful and amazing new music... And this week, I already made up my mind of what will be the single of the week, but who am I to keep wounds to myself right? So, this week, I am going to share 2 different songs from 2 different artists with you... I am going to start off with the original song of the week for this week... The Black Keys released a new album in the many they have called "Brothers." This album is SERIOUSLY full of soul, and southern blues that its not even funny... And I serisouly have a hard time turning this album off. I think I have dropped a single from this band before, but, Im not sure... All I know is that, as my friend calls it, Track 14, is one of the greatest songs out there... Track 14 is known as "Never Gonna Give You Up." It is purely a song of unconditional love from a man who knows what hes about to loose... it is seriously one of the most heart-felt songs I have ever heard... I hope you enjoy it. :)

The second and last song of the week, was also a song that I wanted to use, but it wasnt one that I could have found a way to use in the future... so, for the second song, it comes from the release of The Dead Weathers' sophmore project entitled "Sea Of Cowards." This album is a GREAT fallow-up to there 2009 debut "Horehound." If you know anything about this band, Jack White found this band ON STAGE in the last day of The Raconteurs last day of there American leg of there tour, So, the fallowing year, they came to Atlanta, and gave a "band birthday show." and it was amazing... I know a lot of people who is into that band, and in pure Jack White form, they came out in a suprise... The single I have picked with this album is the very first single from the album, called "Blue Blood Blues." Why this song? because of the way Jack White rides the drum to this song, and how this song rides on the beat of his drums... But really sets this song apart from its debut single "Die by the Drop," Is the fact that is carries BEAUTIFUL vocal harmonies throughout... "Die by the Drop" Is a HEAVY song and probably Jack White at his purest kid form... But the song i chose is one to bop your head to, and to ride fast down the highway too :) So, I give you "Blue Blood Blues," By The Dead Weather. Enjoy! :)

I lust you! :The day love died and burned to ashes

2010-05-18T23:12:00.003-04:00

Love is as fickle and brittle as cheaply made, tasteless communion crackers... And it seems as if, now a days, it doesn't matter at all to have love... Its as if love is a dirty word, and lust is the thing that is accepted... This animalistic ideology of, getting what you want just because, leaves us dead... no one wants to believe in love or wanna give it a chance, cause after the 2 times they get hurt, its dead to them. So is life, and self-esteem... So, whenever we get hurt, we like to take it out on whomever willing to be the slut for the time, be it man for woman, woman for man, man for man, or woman for woman... We would like to hurt others the way we were hurt, regardless of the asshole that has hurt us with lies that started with "I love you." Its a sad, fucked up game, that everyone plays, and the nice guys and girls get fucked over cause, these blood-thirsty, lust wanting fuck wads are on the prowl, and unforgiving... Love is becoming lost in history. Love is becoming an idea that only exist with our dying generations. Love is no longer a staple in music... Yeah, EVERYBODY is a Beatles fan, but no one wants to hear what they have to say... No one wants to believe or just need love anymore... its just that love is apparently useless... If its not useless, its for DAMN sure, hard to find... oh well... moving on...

I realized something tonight!

2010-05-15T01:04:00.004-04:00

I witnessed the most beautiful funeral/home going service in the world. For those of you who don't know, I lost my cousin Chris Johnson, to cancer Tuesday May 4th, 2010. Chris was the nicest person in my world... His heart was huge, and his nature was soft, but if you crossed Chris, he would make sure that you wouldn't do it again, and he ALWAYS did it in the most professional, and nicest manner ever... And his service today, was amazing... I was it be done in 2 different languages at the same time-- English and Sign. And it was moving to both parties... I cried when his boss talked, when his brother (cousin Papa) talked, and when his widow (Cousin Andrea) talked... some of the people who gave there testimonials about Chris' love and character, was done by the lives he touched in the deaf community. It was very powerful... The whole service was held at his Alma Mater of A.C. Flora High School located in Columbia, South Carolina, my hometown... And it was a moving ceremony... Like I mentioned, I did cry when Chris' widow gave her last respects... In that speech, all done in sign language, cause she was deaf too, she said that she loved him, and will miss him... but the most touching part of it, was when she said that she "didn't even had a chance to say good-bye." And if you know Chris and Andrea, they were inseparable, just like Chris and Papa... brothers, who may have had quarrels, but always loved each other... One thing that the family did was treat Chris as if he was normal, as if he didn't have a handicap at all.... You wouldn't have known that he was deaf at all... he spoke perfectly, and had the most infectious smile in the world... Even til his last day on earth, he was all teeth. :) And he will be missed by a HOST of people... Chris was so amazing, that just last month, he was inducted into the SEAAD Hall of Fame (Southeastern Athletic Association for the Deaf)... He was a HELL of a basketball player... could've put a lot of players of his day to shame with ease... He was actually one hell of an athlete... Another story told today, was that in high school, he was the first deaf kid to sign up for football in A.C. Floras' history... And during one of the practices, the coach had to call practice early, cause Chris purposefully injured 4 starters... lol. Coach asked, "why" and Chris said "so I could have a chance to play." lol That was the warrior and fighter that Chris was... he wanted to be the best, and he also wanted to prove it, and he ALWAYS did it humbly... He fought cancer for 8 years, and during that time, he worked, and he worked hard... he failed to allow anything to get in his way... He had a heart of a lion, but the spirit of a lamb... When someone told Chris to take it easy, he did it even harder... 110+% ALL THE TIME... That's who he was, that's how he will be remembered... A hard worker, a loving soul, and a great man of God... He will be missed, but that's not his legacy... His legacy lies in my family... not just the people that i know, but the people that has been touched by Chris' love for them... As you also may be aware of, my Grandmother, Ruby Harris, died in November of last year... and the lives she touched was vast!! Same with Chris... the amount of lives he touched was vast! All over the U.S., there isn't a person who came across Chris, that didn't leave loving him. He was just that type of guy. :) So, with all that said, it dawned on me tonight as I was doing 90mph on the way home from SC to GA... my family is HUGE!!!! Cause, in my families, if you are a friend, you are family. I say that knowing the love that I have for both sides of my family... My grandma Carrie invited my friend Matt to her wedding, and she just met him... :) I come from a great lineage of people who is kind-hearted, strong-willed, stubborn, and generous with love, material, and heart. :) I am truly blessed to have the people in my life that is my family. Some are super honest, some just wont shut up, some are mean spirited, some are jokesters, some are comedians, but they all have the same thing that has been instilled in me... love for those who are NOT familiar in blood and law. I can smile again. :) Good night.

if you wanna read his obituary, just click the link here: http://www.palmermemorialchapel.com/obituaries.php?id=129

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-05-13T12:58:00.002-04:00

So with a lot of new music coming out for the next week or so, this is truly exciting times for the music fan... The Dead Weather dropped there second studio record, The Black Keys, and Janelle Monae are both about to drop albums next week, and yet, I picked up a true gem of an album on Tuesday past, looking for a particular album from the late great James Brown... V.V. Brown is one of the latest great women singers out of England... If you know me, you know that I have fallen in love with the beautiful Florence Welch, the lead singer of "Florence + The Machine," and the rich sound that she has. Another lady that I have a thing for is "Noisettes" leading lady and bassist, Shingai Shoniwa. She is SO hot, and very entertaining to watch on stage, and a voice that is jaw dropping... V.V. Brown is another product from England that is making noise in America, and is blowing holes through Britain... With a poppy doo-wap that catches you when you least expected. Her voice is forceful, yet subtle, and is the reason that I picked her song "Shark In The Water" as the song of the week. Its beautifully sung, arranged, and harmonized... so, from her album "Traveling Like The Light," I give you "Shark In The Water." Enjoy :)

The Importance Of The Small Things That Matter Eventually

2010-05-11T06:06:00.003-04:00

Have you ever just shut up and think about the people you needed to apologize to? Is there someone that you know you've wronged, and have to say "I'm sorry" to? Or is your pride so over grown to where you cant admit your wrong? Well, if thats so, then there needs to be a way to where youre brought back to earth... Pride is the number one killer of peoples' innocents and joy... Pride is, more or less, a time bomb, cause like it says in the bible "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall (Proverbs 16:18)." Basically it states, that if you have pride, and are all about you, then the world you know will be destroyed by you and you alone... Forgiveness of self, and of others goes a LOOOOONG way... even if you dont believe, just saying "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?" will make the world go right. Perfect example... I watched a story on this one athlete who had the world in his hand, and one night had an accident that claimed the life of 2 men, and serverely injured another... the 2 men whos life was taken away, were hit so hard by the car, that this athlete was driving, that there clothes literally were knocked off of them... Long-short, in dallas, Texas, there was an accident on the highway, to where 3 different young men tried to help the person trapped in the car, to when another car came by and hit the 3 men and sped off... he only kept going out of fear... sadly 2 of the 3 lost there lives, and now you know the story... So, after admitting his wrong, and turning himself in, he went to trial, and during the trial, the one survivor, with limited mobility, and probably still in a bit of pain, walked up in front of the court room, extended his hand to the young man, who hit him, and he said to him "I forgive you." To where the young man collapsed into his arms and cried... He was sentence to 15 years, but may get out as early as this summer cause of good behavior... I tell you that to say this... I bet you anything that he probably wouldnt have made it through his time in jail if no one forgave him for what he did... the 2 mothers of the young men who died wont forgive him... and there unhappiness will pass onto there kids and grand kids alike... Unforgiveness will kill those women... im pretty sure of it... So we have to find a way to just say, I am sorry... if we dont, then we are as good as dead... Stress is a motherfucker!!! Have a good one.

You Can't Blame Them

2010-05-10T23:54:00.004-04:00

A friend of mines, said it best about the professional teams in Atlanta: "A.T.L. Atlanta Teams Loose!" And you know what? Tonight just proved that. I went to my first Hawks game in about 11 years, and they lost big time in the playoffs... The last time that any team down here ever won a major sport was in 1996 when The Braves shocked the world, and The Cleveland Indians, to win the World Series... and since, The hawks made it to the playoffs 4 times, and the Falcons has been to the Superbowl only once, And The Thrashers record in the playoffs to date, 0-4... and year, after year, after year, the so-called "fans" of these teams, don't even show up until they are actually doing "good." Honestly, I can understand why some of these players don't wanna play here... I can understand why they ask for so much money to play here... Cause why would they wanna play in a town where the fans only come when they are successful? I can definitely understand that... You know, the prices on beer and food wouldn't be as expensive is people actually showed up to the games? and I'm not talking about the playoffs either... If people just showed up to a regular season game, that wasn't fans of there "hometown team," and actually showed some support, for there one of these 4 franchises, they probably would win some games and some championships... But its the Atlanta way, to try to get anyone interested in one of the major sports is like trying to send a retarded 2 year old kid, across the street in rush hour traffic... it is shocking, sad, funny, and mildly offensive... The true fans are the ones that show up and STAY during the game if the score is 70-0 in the favor of the away team... The true fans are those who take all the bullshit from the other fans, and still come back when the same teams play and take the same shit from the same asshole who is all balls deep about how there team is better than our Braves, Hawks, Thrashers, or Falcons... The true fans are there season after season play after play, heart attack after heart attack cheering for there teams, and all we can wish for is that in this fair-weathered shitty city...I'm not from here, and I LOVE me some Thrashers... I'm trying to reconnect with The Braves, and I hate basketball, but I wanna support the Hawks more, and The Falcons are almost there... I hope to support them more as well, however I am still a Panthers fan. :) But these teams has the talent, they have the coaching staffs, and the facilities... whats LACKING is the FANS! The city could be a great sports town, but with no "real fans" its just a town housing sports franchises... So, I can understand why Ilya Kovalchuk would wanna play somewhere else... I can see why Josh Childress would wanna play in Greece... I understand why no one wants to play here... cause the town, as a whole, is a fair-weathered sports city. And all the community service projects, all the autographs, all the give aways cant fulfill the athlete like asses in the seats. This basketball season saw a lot of it, but no one wanted to stay for the whole game... If you did, and showed that you cared to stay til the end, maybe the ideology of "Atlanta Teams Loose" Could just be "THE ATL: The city of winners!" And this is coming from a Carolina Boy too! I want to see these teams win the championships! And I wanna be there when it happens... I wanna be there when the fans are there... I wanna be able to ask if I could move to the end of the row, so I can have some leg room... One can only wish and hope... so lets hope that Atlanta gets there shit together as sports town. Am I wrong to think that? Just a thought... goodnight world.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-05-07T03:59:00.003-04:00

This week IM going classic... this is one of my favorite songs ever. Why is it a fave? Cause thats what I am... Im always in the clutch... I come in to clean up the mess, and save the souls from complete destruction... When I heard this song, I knew that this was going to be the song of the week, in probably one of the most shittiest weeks for me personally... Cause, this song begs the question: "Do heroes get tired?" Do they work hard just to get rest? Do heroes deserve rest? When does the line of hero and villian gets crossed? Cause it does get a little old being "Mr. Right On Time." Its all good though... This song talks about just that one day where we can just be bigger than ourselves... Even if for one day... cause who knows whos life you will save with just a hello, a hug, or even a smile. So, sing "Heroes," one of my favorite songs, David Bowie. Enjoy.

Song Of The Week

2010-04-29T17:17:00.002-04:00

This weeks song, wasn't that hard to choose... When your week is bad, when you hate everyone, and you see no reason to continue to just be available... Sometimes, as cowardly as it is, its just easier to just wanna say good-bye to the world... Its honestly sometimes easier for the world if they didn't depend on the good-hearted, easy-going, warm, loving, servant types... But even we get tired of it... This weeks song is from Felix Da Housecat, a house DJ that has been making waves in the industry for a long time now... He's made a name for himself, and the album which this song comes from (He Was King), has all the reasons to dance all night long. The name of the song is "Do Not Try This At Home." And it talks about the life of the lonely... Its never easy being lonely, cause it may feel as if someone is always laughing at you behind your back, after smiling in your face... So, if there is ever a great song that is a glimpse into the world of the socially suffering, this is it. Enjoy.

Wanna Know How I Know You're Gay?

2010-04-29T13:18:00.002-04:00

I absolutely hate pop culture, and now, I'm starting to hate the un P.C., P.C. version of being offensive. For instance the word "wigger." Whoever came up with that phrase, FUCK YOU. Its STUPID, it doesn't solve the fact that you can finally say "nigger," and it just makes you sound, and look stupid saying a word, that ISN'T EVEN A WORD!!!! Another example, and the subject of this rant, this whole new "movement," in keeping your sexuality at bay, when you say something to describe someone of the same sex, called "No Homo." What in the living fuck is that suppose to mean?! So, if I was to say to another male on a whim, "Hey man, you have really pretty eyes," I'm now to let him, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, myself know that I'm not gay by saying "no homo?" Ho. LY. SHIT!!!! That's INFURIATING!!!! I want someone to find me that lame ass frat boy reject, so I can beat the shit out of him... I bet you anything, he tries to peacock himself, just like those Jersey Shore guidos who gets all dressy for the ladies, with his hair up, collar up, and shirt at its tightest, skin as orange as a safety cone, and smelling like the inside of a Macy's, And looking proudly at yourself in the mirror at how your rise in douchiness, went out to see your friends who's been waiting for you for the past 3 weeks to get out of the bathroom, and they started to make fun of you. Then then entire night, they are talking about you to everyone else in the bar or club, or whatever... And you try to escape, and you happen to get a glimpse of a guy who dressed JUST LIKE YOU, and in passing, said something stupid, like: "Hey, lookin good brah!," and while he's looking at you, ready to kick your ass, your brain starts thinking of a way to puss out of your whoppin, you say the one thing that falls out of your mouth... not even formed in your brain, and it happens to be "NO HOMO!" And now, its an national sensation... FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF, GO FORTH AND ROT!!! This is seriously disturbing. when did having to defend your sexuality, in the year 2010, became something of pop culture and importance? If you cant compliment a guy on something of his without feeling gay, then, I'm sorry to brake it to you, you're gay! :shrugs: Sorry to say, but if you have to constantly remind yourself, and whomever that you're not gay, then you should kill yourself. Seriously... do the world a favor and die, cause you are not a man. If I wanna comment to a guy and say: "you look good!" or "you got pretty eyes" or "lookin handsome/good today," I can, if I want. I'm not making sure that I'm still a man by saying 2 words together that makes no since, and actually sounds retarded. I am confident in my sexuality to where I don't have to check it. I find women to be the sexiest creation in God's archive of awesome... But if she wants to check me, when I say to another guy "lookin good," and she walks away... shes not a woman... shes a girl on her period... A real woman knows what a man means, what her man means... no need for the self check with a "no homo." America is becoming more stupid, and there isn't an apology to be made for it... its sickening. This has got to stop, and someone has to put the stupidity in check. Be a man! Make a comment! Don't feel as if you have to check your sexuality you homo! Fuck! I'm done.

P.S. Wanna know something even more fucked up about this phrase? HIP HOP CULTURE MADE IT!!! Black people has gone APE SHIT since the election... THESE ARE THE DOWNFALLS OF A BLACK LEADER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!! Stupidity comin from the streets!! What in the fuck!?

Dear Costomers...

2010-04-27T02:16:00.002-04:00

I realize that water is important for everyone, but it SERIOUSLY bothers me SO MUCH when you order water, and dont even touch it... If you are going to be the slime bag to ask me for water, and not drink it, I think you should just find a way to choke and drown in that glass of water... I dont know if you realize this or not, but it is SERIOUSLY a pain in the ASS for me, or any other server to go and grab you a water, and you dont drink it... If you order a drink, and a water, and you drink your drink and you dont touch your water, and then later in the week complain about the water shortage due to whatever drought, it is ALL YOUR FAULT!!!! You suck ass and I think that you should all go off and die. You really piss me off, and I hope that all your knowledge gets you killed... its amazing how pissy yall can get, and think that you are something, cause you know the answer to a trivia question... Knowing the answer to a trivia question is just like being the smartest newborn who can cry the softest... fuck you, and your trivial knowledge, and FUCK YO WATER TOO!!!! Choke on air and die you fucks...

Sincerely,

Jolly Green

Would You Run Down Pass The Fence?

2010-04-24T04:26:00.005-04:00

Imagination is such a powerful tool to have. Without it, there wouldn't be a reason to dream, and without dreams, there wouldn't be something to live for... There wouldn't be stories to tell, or even a reason to love. Cause without imagination, you just stick yourself into a personal prison, where you do the everyday, mundane, pointless, just-trying-to-get-by bullshit... And when that happens, life becomes stale, and worthless to live. But with imagination, you can sore beyond the universe, and create your own. You can allow whatever to happen in whatever world you're trying to portray... And it doesn't matter the age, as long as you're willing to let whats in your head, come out in a creative form, its beautiful and needs no apology. That's why I love the imagination of kids... they allow themselves to see the world in an awe-inspiring, and beautiful way. Have you ever seen a 3 year old at the circus? If not, just look at them, they just sit there wide eyed and taking in whats SO BIG to them... The world is astounding, and I believe that if we actually took the time to allow our eyes to get wide at the world, we would be astounded by what we see. The world around is beautiful. Its full of beautiful people, beautiful colors, and just amazing to behold... And through that beauty, we can make our own story... We can come up with our own way to tell our life story, through whatever medium of art, music, or literature. If we use our minds, to dream, no one knows what you can create... Who knows, it could touch a life or a few. So, continue to create, continue to allow yourself to be bigger than this world... see whats on the other side of the mountain... see whats around the corner without getting up and looking... just use your mind to know whats around the corner... could be a monster, could be a portal to a quiet getaway... Hell, it could be the end of the world, or the end of the Keywork. :) God bless, I'm going to sleep now.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-04-23T03:32:00.003-04:00

So yeah, this weeks song was hard to come by, only because, there are many a great song I heard this week, that I could have picked... But this weeks song comes from one of my favorite rappers. He's from LA, and he is a truth teller. He drops knowledge and not bullshit... he is definately worth the time... it comes from his 2005, major label debut (and his only major lable LP) entitled: "Murs For President" Murs, just comes correct, and he does so definately in his single "The Science." He basically takes the rise and fall and the bullshit that is low life people, and breaks it down scientifically, and gives his view of how it could all be better... So, this song is full of knowledge. So, I do hope you enjoy.

SONG OF THE WEEK

2010-04-15T15:02:00.004-04:00

This weeks song of the week comes from one of my all time favorite bands, Coheed & Cambria. They just recently dropped there 5th studio album entitled "Year Of The Black Rainbow" on Tuesday, and its a amazing album full of emotion, adventure, and insite of the characters that Claudio Sanchez has created in this saga known as The Amory Wars... The song I chose is my favorite song from the album, titled "Far." "Far" is a song t hat fits the story's never ending search of love, in the midst of the inevitable end to come to the world. And the latest album is the prequel to the entire story that started with "Second Stage Turbine Blade."

A little trivia going along with this song, Back when Coheed was working on there 3rd full length album "Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume I: From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness"(yes... that is the albums title...), The band was going through a lot of personal crisis, with the loss of a dear family member and band therapist, stress with the rising fame, and loss of love, it was an album that Claudio wrote with his, now wife, in mind... And Welcome Home was written just for her... How scary is that?! But this song, is the combination of his love for her, and a testament of how much they have endured as a couple while in this great band...

Far is an emotionally gripping song, that allows the listener to be placed into the emotional battle of love ever-lasting from one to his love... Its rides upon a drum part that I think is a great reputation of that feeling of love one may get with a hard yet soft pounding of the heart, as you come to that point of emotion. Fallowed by beautiful yet slightly haunting lyrics stating that "no matter the distance" our love will ultimately endure, "no matter how far." Great melody, beautiful harmonies with lyric and string... its definitely a fave of mines... enjoy :)

The World Will ALWAYS Get What It Wants...

2010-04-13T20:29:00.003-04:00

I dare you to find one person in the entire world who likes the world "no." And I will find you someone who is a liar just for the benefit of feeling in power... Its a word that has lost its power... No one wants to hear it anymore, and no one expects to hear it... Once we are old enough to actually know the power of "no," we don't wanna hear it anymore... so, when someone asks you to go up and beyond the call of duty... you wanna say no, but sometimes, the lay on a thick layer of guilt to where you cant do anything but say "yes." Its fucked up... Cause, if you're the last hope of the world... you don't have any power to say "no." And now a days, its as if that right is being taken away from you for fear of loosing your job, loosing respect or even loosing reputation... but being the man that I am, I cant allow myself to have the world go wrong, so, I'm usually always stepping up, while everyone else is out and about doing whatever and turning off there phones or ignoring the calls, all the while, the good guy with the big heart gets placed back on the whipping post for more of a back-ripping good ole time! But the word "no" is becoming a dirtier word than "nigger", "stupid", or any other word that is common place in today's society. No one has the power to neglect anymore... its there way or the highway... Yes. I know I just used an old cliche... so what. Kill me... Anyways, I think that the power of "no" is loosing its grip... Without "no," Rosa Parks would be sitting in the back seat, Without "no," Neo would have been shot up with all them bullets in the Matrix, and wouldn't be alive to kill Agent Smith... Yeah, my small attempt of humor... But seriously, without the word "no" Tienanmen Square wouldn't have been a blood bath... The word "no" is powerful, but its being abused just like every heart that hangs on every sleeve... It sucks but its true. So, don't go off abusing hearts that hangs on sleeves... Goodnight, and Ill talk to y'all soon.

Dear Big Women,

2010-04-12T02:59:00.002-04:00

I know that you are a confident and beautiful woman, and you arent going to allow the world to tell you what to wear, but what you wear, may be telling you no... If you know that its too tight, too small, too short, or doesnt fit quite right, then its not to be worn in public... I know and understand that you are trying to give yourself some sort of motivation to feel sexy, but feeling sexy may require you wearing a bigger size shirt, skirt, or shoe... So, I beg you with all sincereity, and hope that you will see that I am writing this with your reputation on mind... Seriously, I dont think that its sexy to wear tights that shows me a model of the moon face... I know what it looks like, and I dont need it moving around in front of me while you walk... so, please, just wear something thats not that revealing, and that isnt, for the love of my sanity, and sleep that I lack, form-fitting... YOU AINT SKINNY!!! DEAL WITH IT!!! DRESS APPROPRIATELY!!! PLEASE!!! there you go. I love you. Stay sexy. :)

With all the love I can muster up...,

Jolly Green